As a community, we don’t talk much about Intimate Partner Violence / Domestic Violence (IPV/DV).  And when we do talk about it, our conversations are so often limited to physical and emotional abuse.

But for Black women, IPV also manifests as Systemic Violence (SV). Take for instance, the power and control that my White partner wielded by invoking threats of Police and State involvement in our Intimate Partnership--all to maintain their personal narrative of emotional and physical violence and abuse. Our identities inform how we navigate the world, and there is no separating the personal from the political for us. Our politics are intimate, and intimacy is expressed in light of those politics.  

As a Queer Black differently-abled woman, educator, artist, and activist, I carry the lived reality of generations of SV. For me, resistance to State-sanctioned terror against Black people is what I do to love myself, love my community, and stay alive.

My experience of Intimate Partner Violence intersecting with Systemic Violence has played out as follows:

From September 2013 to July 2015, I was involved in a progressively violent intimate relationship with a  GenderQueer White “Ally”. What began as IPV/DV escalated into acts of SV, with the use of The State and the Police to target and control me .

There were two instances where my abuser created a situation in which I felt physically intimidated and unable to safely leave their presence, where they then called (or had someone call on their behalf) the police to file false and/or exaggerated reports of my “violent behavior” and/or my “mental instability”. Those actions resulted in my being placed under arrest, my being forcibly removed and assaulted by the Police, and my being detained on a psychiatric hold against my will.

I have found the strength, and some support, to distance myself from my abuser, but there has been little I can do to protect myself from their patterns of violence, without community and financial support. My abuser has enlisted the support of The State to terrorize me: filing two additional false and/or exaggerated Police reports, citing “harassment” and feeling “unsafe” when I had been intentionally out of contact with them, and requesting boundaries that they then violated. They then used the false reports as evidence of abuse and violence towards them when urging the Alameda County District Attorney to secure a Criminal Restraining Order and charges of Battery and Assault against me.  

As a result of this abuse and the resulting trauma, I’ve lost my housing and have been unable to work consistently due to my efforts to create safe(r) spaces for myself and avoid my abuser. Because of the arrest and conviction of violent charges, I’m no longer able to pass background checks in a timely manner, prohibiting my ability to find work in my chosen field. Additionally, this abuse has caused an accrual of over $20,000 in financial obligation from bail, psychiatric detention, court/legal fees, and lost wages.

I am healing: working at moving on, rebuilding my life and my sense of safety in community, creating art, teaching, writing, and finding ways be in conversation and work towards transformative solutions, and building restorative responses, to IPV/DV and SV.

I have come to know that sometimes “moving on” looks like taking the time to stand still, and build. Part of recovery, healing, and addressing this kind of abuse and trauma must lie in building community resources, networks, and responses that work to safeguard, protect, counsel, and give support and assistance to survivors, those peripherally impacted community members, AND instigators, as we find ways and outlets to de-escalate trauma and fear, and embrace the full scope of our humanity in times of crisis.

This healing and recovery requires a depth of commitment to transformation--of the self, and of our community: this healing, this recovery, needs community support.

And so, today, I am standing still AND moving on. I am...

Calling for love.
Calling for TruthTelling.
Calling for solidarity.
Calling for support.
Calling for community building.
Calling for justice.
Calling for liberation.
Calling for healing.

I’m asking for community support to mitigate the over $20,000 in debt that has been accrued, to help me get the legal support that I so urgently need, and to support my efforts to build community projects that facilitate conversation around Alternative, Transformative, and Restorative Justice processes.

I am inviting you to be part of this process--my process--of coming to accountability, growth, and community-building; of healing, recovery, and restoration; and of getting to free.

Projects & Being in Touch

Facebook: Elle Black

Twitter: @TheFuriousFemme