My name is Pamela Ishihara. I am 60 years old and I’m here to tell you why I’m doing this GoFundMe fundraiser. It has been a long journey, but what I have learned is to be positive. People say this all the time, but what does it mean and why is it so important? If you say you are poor, you will be stuck there; if you say you are wealthy, you are already wealthy. It’s the power of words. It can create or destroy oneself. In my situation, it’s crucial to say things that will not hurt myself.

I was told in December 2025 that the doctors cannot help me here in Honolulu for my condition. Chronic pulmonary embolism is not just high blood pressure; it is in the lung. It can affect the heart to be strained, and this is me. I cried and did not know what was going on. In June 2025, I had a blood clot removed. In my recovery, it did not heal; it spread to my arteries in my lungs. Scarring occurred, and that is permanent. It cannot be suctioned out. My breathing got worse by the days, and I am on oxygen in my home. At first, I used it intermittently; now I am using it more frequently. Oxygen dependency is a concern, but when you cannot breathe, your body starts to break down. It came to a point where I could not even walk around or stand up. I couldn’t think, then eating became an issue. There’s a lot of energy used when eating. I would start sweating a lot, dropping like I worked out, all because I was digesting the food. I had to stop eating meats. Eating is power plus breathing; you can be an able person. If one does not work properly, organs start to fail. The blood is trying to go in and out, and it can’t because it’s blocked, and the arteries that are blocked will not get any of the blood nutrients it needs. Lack of breath persists. I have good and bad days and have been reading about my disease. It’s sad to say this, but if I do not go to San Diego, I will die. If I take too long to get there, I will die here. My paths are limited and hard to accept.

Despite having three daughters on the mainland, I have felt very alone through this journey. My relationship with them changed after my divorce, which was marked by financial abuse and loss. Their father took them away, and I’ve struggled to rebuild my life ever since. The financial control and isolation left me without support, and I can’t even get a credit card. It’s a terrible feeling to be so far from my children and to have lost the closeness we once shared. Through all of this, I’ve learned to be my own person and to keep moving forward, even when facing something as serious as death. I am reaching out now because I truly have nowhere else to turn.

I had to make a decision, and I did. The surgery in San Diego is my only hope, but it is a brutal process with risks. After surgery, I will be intubated, have a broken chest bone, need blood transfusions, and be on oxygen 24/7. I won’t be able to do anything on my own for a while—it’s truly major surgery. My caregiver will be with me to help with everything: pushing my wheelchair, carrying my medical equipment, and making sure I have the support I need to recover. The funds will help cover lodging for at least 8 weeks, transportation, airfare, medical bills, food, respiratory equipment, basic needs, caregiver expenses, and extra money to help me recover and regain some joy during this difficult time.

As a small wish, before my surgery, I would love to do at least one positive thing—like visiting SeaWorld—so I can carry a happy memory with me into this next chapter. Any support you can offer will help me take this step toward survival.