Grooming, Financial Ruin, & Identity Theft of Single Senior

AWARENESS: Grooming & Financial Ruin of the Elderly

I’ve been encouraged and discouraged, but ultimately, it’s my decision on what I post about the crime that was committed against me. I’m a victim and I have rights.

The brother of my best friend of 52 years conned me into spending my whole life savings and destroyed my home.  

If Should you want to read the full story, its below. Here it is in a nutshell:

• He wasn’t charging me labor for my remodel. he was doing it because he loved me and wanted me to have a nice home.  I let him use my BMW.  He turned it into his own. He threw all my belongings in the trash, or in my trunk. He stole my car seat for my doggies. Oh yeah, he stole my car for a day and my son‘s had to go pick it up. 
• This was premeditated. He knew exactly what he was doing. He knew how much money I had in the bank because I let him use my debit card to get some cash out for his job. I was still paying him some money. He knew exactly how much money I had in the bank, and as soon as I started deleting that that’s when he started on the loan for a car.
• He groomed me and made me feel guilty that I wasnt cosigning for a car.  He had my credentials because I was supposed to loan in $5000 for a car. That turned into $22,000. At that time I said no more.
• He started threatening me that I promised him he would do my walk-in shower for training for a car loan. That was a lie.
• I found 100+ fentanyl pills behind the driver seat in my BMW. I’m a recovering prescription fentanyl addict. I almost relapsed. It was the closest I’ve been since I got clean. He very well could have been trafficking drugs through my basement.
• He was stashing stolen property in my basement without my knowledge.
• I lost my best friend over this because she’s his sister. It has been very difficult for me mentally, physically, and emotionally.
• He has literally destroyed my life. But I’m a survivor and a warrior and I shall, in time, overcome this.

ANYWAY:

This Chapter of my life happened in a matter of six weeks. I’m broke, traumatized, and a VICTIM of somebody I trusted with all my heart. He was the brother of my best friend, so I felt safe. I hope sharing my story can bring about awareness and prevent it from happening to others. Especially, an older single woman who is vulnerable, easily manipulated and persuaded, retired, disabled, and has a big heart. I have to get a whole new identity. Do not trust anyone. If it happened to you, you're not alone. If it hasn't, be aware.

I'm devastated and physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted. I’m hypervigilant and manic. I'm in a constant state of panic. He triggered my PTSD, Bipolar, and my addiction. I’m hypervigilant, and I have to re-process all of that. Oh yeah, he also stole my car for a day.

JCPD filed a felony report. I was groomed. The text messages are clear. He knew how much money I had and when threaten me labor for an auto loan. I have no idea if he’s still in town. JCPD recommended an ex parte order, change my locks, get a new garage door opener, give them the text messages, and any other information.

He's a pathological liar, and a good one. He manipulated me. He's a conman. He applied for loans without my knowledge. I agreed to cosign for $5,000. That $5000 turned into $22,000. I talked to one lending company and said NO! He got mad said I promised I would cosign if he put in my shower. That was a lie. I promised to cosign with the kindness of my heart.

He didn’t care about me or the work, only himself. He fraudulently applied for several loans with my credentials. I had several hard inquiries, he used/forged my address. He didn’t have an ID, so he had trouble identifying himself. That’s when he needed me most. PREMEDITATED!

He would say I found a car for $6000, or 7,000, but they need your license. Make a copy of the front and back. They need to know how much your retirement and disability is, they need your account info to prove your mortgage and your auto loan. Send that over to me real quick, and I’ll take care of it. He’s a narcissist, psychopath and a pervert. I’m a loving, happy person with a big heart. He didn’t realize I’m a survivor and a warrior of many things. It’ll take me a minute, but I’ll get through it. I need some grace for being angry rage texting. I don’t anger or confrontation. It scares me. And, I’m scared of most men. Too many of them have hurt me.

Please remember, he was grooming and manipulating me. I thought I could trust him, he was close to me. I didn’t know him at all. At first, he was charming, and acted like he loved me so much.

He wanted that auto loan to flee Missouri. He came here with nothing. He kept on about how I promised him to trade the shower for the loan. He knew I didn’t have any money left. He tried to get me to take out an equity loan and a personal loan. I said no because he lied to me about the $5,000 loan. After the 2nd week, the lovey-dovey messages of how he appreciated me, loved me, and how we needed each other, stopped. You can see how focused he was.

The first two weeks were wonderful. It was looking beautiful I was so happy and proud. I saved for a long time to update and repair. The problems were below the surface. My countertops weren’t hooked down, door frames weren’t hooked on, my wall boards are either lost or not hooked on right. The back splashes in the kitchen and the bathroom were never finished, you can’t use bathroom plug-in because of the backsplash, the kitchen cabinets are already yellow and peeling, my hallway is 1/3 done and he never finished painting my kitchen. I have paint all over my floors, I’m still trying to get it up. He stole the flooring for my bedroom.

No project was finished. Starting another big project meant more money. And the longer it took gave him more access to the basement to stash the stolen property or traffic the drugs he was buying with MY MONEY. Who knows what he was doing down there? I don’t go to the basement, I’m a fall risk.

They haven’t come to get the stolen property. I’m not sure if they will or not. They said I could pawn what I paid for. I don’t know if I can find the owners.

Once I saw his past charges, I lost it. I had no idea, but while he was serving time for identity theft and forgery, he was charged with suspicion of human trafficking, child prostitution, and keeping a place of child prostitution. He was listed as a “sex buyer”. I live about three blocks from the elementary school. He’s a registered sex offender.

