This Covid 19 Experience Has Changed Our Life!
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Hello everyone my name is Danielle, I am a single mom of two amazing daughters. My oldest daughter is twenty and my youngest is going to be fifteen in thirteen days. Through these 20 years we have had our share of ups and downs and have always made it out on the other side with many lessons and valuable relationships along the way. I am sure that all of us have been touched in some way by the pandemic over the last couple of years and our family is facing many hurdles at the moment which is not uncommon for the times we are facing.
Over the last eleven years I have had the opportunity to rise and show my children just how fortunate they are and how others that may be going through hard times need understanding. The start of our journey was being homeless for the first time ever, it was a very unsettling time and I had so many emotions but, we were fortunate enough to get into a shelter and after being there in transitional housing for two years we were able to secure housing. In 2010 we were faced with our first hurdle when we were out trick or treating and my little one after thirty minutes was just not feeling great, she pushed through going door to door with her sister who was so excited to be out trick or treating in her snow white costume (the little was dressed as an apple). Once we got back to the shelter my little one had a seizure, scared to death I scooped her up and off to the hospital we went where she preceded to have twenty additional seizures over the next twenty four hours. After a CT scan I was informed that they found a tumor in her brain. I was terrified, we were able to control the seizures somewhat over the next seven months but, with each seizure she would lose time in her memories. I could not work during this time as I could not find someone that felt comfortable to care for her while I went to work. The doctors informed me that through our efforts of diet changes and medication her tumor was shrinking on its own without surgery or chemo therapy. She grew as we realized the tumor was around her hypothalamus and inhibiting her growth hormone which is why she was so tiny. She never stopped being an adventurous little girl despite all of these struggles. We now go through yearly CT scans and we enjoy every moment as the doctors have all told us that we need monitor her very carefully and they have no idea how long she will be with us. She struggles with cognitive issues and impulse control, we live everyday and she grows more and more.
I was so blessed to meet one amazing woman at the shelter who was also a single mom of five and as we became friends we made a choice to raise our kids together. We moved into an apartment, all of the kids got along and we fell into a flow that worked and we offered each other support. This allowed me to go back to work as she was comfortable taking care of my little one. I went out searching for work and was lucky enough to secure employment with a fabulous small family owned business despite the gap in my employment. For six years I provided for our blended family and our kids were happy, healthy and it was amazing. Then our next hurdle came when I was diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure and almost died on y way home from work. I knew I was not well but, kept pushing through and not listening to my body because I had a family to support. Nine days in the hospital and after I was able to go back to work some changes had to happen as I had a very intense position. My employer went above and beyond to accommodate my health issues but, it came to point where I had to leave because I was not able to perform my position as I had done in the past and I did not want the business to suffer. I found another position close to home and then Covid happened. I was working for an essential business and the hours were long, employee issues and the stress became overwhelming and I had to leave that position. During this time my friend found the love of her life and as our household grew we realized that we were growing in different ways and she was well on her way to get married.
In December 2020 my youngest daughter was having some mental health issues and she was very stressed. Her older sister had moved out into her own apartment and the separation anxiety was too much for her to handle. She felt lost and even with therapy she started speaking with people online and was putting herself in some scary situations. I made the choice to helicopter parent her as I needed to be able to know what she was doing. While out with her friends she went to a house where they all had Covid and she got sick. Her and I spent that Christmas in quarantine away from everyone and it was hard watching how it took such an emotional toll on her. I was able to secure a space for her at a behavioral health center as she was making unsafe choices and had become very aggressive, these changes prompted an additional CT scan as major behavioral changes is a sign that the tumor maybe growing again. In this CT scan we found that she had a twisted hippocampus in her brain which controls impulse and this was the reason why she was so volatile at this time. She was at the behavioral health center for six months and graduated from the program with so many new skills and she was so happy to come home, the only issue was that she needed to be in an environment where there was less going on and she could be less stressed. I had just started a new position before she was supposed to come home and I made the decision to remove her from the busy household of thirteen people and get an apartment. This was a huge undertaking and financially I struggled but, was able to secure an apartment in a different area as I wanted her to have a fresh start and not be drawn back to friends who had influenced her in a negative way. This move made me realize that I had nothing to furnish an apartment and she was coming home in a week. I didn't have the funds to go and buy furniture so I did the next best thing and went to Aarons to rent furniture.
