Growing our Men's Work Movement

.                video by Esco Lacqua. www.escolacqua.com                .

OUR PRAYER FOR THE FUTURE

Our prayer is to continue building safe, loving, and nurturing communities by acknowledging the harms that patriarchy has caused to our lives and relationships, and by calling in our fellow men to unearth and heal the patriarchal tendencies within ourselves. To us, this work is a practice of interdependence and collective liberation. We want to grow this work to reach more people in more places. We want to create a network of men who can support one another, celebrate each other, grieve together, and provide passage for the next generation of men.

This winter, our co-organizers (Dor, Ophir, Eli, Alex & Ben) are making time to deepen our vision for this work and put together an organizational structure that can allow us to expand our offerings and reach. We have rented a home in Northern California where we will spend a month living together and figuring out the answers to the many questions we hold for how we can grow this work.
 
ABOUT OUR WORK

What does it mean to be conditioned and socialized to fit within our society’s accepted understanding of masculinity? What is the impact that this socialization has on our bodies, spirits, closest relationships and the communities we're a part of? These questions are alive at the center of our exploration as a community of male conditioned/identifying folks addressing toxic masculinity behavior and the role of patriarchy in our lives. We see patriarchal conditioning as a foundational element of many kinds of oppression, and we believe that healing patriarchy is essential to reducing harm in all spaces.

One of our primary beliefs is that healing masculinity must be shouldered by male folk, and a key intention of ours is to shift the burden of emotional healing away from women/femmes/non-binary folk in our lives. For 4 years we have been gathering together, in person or online, to practice these ideals. In a dozen gatherings with over 100 men, we deepen our relationships with ourselves and each other, and aspire to bring forward a culture and community built on male nurturance.

 

HOW YOU CAN SUPPORT

In order to make the most out of our time together, we are calling in the support of a professional business coach. We will be working with Sarai Nicolina Shapiro, who will help us to address and answer the following questions:

The price for professional coaching for our aspiring organization is $2,000, and we are hoping that our community can help us cover this cost. We are also taking on the costs for our temporary home and expenses related to hosting several groups for meals and gatherings during our month, including: mentors, peer educators, accountability partners, previous participants and community members. Covering the cost of our coaching is priority, and having support from our extended community in meeting other costs, which we anticipate equaling about $4,000, would be greatly appreciated.

 

THE IMPACT OF THIS WORK - TESTIMONIES FROM OUR COMMUNITY

“We're in a lonely and isolating chapter of an already lonely and isolating dominant cultural experience. It takes great courage and vulnerability to carve out space for a refuge like the one that we had last weekend together... For me, it was rain on a parched field.”

 

“I've felt so alone as a socialized man in our society for so long. I have felt that I have to know how to be strong, how to navigate life showing I know what I am doing and knowing exactly why I am doing it. I have felt alone without tools for navigating sexuality, intimate relationships, the transition to adulthood, grief and trauma. A few years ago when the #MeToo movement took off, I was going through a lot of trauma and grief regarding my own personal life, and in starting a journey towards my own wellness I started to learn more about patriarchy and toxic masculinity through reading, podcasts, and eventually intimate relationship with my current partner. However, what has been missing in my own journey towards wellness has been actual spaces to practice this healthier masculinity with other men. To see where I still feel stuck and hurt. To gain insight into what keeps me from living my life more fully and lovingly. I feel that this retreat cracked me wide open. I feel that doing so was a gift and showed me that I want to crack, I want to be in real relationship with other men where we talk about what is hard, what we are struggling with, what we don't know. This retreat created a safe and meaningful container for me to listen to other men and their experiences. It created a space for me to imagine new friendships based on healing from and acknowledging experiences of ego, shame and harming our selves and others. I think this men's work is important for me personally but most of all for our society.”

 

“The gathering provided a healing space for me to engage with other men who are equally as interested in doing the work as I am. I feel a part of a team of brothers working to heal ourselves so we can shed light on the more beautiful world that our hearts already know as possible.”

“The retreat was such a powerful way to connect, even during the physical distancing of this COVID pandemic. This workshop reinforced my desire to do more work undoing the way patriarchy has shaped me. I think this requires lots of healing and transformation, which needs to happen in our minds, emotions, and our bodies. I loved how this retreat emphasized embodied practice and ritual. I've been in workshops before where the entire conversation remains cognitive, and this workshop deepened my understanding that healing can deepen when we pay attention to what's happening in our bodies.”

“This retreat opened the door to a community who is willing to put in the work and act as a brotherhood to heal the iniquities in our system, to re-socialize what being a strong, vulnerable, emotionally-connected man can be, and to support each other through our difficulties. The poetry of words, spirit, and empathy invigorated me to be a better me, one who can ask for help and will show up to lift up those less enfranchised.”

“Wow! Where to start? The retreat was the most sacred, rich, and profound experience I’ve ever had in doing men’s work. What a powerful group of young leaders and initiates! These men are the wisdom keepers of our Jewish lineage, seekers, creatives, healers, who are committed to healing the great divide of our time. A beautifully curated journey using the lens of Jewish mysticism to do deep healing work on all levels of existence. I am absolutely convinced, without a doubt, that this work is what will heal our planet. Thank you to these courageous, compassionate, graceful and powerful facilitators who embody the masculine and feminine so beautifully in these male bodies. I’m so impressed by the organization of this online experience, it flowed so seamlessly! I can not wait for what is to come, especially with in-person retreats and experiences!”