Hi everyone!

I’m writing this because the person I love, my partner Alex, has reached a point where pushing through isn’t an option anymore, and I can’t watch her get worse while pretending we can handle this on our own.

To start, in December 2018, Alex was in a severe car crash. She was rear-ended at 50–55 mph while nearly stopped or at a stop. The crash caused significant whiplash and a herniated disc in her lower back, along with lasting injury to her neck and spine. That crash was the starting point for much of what she’s been dealing with ever since. It’s been a long, slow cascade of health issues that have steadily made her life smaller and more medically complicated over the past almost seven years.

A few weeks ago, after years of debilitating migraines, neurological symptoms, pelvic pain, GI issues, unrelenting chronic pain, unexplained PEM [Post Exertional Malaise] crashes, fainting episodes, and constant medical dead ends, Alex was officially diagnosed at the Mayo Clinic with ME/CFS [Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome: a severe neuroimmune disease that leaves her stuck in cycles of pain, inflammation, dizziness, cognitive crashes, and exhaustion so intense she can barely function for days at a time] and Fibromyalgia. These are disabling, systemic illnesses that get worse when your body is forced to push beyond its limits.

Alex has been doing exactly that for years, not because she wanted to “push through,” but because that’s genuinely who she is.

Who she was before things collapsed

Before her health collapsed, Alex was always in motion. She was an athlete who enjoyed skiing, ski racing, hiking, biking, climbing, yoga, and hitting the gym. Even after the 2018 car crash, she fought hard to stay active and connected. Working 2–3 jobs at any time because she genuinely loved working. We all know that every barista, server, or bartender in town probably knew her by name. She was constantly at live shows, supporting both local and friend’s bands, building her community, and finding her people. She cooked like it was a love language, something she learned growing up, and now struggles to do even simple meals without triggering symptoms. She loved hopping between her favorite restaurants, going beach glass and agate hunting on Lake Superior, and getting to see her friends whenever she wanted.

At the same time, she was also reaching the peak of a career she was incredibly proud of. She had finally landed a sales position at a digital marketing agency she adored. It was a job she worked her butt off to get to, only to have to walk away from it in February when her body gave out. She’d been serving on two boards, co-chairing an event committee, and participating in a business networking group. Staying involved as a Rotarian, remaining on her club’s board and new event committee, are things she’s still fighting to hold onto. Even as her body continues to strip pieces of her life away.

Sadly, that version of her - the active, social, involved, deeply engaged version - has been slipping away, especially since January 2024. It’s been devastating to watch her world shrink as her body simply stops letting her live the life she built and loved.

The Endometriosis piece - another huge factor

One thing that’s made everything worse is her Endometriosis, which has been causing severe pelvic pain, bladder issues, GI flares, and symptoms that overlap and amplify her other conditions. She had surgery last year, but it wasn’t performed by a true Endometriosis specialist. The surgeon only removed a single visible spot and claimed he “got it all.” Anyone who knows Endo knows that’s just… not how it works.

Her symptoms never improved, and they actually got worse. Endo can grow back, deepen, or get missed entirely if it’s not removed by someone with specialized training.

So now, on top of everything else, she’s in the process of trying to get into an actual endometriosis specialist for a second surgery. That means more appointments, more travel, more costs, and yet another layer of stress on her body that’s already running on fumes.

Endometriosis alone can be disabling. Combined with ME/CFS and Fibro, it’s been devastating.

What Mayo told us

Mayo was blunt with us:

If she doesn’t stop overworking and start pacing now, her decline will continue.

But the real world doesn’t pause when your body gives out. Rent, bills, and medical debt don’t care that she woke up in a PEM crash, or with debilitating pain that would send most to an ER, or even worse, that she fainted that morning, etc. She’s kept working far beyond her limits because we simply haven’t been able to afford for her not to.

Why we’re asking for help

Alex has done everything right. She’s fought tooth and nail to stay functional, to stay hopeful, to stay connected, to stay herself. But this has become bigger than anything one person can push through. She deserves relief.

We’re trying to raise enough to give Alex 3–6 months where she can actually follow the treatment plan Mayo laid out, something she’s never once had the ability to do. She needs time to rest, stabilize, and prepare for the next steps in her care, including the endometriosis surgery she should have had the first time.

Your support will go toward:

- Basic living expenses so she can safely reduce work

- Past-due medical bills that are blocking access to PT and therapy

- A rollator and mobility/support devices

- Autonomic + chronic pain equipment to prevent crashes

- Meal support

- Laundry + cleaning services so I’m not burning out while also caring for her

- Travel/housing for ongoing Mayo care

- Costs related to seeing a true Endometriosis specialist for repeat surgery

- Home accommodations she needs to function safely

Chronic illness is expensive, and the system makes it even harder when someone has been dismissed or inadequately treated for years. Not to mention it’s been heartbreaking to watch her shrink her life around an illness she never asked for. We’re trying to give her a chance to rest, recover, and stop this decline before more of her life disappears.

Thank you!!

Thank you so much for your support just by reading our story!

Only if you are able, any amount would help us greatly.

OR sharing does just as much!

This is the first real chance she’s had to stabilize, and my hope is we get to give her exactly that.