Midlife crisis for two great causes !!!!

Hello, my name is Darren Machen, failed inventor and want to be Gravy wrestling world champion!!!!

Since a young age I have dreamt of being a wrestler but not just any wrestler a Jelly wrestler. After years of trying to break into that scene in Japan in the late 90’s I finally got my shot in 1998 as wet behind the years 18-year-old!! However, I didn’t anticipate how slippy Jelly was, and only ever practiced in luke warm custard. I was confident and as my theme tune hit (cotton eyed joe) I strutted to the ring like a proud peacock, the bell sounded I went to go in for the clinch and slipped instantly on the Jello this resulted in me ended up with a severely pulled back and an embarrassing loss to a 84-year old veteran of the sport. Who while I was on the canvas administered a crippling and very painful Boston crab, forcing me to tap out in such an agony it could only be comparable to man flu, credit to him he went on to win the belt and defend the title for another ten years #legend.

This spiralled me into years of comforting eating and my size ballooned and all though I looked like a curvy George Clooney (in my head) my dream of a wrestling career was over (drum roll) until now at the prime age of 45 years old.

I have managed with the help of Mounjaro (other providers are available) to shed some weight and have started to jog. The best thing is I have been able to pass the chippy without popping in for my favourite treats a battered crunchie with a spam fritter chaser, which is a first for me !!!!

On the back of this I tried to reach out WWJC (World wrestling Jelly championships) in the hope of rematch with Derick “the Spitfire” Smith, only to find that organisation had now progressed and turned into an MMA company called the UFC (never heard of it) with Derick now taking up back yard bare knuckle boxing in his care home, I’m too soft for that level of violence ☹. My Rocky style wrestling comeback was in tatters. Until I received a life changing call from the World Gravy wrestling championships with an offer and a chance to fight 15 other lycra clad men in Bisto for a title, who wouldn’t jump at the chance !!!

Tepid Gravy is nothing like Jelly and I think with my newfound speed and cat like agility, I will be able to bring the title back to Yorkshire !!!!

My alias/ ring name is the Yorkshire pudding, and my new entrance music will be thunderstruck by AC/DC

I will be donning the leotard on the 25th of August at the 17th annual event in Rossendale all in aid of charity. My chosen charities are Wakefield hospice and East Lancs hospice. We all know how important hospices are and how much they rely on charitable funding to provide care. My ask is if you can spare any change for a donation to these great causes it would be massively appreciated.