Help a Black Woman Find Permanent Housing
Donation protected
Hi, I’m a 27 year old Black cisgendered woman in London, and I’m sure my story isn’t unique, or the worst, but I am asking for love from my community. The past five year period has been filled with traumatic experiences in my home and professional working life that have made it difficult for me to function in my day to day or feel safe.
When I initially moved to London at 18, I lived with family, and worked in non SW jobs, but was faced with emotional, verbal, financial and physical abuse at the hands of the family member I lived with.
Some of the situations I was subjected to were things like, arriving to my clothing being cut up and destroyed and shown out, laptops and electronics being destroyed, and these events were often followed by lengthy periods of me being kicked out. Over time, I drained my finances as I was facing replacing items over and over again, while contributing money to my family member, and also working minimum wage. In the 5 years of living with my family, I am embarrassed to say how many times this happened. I slowly conceded with taking items of value with me where I could. My mental and physical health suffered.
I did anything and everything I could to be outside of the house. Including entering a long term emotionally abusive relationship.
I spent my time balancing through harmful situations, using them to escape each other, but still stupidly unaware of the affect it had on my mental health. I was, and have been a high functioning person through times of trauma, and never saw my situation as one that was ‘as bad’ as it could be. During this time my University offered some tools for coping, but they were through academic support and my mental health options with the NHS were exhausted, I needed private therapy but my funds didn’t allow me to continue properly.
I was lucky, and landed a paid internship after graduation, which turned out to be the beginning of the end of my ability to cope. I was tokenised, ignored, belittled all whilst I was expected to carry departments on my back and be one of the faces of diversity.
After ‘Getting Out’ of that role, I deluded myself into accepting another one at what was, at the time, considered to be a great place to be for up and coming artists. I was brought in as their marketing guide to Blackness.
After suffering the loss of my mother, I in turn lost that job. A combination of being in a white dominated, semi corporate creative space, and my immediate return to work while grieving, it was easy to be let go. I was in my 6 month probationary period, so the timing didn't allow for me to benefit from a severance. The situation at my family home became volatile and I was kicked out, leading me to couch-surfing and subletting until I found something more long term.
I have been in survival mode, and not had the luxury, or funds to cope with my losses yet.
I originally had savings and was preparing to move out in September, but COVID has stopped all my creative work, and sex work, both customer facing. I hate asking for help, but I feel trapped in this cycle of the rug being pulled out. Raising funds would finally allow me to breath, align, take care of my basic needs, and not be in survival mode.
With funds I hope to
- Pay deposit for a flat (with a safe friend I already know)
- Secure a therapist for me to cope with the traumas
If you've read all of that, thank you eternally. Even if donating isn't an option, I appreciate you reading my words, and hopefully this can inspire someone to get out of whatever cycle they're in. It is hard, and I often beat myself up about how much time and money I wasted, but it's never too late!
When I initially moved to London at 18, I lived with family, and worked in non SW jobs, but was faced with emotional, verbal, financial and physical abuse at the hands of the family member I lived with.
Some of the situations I was subjected to were things like, arriving to my clothing being cut up and destroyed and shown out, laptops and electronics being destroyed, and these events were often followed by lengthy periods of me being kicked out. Over time, I drained my finances as I was facing replacing items over and over again, while contributing money to my family member, and also working minimum wage. In the 5 years of living with my family, I am embarrassed to say how many times this happened. I slowly conceded with taking items of value with me where I could. My mental and physical health suffered.
I did anything and everything I could to be outside of the house. Including entering a long term emotionally abusive relationship.
I spent my time balancing through harmful situations, using them to escape each other, but still stupidly unaware of the affect it had on my mental health. I was, and have been a high functioning person through times of trauma, and never saw my situation as one that was ‘as bad’ as it could be. During this time my University offered some tools for coping, but they were through academic support and my mental health options with the NHS were exhausted, I needed private therapy but my funds didn’t allow me to continue properly.
I was lucky, and landed a paid internship after graduation, which turned out to be the beginning of the end of my ability to cope. I was tokenised, ignored, belittled all whilst I was expected to carry departments on my back and be one of the faces of diversity.
After ‘Getting Out’ of that role, I deluded myself into accepting another one at what was, at the time, considered to be a great place to be for up and coming artists. I was brought in as their marketing guide to Blackness.
After suffering the loss of my mother, I in turn lost that job. A combination of being in a white dominated, semi corporate creative space, and my immediate return to work while grieving, it was easy to be let go. I was in my 6 month probationary period, so the timing didn't allow for me to benefit from a severance. The situation at my family home became volatile and I was kicked out, leading me to couch-surfing and subletting until I found something more long term.
I have been in survival mode, and not had the luxury, or funds to cope with my losses yet.
I originally had savings and was preparing to move out in September, but COVID has stopped all my creative work, and sex work, both customer facing. I hate asking for help, but I feel trapped in this cycle of the rug being pulled out. Raising funds would finally allow me to breath, align, take care of my basic needs, and not be in survival mode.
With funds I hope to
- Pay deposit for a flat (with a safe friend I already know)
- Secure a therapist for me to cope with the traumas
If you've read all of that, thank you eternally. Even if donating isn't an option, I appreciate you reading my words, and hopefully this can inspire someone to get out of whatever cycle they're in. It is hard, and I often beat myself up about how much time and money I wasted, but it's never too late!
Fundraising team (2)
Jade B
Organizer
Bernice Mulenga
Team member