I was fortunate to work for an awesome company that allowed her to come to work with me as she suffers from separation anxiety and being in a new place by herself was an adjustment. They allowed her to do small things and paid her to help out, set up a computer and a cubicle for her to complete her school work while I was working. We were coming into the holiday season and she was used to family traditions, shopping for everyone and the spirit of the season. This year was very different as I was having to pay all bills on my own and not having a steady flow of cash like I had in the past it was eye opening. On December 20, 2021 we were informed by other workers that we had been exposed to Covid, two days later she could barely get out of bed. Tests confirmed we both tested positive and were in quarantine and would miss Christmas festivities again. I was in such financial hardship we had no Christmas tree, decorations or presents and were so sick but, we watched movies, video chatted with family and friends and moved through it. Due to Covid issues the position I had ended as the business was struggling with Covid issues and losing money. Here I found myself again without employment and a fear of what I was going to do. The end of January we finally were over being sick and I was looking for work again, she was going to school online and moving forward. Since we were better a few friends came to visit and the second week of February we both started feeling sick again. A family friend let us know they had not realized that they had been exposed to Covid and did not know when they came to visit. This time was horrible and I ended up in the hospital where the doctors informed that I was in stage 4 congestive heart failure. I spent weeks struggling to get out bed, the fluid building up around my heart was terrible. Meanwhile, the bills are piling up and I had to make the decision to use the savings I had set aside for my little ones 15th birthday party.
Family and friends have helped me immensely but, we are all going through hard times. My oldest daughter has been so inspiring as she works in the healthcare field, and she is such an incredibly strong person. She has helped us so much even when her life was hectic and she was going through some major issues after being sexually assaulted and waiting three years to receive justice for this act and sacrificing so much waiting for trial. She continued to move through college and had to sacrifice a trip abroad while waiting for the trial to begin. We were all ready for her to spend three months in Paris studying art. Even through all of it she kept smiling and just changed her field of study and moved into healthcare. She will be heading on her first adventure in four weeks to visit Arizona and she is super excited. She put this trip off for six months because she helped me with making ends meet.
Over the last three weeks I had to return my furniture which was very stressful for my daughter and a gentle reminder that we do not have to furniture and we will get through it. I also had to let my car go as I could not afford the payments. This time has taught me that resources are stretched so thin right now, I have reached out to all the agencies and spend my days looking for work and trying to find a way to help with the bills that are starting to compile now. I have drained my savings and as my daughters birthday approaches knowing that we may lose our home is beyond stressful and taking an emotional toll on me. I am enrolled to start college in the fall to work on my bachelors degree in business management. It is heartbreaking to know that so many people are having such a tough time making ends meet. I was unable to pay rent this month and my landlord is beyond wonderful by working out a payment plan with me but, without some plan to bring income in I worry what is going to happen on the first of July! Being in this position reminds me of how truly blessed I am but, not being able to meet my families basic needs is so disheartening. I know that I am able to get back on my feet with some assistance and will be able to move forward.
The pandemic has turned the whole world upside down and I pray that everyone affected by this while so many people are struggling. I have been fortunate in the fact that there is a huge community around us and I spend time helping others struggling to be successful and get back on their feet. My kids have so much heart and they spend their time helping others and even though they know that they may not have everything they will always give whatever they can to make sure others have what they need. Whatever help we receive will be spent on securing our home, paying utilities , keeping phone and internet , furniture (especially a bed for my little one, clothes and shoes as a birthday present , hopefully get a vehicle in the event we have to leave our home, pay off credit card bills and repay some personal loans for those who helped me and are now struggling.
It is so hard to know that there are so many programs but, not enough funding. Going through these trials have given me the drive to get changes in how funding programs work and distribute. There are so many nuances that so many people get lost in the shuffle and if you are not aware of where to go and how to apply you suffer, our country has so many beautiful souls that are case managers but, they can't be everywhere and right now so much staffing shortages it has made finding available programs and guidance extremely difficult. Just knowing that giving can change someone's life and catapult them into self-sufficiency and productive is the most uplifting feeling. This has been hard to write, putting my struggles out there and to ask for help is a difficult but empowering feeling. At this time I need a hand up to help me get back to where I need to be.
