We've spent the last 2 years pursuing having a child of our own. In the last 8 months we dove head first into IVF. During this entire process we learned that we are THE perfect candidate for a successful transfer. Each time we had a doctors appointment the test results would come back exponentially healthier than the majority. We were in the 90th percentile for success. Matter of fact, if you had put all our numbers on a piece of paper I'm quite sure it would have said we were 99.9% guaranteed to have a baby.
On 8/29/19 we transferred our perfect 5AA embryo into a perfectly 12mm lined uterus. The transfer went perfect. From that day on we did everything we were supposed to and didn't do anything we weren't supposed to.
Saturday, 9/7/19 we got the call that our little embaby did not stick. We are not pregnant. We will not be carrying this child.
We knew this was always an option because IVF doesn't guarantee pregnancy, but we truly never expected to hear those words. Not after doing everything right. Not after hearing so much encouragement from our doctor and many nurses.
So, here we are, creating a gofundme.
Amanda: "This feels heavy. To be honest, I hate having to do this. I feel embarrassed and sad. I wish we could quietly do another IVF cycle, outside of the public eye, but we can't because we can't afford it. I'm scared that this will fail again. The idea that others will donate to a cause that isn't guaranteed is frightening. If it doesn't work, how do I tell each and every one of you that this failed? Am I then letting every one of you down? That's too heavy of a weight for me to carry. I feel like I will owe each person a constant update on whatever they want to know since they've donated. It feels unfair to have to share our most intimate pieces of our lives with others because we can't do this alone.
With all that said, there is light in the darkness. I'm grateful for all the love, kindness, well wishes, prayers, happy baby thoughts and more that we've received. All the support has made our load a little lighter, more bearable. We couldn't have done the first cycle without a community of loved ones. We certainly cannot do it again on our own."
Camden: "I’m not one to ask for help. I’m a big believer in hard work, dedication, and finding a way to make things work. I’ve put my heart and soul into this process, given my all, mentally, emotionally, financially. I’m a financial, logic driven individual by trade and I’ve run the numbers, tried to figure out how to do this without anyone else. But that’s where the beauty of human connection lies isn’t it? I don’t have to do this alone, we don’t have to do this alone. I know there will be those that don’t agree with us going this route and asking for help financially, and that’s ok. You may have a myriad of reasons you cannot or will not donate. I don’t need an explanation or a justification, but I also know that people can’t help and won’t help if they don’t know that we need the help. This feels weird asking for financial assistance. I feel like I’m the guy standing on the street corner with the cardboard sign and I never thought I would be that person, but I’m at the point too where every little bit helps. I’m exhausted. I’m afraid of doing this again. Of failure. Of facing the long looks of compassion, the sadness in people’s eyes again if it doesn’t work. I don’t want to face that. But I’m a believer in finding a way, and right now, this is the only way."
We've spent $33,000 on the first failed transfer. We would like to try one more time, but the cost is too much for us. If you feel inclined to donate, please do. Any amount helps. And if you can't donate, we'll still accept all those prayers and happy thoughts. We need those too.