After the first two weeks, it was horrible. He was coming and going from my basement. Running back-and-forth, to Lowe’s and Menard’s 10 times a day. Now I know why. He was stealing other people’s property and putting it in my basement. I was afraid to say anything, because I needed the work done and he was already making me feel guilty. I felt trapped. He kept saying he was doing all of this work labor-free because he loved me and he wanted me to have a nice home. And by letting him borrow my spare vehicle, I was doing more than enough. He manipulated me into happily sharing my BMW. He threw all of my stuff away. Or else I found it in the trunk. He scratched my Pomeranian decal off the side of my car because he didn’t want it there. He turned my car into his car. And he had no remorse, He was very charismatic. He was always hugging me and telling me how special I was in his life. The text messages fit together like a puzzle. So obvious and scary.

He let Ozzy out. He was lost for 3 hours. He didn't help look for him. Brodi and Abby both got out several times and they were contained. He left a basement door and garage door open. They’re rescued, they don't run loose. We crated in the bedroom for four weeks. You never knew when he was gonna show up. They kept peeing on his tools and piddling all over the house. They're potty trained. Now that he’s gone, they haven’t potted in the house. They were trying to tell me he was bad. They were saying, piss on you! Sam said to watch out the first week. He wanted me to stop several times. I kept saying I’ll never have this chance again if I don’t do it now with free labor. I told him to hush, that I could trust my friends. Well, Sam was right. He usually is. Lol.

He got sloppy. I was pretty sure he relapsed, if he ever stopped. The neighbor noticed a change in too. The fentanyl pills weren’t for him. I think he was selling those. His drug of choice is meth.

It’s not just me, it’s my friends. He screwed them over too. He made them pay upfront and didn’t finish their jobs. He overcharged. I wish I had never recommended him. I loved him, I trusted him, I was like his puppet. He groomed me, used me, manipulated me, and put me into financial ruin.

Everything changed and became about money. He said, You’re a sugar mama, you look great on paper, it’ll be this much more, that will be this much more, I’m so blessed to have you, I need the amount of money, I need that amount of money. He had me paying for his motel rooms, I’m so happy you’re in my life. I appreciate you so much, I love you. This is the best time of my life. That we got reconnected and we’re all a family. I need $300 more to do that, that’ll be another $743 (he would use odd numbers, so I thought it was a receipt),

I know, I was stupid. I should’ve known better. I do know better. I can’t say anything other than I trusted him, I felt trapped, and he made me feel guilty. I started feeling threatened. He'd say I promised to cosign for him. He was always going to pay the money right back. He always had an excuse for why he couldn’t get the cash.

This same person had 100+ fentanyl pills in my vehicle (I’m a prescription recovering fentanyl addict). I also suffer from mental health issues. I get meds and see my therapist regularly. She was disgusted. She was sad. And she said he’s a conman and a horrible, horrible human being. It felt really good to talk to somebody who truly believed me. Sure I'm dramatic. Who wouldn't be? Put yourself in my shoes, or better yet, don’t judge me for what happened to me. I want to share my story for awareness Thankfully, I didn't relapse. This was the closest I've come to relapsing in 10 years. I can’t get those little blue pills out of my head.

He said he could do my shower for $2000, and it’ll be like a $10,000 bathroom (that never happened). It now has to be torn out and started over, and I need a plumber. So now, I’d only have to pay to replace the materials, I have to pay for labor, and a plumber. My $2000 bathroom is gonna turn into a $6000. I already had to call a plumber twice because he screwed up the plumbing so bad after saying he knew what he was doing. That cost me $500. Then my air conditioner mysteriously stopped working, which was $500. He said he had been doing this work for 25 years. And then the shower faucets and shower doors disappeared. I guess he took those back and got my money back for himself.

By the way, if you are missing golf clubs, leaf blowers, weed eaters, utility carts, drills, saws, tools upon tools upon tools, they're in my basement.

I have a destroyed bathroom that has to be redone, literally redone. Lots of the other things that were done have to be fixed. My countertops weren’t hooked down. My door frames weren’t hooked on. My trim wasn’t put back on. Not one project was finished. And the reason is that if he started another big project, he could get a lot more money out of me. Also, it gave him more access to the house to stash the stolen property. He has my garage door opener.

Today, I become a new identity.

All of the steps you have to go through our unbelievable. Depending on the severity, I may even have to get a new Social Security number. I’m hoping I don’t have to do that.

I have to go get a real ID because he had a copy of my license. I have to get with DOR, MoDOT retirement, banks, SSA, Medicare, Equifax to place a fraud on my account, I have to re-enter all my new account information for my online bills, I have to change my cash app and PayPal, and I have to change all of my passwords, even my Apple ID. Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, TikTok, so much to do.

I’ve started over before, and I can do it again. I had therapy and some spiritual guidance today. That helped after 5 days of nothing but panic and tears. Bad things happen to good people by bad people.

I’ve never asked for anything in my life. This is very hard for me to do. The only GoFundMe I have ever been involved with is giving or raising money for my charity.

My bathroom has been out of commission since April 11. I still don’t have my bathroom door put on. I was left without water for three days while he ran around with my car. And then, the new shower nozzles and my shower doors disappeared. He stole some of my flooring for my bedroom. I guess he was pawning all of it to get drugs. I noticed a change after two weeks, I was suspicious he was using. He was using it all right. Literally and figuratively. He used me for six weeks, took me for every dime I had, and I hope he’s left town.

Be smarter than I was, and never trust anybody with your information. Sometimes you can’t trust those you know the best.

Any small donation will help me rebuild my life. I have a lot of work here to be fixed and redone. And now, I’m forced to pay the labor along with the cost of replacing materials, or having to buy more because the wrong ones were bought.. I’m just a little retired lady with a very limited income on a strict budget. How did I let this happen? I know it won’t happen again, and I hope it doesn’t happen to you♥️

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