Top Surgery for Ryan

Hey there. My name is Ryan and I'm raising money to have top surgery in Denver in January. For those who don't know, top surgery is a gender affirming chest surgery to remove unwanted breast tissue and create a more masculine shaped chest. This is done to relieve dsyphoria surrounding one's chest.

My story:
For my entire life I felt like something was wrong with me. I was never comfortable in my body or with the societal roles imposed on me because of it.  As a child I didn't understand why I couldn't play on the football team or run around with no shirt on. I didn't understand why I had to wear dresses or people wanted me to play with dolls. I didn't know why I wasn't supposed to be tough or to lift heavy things or ride skateboards or all the other things that my brain was wired to do. None of it made sense to me. Honestly it still doesn't, but that's a different issue. As my body started to go through puberty and change, I started to fall apart. I would stare at myself in the mirror, hating what I saw, wishing it would all go away and I would look like the person I knew I was on the inside. I lived like this for a long time. Trying to suppress it, to push it down and lock it away and be what everyone wanted me to be. Well I can't do that anymore. I can't keep pretending. I need to be me. 

I didn't know anything about transgender and gender non-conforming people when I was growing up. I thought that I was stuck with what I was given. I was miserable and depressed and didn't think life was worth it anymore. When I learned that there were other people like me and stopped hiding and accepted who I really am, a new door was opened. A new chapter of my life that I am finally excited to live. Top surgery is a necessary step for me to live that life.  It's also expensive and I could really use some help. For those of you who know me, asking for help is kind of a big deal and this is really hard for me to do, but this is extremely important to me. 

Thank you and I appreciate your helping my in my journey toward being my true self inside and out.



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Ryan Vannoy 
Longmont, CO
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