Get Better Soon, Pony♥️

Hi friends and family and perhaps even a stranger. My name is Mackenzie. I am battling a mental health crisis. I have hit rock bottom. I have taken a leave from work as recommended by my providers. While this might have been manageable otherwise, it most certainly is not while we now have a mortgage. Not working is not really an option. But I cannot work yet. I am hopeful to go back, but I need some time to heal myself, my family. And unfortunately we need help. I potentially have some disability coming, however, because this has been a slow unraveling, over the last few months, after the eviction and subsequent house hunting and failed offers, Jeff has had to take the brunt of home duties and child duties and wasnt able to get as many clients. We had a savings but it was needed to get into the house. Our parents have helped us tremendously. I kept working, even while red flags were probably flying high, because we needed every last penny to get into this house, a home, that we will never be evicted from.

Timing is never chosen. It is what it is. My breakdown couldn't be more terribly timed. And my disorder explains so much and yet I know nothing. I have a long way to go. I need at least 4 weeks to gain back my ability to cope. And ideally go back to work. It has been 2 weeks now. I am praying that 2 more weeks will be enough to repair what has been broken.

My husband, Jeff, will ultimately hate that I made this. He is a hard worker and he has been bearing the weight of the kids, all household duties and working when he can. He wants us to do this alone and on our own. I also want that. But I cannot figure out how to make up for my leave of absence, which is deemed medically necessary.

I have a case in for disability. And an email into the State for resources if I qualify.

I am hopeful to get something from these. But we don't have enough time. I would even gladly pay you back. I can't work yet.

We indeed have been blessed with a new home and all of that joy has still existed. But to say my situation hasn't dampened it, would be a lie. The piles of guilt are plenty high.

I have a Psychiatrist. I have a Counselor. I have a PCP. I have acupuncture. I have massage. And chiropractor still covered by insurance.

I am working on a plan...it evolves every day.

I am constantly advocating for myself. I make calls, emails, Follow-up and make every appointment I set. I want to get better. I will get better.

The Daumens are very reluctant to say they need a little push to get over the hump here. We are grateful for anything.♥️♥️♥️

Equally helpful would be childcare when we don't have it already, so that Jeff can work and I can make appointments.

Thanks for reading...

Mackenzie (Pony)