
Giving to Charity in the Memory of Shabib Sajid
Donation protected
After a 2 and a half year fight my dad, Shabib Sajid, lost his battle against cholangiocarcinoma on the 5th of March, 2021.
Bile duct cancer, a relatively rare malignancy, was something we had never even heard about when he was first diagnosed. What manifested as a backache and prompted many mattress changes eventually led to him finally going to a doctor when he bumped his chest into his desk at work and felt a sharp, very different, pain. What we assumed was going to be something as relatively benign as kidney stones or an ulcer (not small medical issues in themselves but must better than the alternative) ended up becoming ultrasounds, CT scans, and PET scans, which resulted in the worst news you could possibly hear. Cancer. Thus began my dad's valiant struggle to beat this disease.
From the day we got the news, right up to the day before he passed, he was a fighter. He was determined to never let this disease get the best of him. We caught his cancer late, already at stage 4. That's typical of gastrointestinal cancers, which is why they are so deadly. Our family was a relatively healthy family and no one had ever had cancer before. What does it mean to have cancer? Do I have months? Days? Is there anything at all we can do? We got our answers as time went by but those initial few days and months were filled with lots of anxiety. Thinking back, that anxiety never quite went away. It was always a question of whether there was anything else we could do.
His cancer didn't have a treatment which meant the best we could do was try to hold it back; keep it where it had already gotten to. Chemotherapy was the only real option. That brought its own set of challenges in terms of a weakened immune system, hair loss, and pain. Lots of pain. People who have not had intimate exposure to someone undergoing chemo don't realize how taxing chemo can be on the body. It slowly eats away at you. It eats away at the disease for sure but it eats away at your healthy cells as well. The neuropathy (nerve pain) that can develop can be completely debilitating. The loss of taste can make your favorite food become revolting. Chemo is not easy to deal with but my dad endured. He endured and took so much chemotherapy that new doctors we met would be surprised at how long he stayed on it at such a high dosage. Despite it all, his spirit never broke.
Even though he was a fighter, he was also the most kind and gentle man you'd ever see. He raised me and my 2 younger brothers well. He never let us brothers or my mom, his wife, have a complaint. His kindness, generosity, and pure concern for others is best exemplified by what happened the day before he passed. My amazing angel of a father was unable to breathe well towards the end. He had developed a pulmonary edema which is medical speak for fluid getting into the tissue of your lungs. He was gasping for breath, unable to eat, and barely able to hold himself straight in his own chair. He had to sit up or else, doctors explained to us, that it felt like he was drowning. He had friends visit him to try to raise his spirits. We kept him heavily sedated in his last few days because sedation always helps ease your breathing. We figured that when he woke up and saw his friends he would be happy so we encouraged people to come. Given his room at this point was full of medical equipment we were only able to put out 2 chairs in the room, which was fine, since most people came as pairs, but then we had a 3rd friend show up. My dad had just come out of his sedative induced nap and saw this 3rd friend of his didn't have a place to sit. Despite being unable to breathe, unable to sit up straight, definitely unable to stand under his own power, he tried to get up and offer his chair to his friend. In that state, being in immense pain, imagine still being more worried about your friend not having a chair to sit on and trying to offer up your seat. Witnessing that moment, I teared up. It was one of those moments when where you truly understood how good the person in front of you was. People show themselves at the end and my dad certainly did as well.
That was the kind of man he was. Caring. Kind. Loving. He wasn't scared for the end. He was only ever concerned about what would happen to us. Whether he was leaving behind enough support for us. Whether we would be financially in want after he passed. I would always tell him to stop worrying about us and just focus on getting better. Of course he never listened and still spent all of his time focused on his family but again, that's just the kind of man he was. Caring. Kind. Loving.
We start this GoFundMe in honor of our lovely dad, husband, angel of a human being. Shabib Sajid left this world with a smile on his face and having imprinted that smile on the hearts of everyone he touched. We would like to raise money to cover some small funeral expenses but to, more importantly, give to charity in his name in order to further spread his smile. I, Shahyan Sajid, his eldest son would oversee the funds be used primarily for charity towards the causes that he cared for or for the small funeral expenses still outstanding.
Our family asks that more than any donations you can make though, that you offer a prayer for his departed soul. Pray for the beautiful soul that has left us and that he be proud with everything that he left behind.
