Help me get out of a toxic situation.

I’m not one to ask for help. Yes, as much as I like to complain and whine about money, that’s the fullest extent of it. I never SERIOUSLY ask for money or assistance from any of my friends unless it’s TRULY needed because that’s not the kind of relationship I want to have with them, nor do I want them to think that I just keep them around for financial purposes. However, for once, I am asking for legitimate and urgent help. For the past year, I’ve been screwed over by job after job, sickness after sickness, and it’s taking a toll on not only my physical health, but also my mental health as well. I am trapped in a situation where I don’t find any other way out if I don’t at least try to ask others for assistance.

As many of you know, I moved into a new apartment with my best friend last June. This apartment was nicer than the one I was living in at the time, but more expensive. I thought, “It’ll be alright, I’m making enough money to pay for it~” And that stayed true for a little bit. After December 2021, my job without warning cut my hours in half. I was going from making more than enough to pay for rent to barely enough to feed myself within a couple of months. I ended up having to ask my father for financial assistance month after month, to the point where I even ran him dry. I feel awful still. To this day, I am still recovering and scraping up pennies and dimes to make ends meet from it. I left my old job and decided to work at a newly opened restaurant just down the road. While it paid slightly higher, I still was struggling. It wasn’t even a matter of me just being stupid with my money, it was a matter of simply not getting paid enough to live a normal life.

Not only is my financial state at its lowest, but so is my mental health. My boss at the new job is awful to my co-workers and I. The restaurant is disgusting. There are rats and roaches, things that are safety and health issues that haven’t been resolved since I started working here in August of 2022. I moved to New York to pursue my dream as a young dancer. Once Covid hit, I no longer found love in dancing and turned to the online entertainment industry to feed my love for making people happy. Now that I don’t dance, I have no reason to live in New York. It is an extremely expensive city, and I don't even get to go out and make the most of living here because I simply do not get paid enough and cannot afford to go outside and live the normal life of a young adult. I have to keep requesting financial aid, and hardly make rent, let alone bills and other living expenses. There are days where I have had to skip meals just to save money to make ends meet.

If that wasn't enough to deal with, there is someone at my job who has given off predatory and stalking vibes. Asking my age, coming in every day and asking if I am working, giving me gifts with handwritten notes with my name in it, asking me out on dates despite me mentioning on multiple occasions that I am in a relationship. My co-worker had mentioned to me that he runs a polyamorous group of girls in their early to mid-twenties, and mind you, he looks to be about in his forties/fifties. I don't want it to become a situation of him figuring out when I get into work and leave, and something unthinkable happening. I've tried to switch my hours around but it doesn't work. He comes in every day and solely asks for me. Thankfully, my co-workers know better and don't disclose any information about me, as well as I don't disclose any info myself.

With all of that being said, I HAVE to move. Sooner rather than later. I mentally cannot stand to stay here anymore. I have exhausted all possible options. If you try to think of a solution, I've tried it. Nothing works. If I am going to be extremely blunt, it’s taking a toll on my will to live. I’ve been offered a place to stay with my boyfriend, and at this point, it’s my best option. By moving, I can find a better job, be able to afford rent due to the cost being more than $1,000 cheaper than where I am now, and focus more on what I am dreaming of doing: content creation for you guys.

This money would be going towards moving expenses, as well as whatever rest of rent that I owe for the rest of the lease. This means none of the money would be going towards anything but rent, living expenses, and moving. I hope mentioning this will help people feel more inclined to donate as it wouldn't just be fling money. I will keep the money here until I need it for the 3 things mentions above.

Once again, out of all the times that I haven’t asked for assistance, I hope that this one time that I do, there will be someone out there who is willing to help. And when I say anything helps, I mean it. Spend what you can/are ABLE TO. I don’t wish anyone to end up in the same situation I am in currently. Even just retweeting, boosting, sending this to friends and family, anything is enough~ I love you all, and I’m sorry I have to ask this way.