Grief Changes Who We Are—Help Bring This Research to Life

I never thought I'd make it to university, let alone be accepted onto a PhD programme.

I come from a difficult background: an abusive home, periods of homelessness, and no family to turn to. Even while working multiple jobs, I pushed through and made it through university. Philosophy became more than just an academic pursuit; it was a way to make sense of what I had been through. That's why I'm researching grief—not as an abstract concept but as something that fundamentally reshapes us.

The Research: Why It Matters

Grief changes us. When we lose someone, we don't just feel their absence: we lose part of ourselves. My research explores this transformation, challenging the idea that grief is simply a psychological process we 'get through.' Instead, I argue that it forces us to reconstruct our identity in ways we don't fully understand.

While psychology provides models for grief's emotional progression, and analytic philosophy has explored its ethical and metaphysical aspects, there is a gap in understanding how grief fundamentally reshapes our being. Traditional phenomenology gives us rich descriptions of loss but often stops at experience rather than addressing the existential reconfiguration that grief demands.

My research introduces a new way of framing this: grief as an ontological rupture. I develop the concept of being-in-the-midst-of-non-being to capture how loss forces us to confront our own being, not as an abstract reflection but as an unavoidable reality. We are not merely with others in life; our very identity is entangled with them. When they are gone, we must navigate an existence that has been fundamentally altered.

This perspective has real-world implications. How we understand grief shapes bereavement support, mental health care, and even how we engage with those experiencing loss. By deepening our philosophical understanding of grief, we can begin to recognise why standard models of "coping" often fail: because they do not account for how grief reconstructs identity.

I've already begun this research, working under leading scholars in the field. I've been accepted onto a PhD programme at Edinburgh University, supervised by Dr. Michael Cholbi, one of the foremost philosophers of death and dying. This is my chance to complete this work and bring these ideas to a broader audience.

But I can't do it without support.

Why I'm Asking for Help

I've always worked to support myself, juggling jobs while studying. However, PhD funding is a different challenge. Although I was accepted into the programme, proving the merit of my research, I wasn't awarded a scholarship. Without financial support, I won't be able to continue.

I have already put all my savings toward paying this year's tuition, but there's still a significant shortfall. I'm working two jobs to keep going, which is insufficient to cover the costs. The funds raised here will go directly toward tuition fees, ensuring I can continue this research and complete my PhD.

I know times are tough for everyone, and asking for help doesn't come easily to me. But if you believe this research is worth supporting - if you think grief deserves deeper exploration - please consider donating. Any amount, no matter how small, helps make this research possible.

Even sharing this page would mean a lot if you can't donate.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and for any support you can give.