Thank you for reading this and I hope that everyone is living their best life and cherishing every moment. I am thankful every moment of everyday for all of things that I have been blessed with and all of the things I have to look forward to in the future! I spend time reflecting on how blessed we are and what our future holds!
Over the last eleven years I have had the opportunity to rise and show my children just how fortunate they are and how others that may be going through hard times need understanding. The start of our journey was being homeless for the first time ever, it was a very unsettling time and I had so many emotions but, we were fortunate enough to get into a shelter and after being there in transitional housing for two years we were able to secure housing. In 2010 we were faced with our first hurdle when we were out trick or treating and my little one after thirty minutes was just not feeling great, she pushed through going door to door with her sister who was so excited to be out trick or treating in her snow white costume (the little was dressed as an apple). Once we got back to the shelter my little one had a seizure, scared to death I scooped her up and off to the hospital we went where she preceded to have twenty additional seizures over the next twenty four hours. After a CT scan I was informed that they found a tumor in her brain. I was terrified, we were able to control the seizures somewhat over the next seven months but, with each seizure she would lose time in her memories. I could not work during this time as I could not find someone that felt comfortable to care for her while I went to work. The doctors informed me that through our efforts of diet changes and medication her tumor was shrinking on its own without surgery or chemo therapy. She grew as we realized the tumor was around her hypothalamus and inhibiting her growth hormone which is why she was so tiny. She never stopped being an adventurous little girl despite all of these struggles. We now go through yearly CT scans and we enjoy every moment as the doctors have all told us that we need monitor her very carefully and they have no idea how long she will be with us. She struggles with cognitive issues and impulse control, we live everyday and she grows more and more.
I was so blessed to meet one amazing woman at the shelter who was also a single mom of five and as we became friends we made a choice to raise our kids together. We moved into an apartment, all of the kids got along and we fell into a flow that worked and we offered each other support. This allowed me to go back to work as she was comfortable taking care of my little one. I went out searching for work and was lucky enough to secure employment with a fabulous small family owned business despite the gap in my employment. For six years I provided for our blended family and our kids were happy, healthy and it was amazing. Then our next hurdle came when I was diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure and almost died on y way home from work. I knew I was not well but, kept pushing through and not listening to my body because I had a family to support. Nine days in the hospital and after I was able to go back to work some changes had to happen as I had a very intense position. My employer went above and beyond to accommodate my health issues but, it came to point where I had to leave because I was not able to perform my position as I had done in the past and I did not want the business to suffer. I found another position close to home and then Covid happened. I was working for an essential business and the hours were long, employee issues and the stress became overwhelming and I had to leave that position. During this time my friend found the love of her life and as our household grew we realized that we were growing in different ways and she was well on her way to get married.
In December 2020 my youngest daughter was having some mental health issues and she was very stressed. Her older sister had moved out into her own apartment and the separation anxiety was too much for her to handle. She felt lost and even with therapy she started speaking with people online and was putting herself in some scary situations. I made the choice to helicopter parent her as I needed to be able to know what she was doing. While out with her friends she went to a house where they all had Covid and she got sick. Her and I spent that Christmas in quarantine away from everyone and it was hard watching how it took such an emotional toll on her. I was able to secure a space for her at a behavioral health center as she was making unsafe choices and had become very aggressive, these changes prompted an additional CT scan as major behavioral changes is a sign that the tumor maybe growing again. In this CT scan we found that she had a twisted hippocampus in her brain which controls impulse and this was the reason why she was so volatile at this time. She was at the behavioral health center for six months and graduated from the program with so many new skills and she was so happy to come home, the only issue was that she needed to be in an environment where there was less going on and she could be less stressed. I had just started a new position before she was supposed to come home and I made the decision to remove her from the busy household of thirteen people and get an apartment. This was a huge undertaking and financially I struggled but, was able to secure an apartment in a different area as I wanted her to have a fresh start and not be drawn back to friends who had influenced her in a negative way. This move made me realize that I had nothing to furnish an apartment and she was coming home in a week. I didn't have the funds to go and buy furniture so I did the next best thing and went to Aarons to rent furniture.