Thank you for you generosity in donations and in prayers.
Bile duct cancer, a relatively rare malignancy, was something we had never even heard about when he was first diagnosed. What manifested as a backache and prompted many mattress changes eventually led to him finally going to a doctor when he bumped his chest into his desk at work and felt a sharp, very different, pain. What we assumed was going to be something as relatively benign as kidney stones or an ulcer (not small medical issues in themselves but must better than the alternative) ended up becoming ultrasounds, CT scans, and PET scans, which resulted in the worst news you could possibly hear. Cancer. Thus began my dad's valiant struggle to beat this disease.
From the day we got the news, right up to the day before he passed, he was a fighter. He was determined to never let this disease get the best of him. We caught his cancer late, already at stage 4. That's typical of gastrointestinal cancers, which is why they are so deadly. Our family was a relatively healthy family and no one had ever had cancer before. What does it mean to have cancer? Do I have months? Days? Is there anything at all we can do? We got our answers as time went by but those initial few days and months were filled with lots of anxiety. Thinking back, that anxiety never quite went away. It was always a question of whether there was anything else we could do.
His cancer didn't have a treatment which meant the best we could do was try to hold it back; keep it where it had already gotten to. Chemotherapy was the only real option. That brought its own set of challenges in terms of a weakened immune system, hair loss, and pain. Lots of pain. People who have not had intimate exposure to someone undergoing chemo don't realize how taxing chemo can be on the body. It slowly eats away at you. It eats away at the disease for sure but it eats away at your healthy cells as well. The neuropathy (nerve pain) that can develop can be completely debilitating. The loss of taste can make your favorite food become revolting. Chemo is not easy to deal with but my dad endured. He endured and took so much chemotherapy that new doctors we met would be surprised at how long he stayed on it at such a high dosage. Despite it all, his spirit never broke.
Even though he was a fighter, he was also the most kind and gentle man you'd ever see. He raised me and my 2 younger brothers well. He never let us brothers or my mom, his wife, have a complaint. His kindness, generosity, and pure concern for others is best exemplified by what happened the day before he passed. My amazing angel of a father was unable to breathe well towards the end. He had developed a pulmonary edema which is medical speak for fluid getting into the tissue of your lungs. He was gasping for breath, unable to eat, and barely able to hold himself straight in his own chair. He had to sit up or else, doctors explained to us, that it felt like he was drowning. He had friends visit him to try to raise his spirits. We kept him heavily sedated in his last few days because sedation always helps ease your breathing. We figured that when he woke up and saw his friends he would be happy so we encouraged people to come. Given his room at this point was full of medical equipment we were only able to put out 2 chairs in the room, which was fine, since most people came as pairs, but then we had a 3rd friend show up. My dad had just come out of his sedative induced nap and saw this 3rd friend of his didn't have a place to sit. Despite being unable to breathe, unable to sit up straight, definitely unable to stand under his own power, he tried to get up and offer his chair to his friend. In that state, being in immense pain, imagine still being more worried about your friend not having a chair to sit on and trying to offer up your seat. Witnessing that moment, I teared up. It was one of those moments when where you truly understood how good the person in front of you was. People show themselves at the end and my dad certainly did as well.
That was the kind of man he was. Caring. Kind. Loving. He wasn't scared for the end. He was only ever concerned about what would happen to us. Whether he was leaving behind enough support for us. Whether we would be financially in want after he passed. I would always tell him to stop worrying about us and just focus on getting better. Of course he never listened and still spent all of his time focused on his family but again, that's just the kind of man he was. Caring. Kind. Loving.
We start this GoFundMe in honor of our lovely dad, husband, angel of a human being. Shabib Sajid left this world with a smile on his face and having imprinted that smile on the hearts of everyone he touched. We would like to raise money to cover some small funeral expenses but to, more importantly, give to charity in his name in order to further spread his smile. I, Shahyan Sajid, his eldest son would oversee the funds be used primarily for charity towards the causes that he cared for or for the small funeral expenses still outstanding.
Our family asks that more than any donations you can make though, that you offer a prayer for his departed soul. Pray for the beautiful soul that has left us and that he be proud with everything that he left behind.
Thank you for you generosity in donations and in prayers.
Co-organizers (2)
Shahyan Sajid
Organizer
Burlington, MA
Sarim Sajid
Co-organizer