Please help me lay my mother to rest

To whomever is reading this, I am begging for your help.

On July 8th, I woke up to the news that my mother was found dead in her home. I was told by the medical examiner that she died due to heart complications. While I have yet to receive the full report from the examiner, but I was informed by both the examiner and the funeral home that she is not viewable. This is all I can share at this moment. I can’t talk about it without having a full meltdown.

As you can imagine, i’m not okay and would rather not do all the things a person has to do when someone dies, but I don’t have the luxury of being able to process everything at my leisure, that comes later. As of right now, i’m faced with having to make a public service announcement about her death. So,

Friends, Family, Community,

We are faced with laying to rest our beloved Janine Laura Goetz.

It’s going to take a village and I am asking for your help. If you knew her, I am asking for your help. If she fed and cared for you when you needed her, im asking for your help. If you called her a friend at any point, I am asking for your help. If you claim to have any love for the person she is/was, I am asking for your help.

When I was little, my mother was courageous enough to move to Florida to escape volatile circumstances she faced in NJ. At 26, she moved her entire life across the country with a 5 year old. She was a young woman who just lost her parents the year before and pushed all of that to the side to care for me; to give me the best life that she could.

But one thing her soul was blessed with was the ability to make community wherever she landed. I watched as my mother crafted community around us. Neighbors became family, friends became family, anyone willing to share a bite to eat and the burden of survival became family. Lineage didn’t matter. I had everything a normal child with a family had, people who loved and cared for me. Its the reason why to this day I stress how important my friends are. “Love thy neighbor” is instinct, and asking for help when it’s needed is the lesson I learned from her. Wasn’t it Dumbledore who said “help is always provided to those who ask”?

So now here i am, 28, no money, struggling to pay the bills necessary to live and needing to come up with funds to cremate her. Since she can’t be seen, there is no point in paying for a casket etc. because I don’t have that luxury. And since, she wanted to be put with her parents who are not buried in FL, cremating becomes the best possible option. So I am once again asking for your help family, community, friends, neighbors.

I predicted I need around $3,500 to cover arrangements/costs. Included in this total are: expenses for the safety and wellbeing of her pets, funds to keep her storage unit from becoming delinquent until i can clear it out, and money for travel expenses to take her to her preferred place of rest.

In the next couple of weeks, i’m planning to host a celebration of life for her. I know she wouldn’t want a depressing funeral. She would want her family to come together, share some food, laugh, and remember that we are in this world trying to survive together. Please share this with your audiences and please respect my privacy at this time as i process grief. I love you, she loves you, and we will all come out this stronger.