Gender Affirming Top Surgery for my son Jake

Our goal:
To raise enough money to pay for top surgery (a double mastectomy) for my son, Jake. 

For those who prefer to listen... :)
https://youtu.be/qrLealbVih4

Our story:

Hi, my name is Sandra and Jake is my son.

 

Jake is male. He was born with a body that indicates otherwise.

Jake realized he was "different" at an early age. I remember him talking about how he didn't fit in with the girls at elementary school and how he hated what they wore and what they were interested in. He wanted to play with the boys and do "boy things," but they wouldn't let him join them because he was a girl. Jake loved sweatpants and camo, bugs and getting dirty. He did not enjoy dresses or girl clothing and preferred shopping for his clothes in the boy's department. "Their stuff is waaaaaay cooler."

 

Jake loved soccer, swimming, going to the beach, and playing volleyball and he wanted to play on a hockey team so badly. He was always active and barely sat still. He excelled in school (honours).

 

Puberty was devastating.

 

As Jake's body began to develop female features, his demeanour changed. He became depressed, suicidal, angry, and withdrawn. He hated his body, hated what was happening to it, and begged for it to stop. He wished his life would end, and tried to end it himself. He hurt himself physically to try and manage the pain he felt inside. Puberty was the beginning of his dysphoric nightmare.

 

In February 2021, Jake declared out loud that he was transgender. He is a male trapped inside a female body. He has a masculine haircut and wardrobe (has for a long time now), but some aspects of his physical form cannot be hidden. Binding is painful, and you cannot play sports when bound. It can be dangerous.

 

With the help of medical and mental health professionals, Jake is starting to receive the care he needs to live his authentic life. He has started taking low-dose testosterone and his voice is getting deeper. He's smiling a little more.

 

The biggest struggle that Jake faces right now is his bust. Sadly, Jake was destined to develop a large bust, which has profoundly impacted him. The dysphoria that Jake battles every day has been life-threatening. He no longer goes out. He no longer plays sports. He no longer goes swimming. He hides in his room in the summer because his body tells the world that he is not who he says he is. He suffers from severe anxiety, and his grades have tanked. He cannot focus on anything outside of the pain he is feeling.

 

Jake has suffered much rejection due to his gender identity, and he just wants to look as masculine as he feels. His hope is that with chest masculinization/gender-affirming therapy (aka Top Surgery), he can finally begin to present himself to the world as the young man he knows he is.

 

Our Problem:

Covid resulted in significant wait times for "unnecessary" medical procedures. Sadly, the world does not deem gender-affirming care "necessary." The wait times for top surgery in our province (Manitoba) are 1 to 2 years, which feels like an eternity to Jake. When faced with waiting another two years to be free to live his life, the despair he feels seems unbeatable.

 

We have managed to find a plastic surgeon in another province that will provide top surgery within a few months of the initial consultation, but the cost is out-of-pocket, and starts at $10,622. (Add in travel, lodging, meals, etc. and that cost increases rapidly). I simply do not have that kind of money. I may be able to cover a portion of that expense, but I won't be able to fund it all without significant (if not catastrophic) financial impacts.

 

I struggle with asking for help. My pride tells me that it's wrong. My heart tells me that I need to do this for Jake. I don't want to sentence him to another two years in his current prison. It is my hope that people might be willing to contribute even a few dollars to help me get Jake to where he needs to be.

 

I know times are tough for so many. I really get it. If you are able to spare a little bit, it would mean the world to us, and if not - no worries. We'd just ask if you would mind sharing our story with your friends.

 

Note: If I can secure provincial funding for this procedure, or if we cannot raise enough to proceed, I am committed to giving the money back to its rightful owners or paying it forward to another transgender youth in need. I don't want to make money on this, I just want to help my son.

 

Thank you for your consideration.

 

Much love,

Sandra and Jake