I was fortunate to work for an awesome company that allowed her to come to work with me as she suffers from separation anxiety and being in a new place by herself was an adjustment. They allowed her to do small things and paid her to help out, set up a computer and a cubicle for her to complete her school work while I was working. We were coming into the holiday season and she was used to family traditions, shopping for everyone and the spirit of the season. This year was very different as I was having to pay all bills on my own and not having a steady flow of cash like I had in the past it was eye opening. On December 20, 2021 we were informed by other workers that we had been exposed to Covid, two days later she could barely get out of bed. Tests confirmed we both tested positive and were in quarantine and would miss Christmas festivities again. I was in such financial hardship we had no Christmas tree, decorations or presents and were so sick but, we watched movies, video chatted with family and friends and moved through it. Due to Covid issues the position I had ended as the business was struggling with Covid issues and losing money. Here I found myself again without employment and a fear of what I was going to do. The end of January we finally were over being sick and I was looking for work again, she was going to school online and moving forward. Since we were better a few friends came to visit and the second week of February we both started feeling sick again. A family friend let us know they had not realized that they had been exposed to Covid and did not know when they came to visit. This time was horrible and I ended up in the hospital where the doctors informed that I was in stage 4 congestive heart failure. I spent weeks struggling to get out bed, the fluid building up around my heart was terrible. Meanwhile, the bills are piling up and I had to make the decision to use the savings I had set aside for my little ones 15th birthday party.
Family and friends have helped me immensely but, we are all going through hard times. My oldest daughter has been so inspiring as she works in the healthcare field, and she is such an incredibly strong person. She has helped us so much even when her life was hectic and she was going through some major issues after being sexually assaulted and waiting three years to receive justice for this act and sacrificing so much waiting for trial. She continued to move through college and had to sacrifice a trip abroad while waiting for the trial to begin. We were all ready for her to spend three months in Paris studying art. Even through all of it she kept smiling and just changed her field of study and moved into healthcare. She will be heading on her first adventure in four weeks to visit Arizona and she is super excited. She put this trip off for six months because she helped me with making ends meet.
Over the last three weeks I had to return my furniture which was very stressful for my daughter and a gentle reminder that we do not have to furniture and we will get through it. I also had to let my car go as I could not afford the payments. This time has taught me that resources are stretched so thin right now, I have reached out to all the agencies and spend my days looking for work and trying to find a way to help with the bills that are starting to compile now. I have drained my savings and as my daughters birthday approaches knowing that we may lose our home is beyond stressful and taking an emotional toll on me. I am enrolled to start college in the fall to work on my bachelors degree in business management. It is heartbreaking to know that so many people are having such a tough time making ends meet. I was unable to pay rent this month and my landlord is beyond wonderful by working out a payment plan with me but, without some plan to bring income in I worry what is going to happen on the first of July! Being in this position reminds me of how truly blessed I am but, not being able to meet my families basic needs is so disheartening. I know that I am able to get back on my feet with some assistance and will be able to move forward.
The pandemic has turned the whole world upside down and I pray that everyone affected by this while so many people are struggling. I have been fortunate in the fact that there is a huge community around us and I spend time helping others struggling to be successful and get back on their feet. My kids have so much heart and they spend their time helping others and even though they know that they may not have everything they will always give whatever they can to make sure others have what they need. Whatever help we receive will be spent on securing our home, paying utilities , keeping phone and internet , furniture (especially a bed for my little one, clothes and shoes as a birthday present , hopefully get a vehicle in the event we have to leave our home, pay off credit card bills and repay some personal loans for those who helped me and are now struggling.
It is so hard to know that there are so many programs but, not enough funding. Going through these trials have given me the drive to get changes in how funding programs work and distribute. There are so many nuances that so many people get lost in the shuffle and if you are not aware of where to go and how to apply you suffer, our country has so many beautiful souls that are case managers but, they can't be everywhere and right now so much staffing shortages it has made finding available programs and guidance extremely difficult. Just knowing that giving can change someone's life and catapult them into self-sufficiency and productive is the most uplifting feeling. This has been hard to write, putting my struggles out there and to ask for help is a difficult but empowering feeling. At this time I need a hand up to help me get back to where I need to be.
Thank you for reading this and I hope that everyone is living their best life and cherishing every moment. I am thankful every moment of everyday for all of things that I have been blessed with and all of the things I have to look forward to in the future! I spend time reflecting on how blessed we are and what our future holds!
Organizer
Danielle McCallister
Organizer
Vancouver, WA