Hello, my name is Silas and I'm fundraising to get back on my feet!

Who am I and what happened to me?

I'm Silas, a 22 y/o boy who loves inlineskating, gaming, philosophizing and cooking!!!! [urghh, yess, even in my desperation and sorrow I'm a human with hobbies and life!!!!]

I'm from a poor social background,

my parents did make do with whatever they had at hand, and conjured a homeliving.

That meant homecooked but sparse meals, and only occasionally new things (...),

New clothes only once a year and then the cheapest that held up from the H&M and the likes, they still kept somewhat warm luckily!

Some real struggle too, like arguments about food and money :

Once I put my plate 3/4 full with dinner, [not particularly expensive dinner at that if I remember correctly, not any big meats, just salad and potatoes and something fried or something else of sustenance, I don't remember, tho I usually make a point of remembering food since it wasn't granted growing up, one of my faves : Chillie Con Carne :)) ],

anyways I take my humble plate and my mother starts lashing out at me how I'm taking such a big plate(rly she almost meant any plate at all) and she's screaming and yelling at me in a really derogatory way about me taking my food!!!!!! ALL IN GERMAN TOO!!!!! BTW

So I pause, being used to this sudden rage at times, and ask her why she doesn't mind my brother taking a larger plate than me at all, and her very literate and very meant response was, that he was attending school and I wasn't, and therefore he deserved food and I didn't!!

This happened later on but these kinda arguments were had all throughout my childhood, me often being the black sheep and my brother a beacon of purity in my parents eyes(...).

Once I went to school with NO BREAKFAST, NOR LUNCH, NOR ANY FOOD OR ANYTHING, [as almost always was the case, I only realized later in life that that's not fucking normal], and I came home to a pretty empty fridge, so I grabbed the only thing looking of sustenance, a block of feta, and cut half off of it to start getting anything in my hurting stomach for the day, and my mother started screaming at me again for taking such a LARGE(half) PIECE OF FETA!!!

With hurting stomach and lightheaded from the lack of food I still argued with her! Only thing I knew.

I lived in the, from the previous owners, mold infested room of our apartment, and sometimes my brain dazed off trying to do homework or think straight at all.

Some fun living was had too!

I saved my ENTIRE Christmas and Birthday and Pocketmoney budget for two-and-a-half years to finally, FINALLY afford a PC! SELF-BUILT! 8)

And my mom taught me skating when I was little. :)

My Dad lived away in another country and came to visits now and then, my mom had to single handedly raise 5 children for the largest time in my life!

ALWAYS having me at the backburner and SCREAMING at me for a release of her stress!!!! [from dealing with 5 mouths to feed on no real income!!]

There's much more sorrow, screaming, struggle and fights to my story like the ones mentioned above.

I'm keeping it short to guard myself.

Fast forward to today, my parents sent me off with no real education and not in prime health either[due to the fear of increased insurance costs if I actually attended any extra, but much needed health checkups, such as dentists],

and I'm couchsurfing or makeshift surviving in random,

cold-at-night forests, and my possessions can be summed up in two bags(picture above), one of food and one of clothes, then some utilities, I do have something to draw!

Life is limited like this, I need to fight for survival, money, groceries.

I WANNA LIVE LIFE IN FULL! :,D

I WANT TO WAKE UP RESTED AND PUT MY TUMMY FULL OF FOOD I LOVE!

Then go skating throughout the day and return for a delicious dinner and eventually settle down to a cup of tea and a movie or some browsing/gaming on a real computer again!! :P

Before I drift away in dreamland!

I am on the lookout for a supermarket position, but I need to finance life in a hospitable way before starting there.

There is a standing appointment to get myself a "BSN", basically a document here in the netherlands which could get me started working retail earliest in 5 weeks with the wait of an application and the documents procedure.

Donations could afford me some place to stay, dignity and a life rythm to get back on my feet!

I can already imagine the scent of having a warm meal in front of me again, and no more cold canned beans. :P

I'm really looking and hoping for 4-6 comfortable months out here, in which I would,

starting day 1, get off of the edge of society inbetween the road and random couches,

continuing day 20, feel like a full fledged human again, watch Indian kids sell magic water for pennies on youtube ;;)) , maybe go skating or grab takeout, and

summiting day 100 have something to show for in terms of self-sustaining, a real job!