Gabriela Selena Tait Burial Expense
Donation protected
On Jan 12, 2017, Gabriela Selena Tait came back into our lives, after six years of running the streets in and around Washington DC. At 21 years of age, Gabi had felt it was a time for change, time to escape the drugs, and time to come home. She was with us 11 weeks before succumbing to the demons again. We found my baby girl last Saturday morning. She had gone to a place where she would no longer face the pains of withdraw, or have to deal with the anxiety of locating her next fix. She had moved on to a better place.
Gabi came to us to clean herself up, to get away from the drugs and to get her life in order, to get back on track to do the great things we all thought she was capable of. We thought that is what was happening. Gabi rebuilt her connections with her sister Kelley and brother Chris, re-bonded with my wife Rhonda, and had successfully started to break thru barriers I had emplaced when she abandoned us so long before. She had applied for employment at local places just the week prior, and had long term plans to move in with, and marry, her boyfriend and soulmate, David. We had plans to attend the Ringling Brothers Circus last week, as well as the upcoming NASCAR weekend at Richmond. We had accepted David, and he would be doing these events, and more, with us as family. That is all a distant memory now.
Years ago, Gabi had felt that I somehow loved her less, as our family grew, first with a new wife, then with a new brother and sister. She didn’t understand that she was always going to be my baby girl no matter how many people I had to share my love with. She decided that living in a household with rules, was not to her liking, and that surely things would be better at her mom’s place. So, she took her things and moved out, content to not look back. I had hoped that she would find herself, correct things, and come home, before she was hurt too bad to do so.
She avoided me for most of those years. Initially, to stand her ground, but then later on, maybe, to avoid the inevitable “I told you so” speech she felt I would lay on her. We only talked a couple of times, but I kept track of her thru social media and her family up there. For the first few years, my profile was blocked, but I created a fake profile of one of her friends, and would follow her that way.
Gabi never found what she was looking for up there and eventually turned to drugs, and then harder drugs, to take her to places where things were more to her liking. She knows I was adamant about avoiding illegal drugs, and maybe that strengthened her resolve to stay away from us. She thought she had burned the bonds between us, and then she did burn the bonds of her friends up there. They grew tired of assisting her in her downfall, and slowly, she was left with almost no one to turn to.
Then this past summer, we experienced a miracle. Rhonda, the kids and I had gone to DC to spend the weekend. We went to the Smithsonian, for their first time, and then headed down the Mall, to see the Washington Monument. As we were about to cross the street, a pickup drove by, in the lane furthest away from us. Someone shouted “Dad, Dad” and waved. Though I had absolutely no idea whom they were calling out to, I nonchalantly waved back. A minute later, my phone rang, it was Gabi. In a city the size of DC, on the only day I had been there in years, at an area as busy as the Mall, Gabi somehow looked out of the window at the exact moment required to spot me in the crowd.
The tone of the phone call was guarded on both our parts. She was running to grab her friend’s paycheck, but would return to the Monument shortly. We waited a while, a long while, but then determined we needed to do other things, so I called her again and asked her to meet us at our hotel room when she was able. A couple of hours later, Gabi and David, came to visit. We all had a great time. Afterwards, Gabi knew she would be welcome to return to us. She friended me on Facebook, and we started to talk more. She even talked to Rhonda.
When she hit rock-bottom in early January, she knew where to turn, and came home.
When Gabi arrived, she was sluggish, at best. Her mom had driven her here while she slipped in and out of sleep. But, she found the energy to come inside. She arrived with nothing but the close on her back and a lighter or two. She slept for all but a couple hours over the next few days. She didn’t eat or drink much, but if she was awake, she was with us. I purchased a few clothing items, fresh fruit and sweet tea for her, as well as cigarettes, believing them to be a great deal better than some of her other choices. Ten days later, her clothes arrived. Maybe 10 large garbage bags full of clothes. She was staying in our Master Bedroom, but the with the minimal storage space here, she was limited to opening only a few of the bags. Many of her clothes are still bagged up. I will get to them soon, but believing that if they weren’t that important to her, they probably won’t reveal too much.
Over the next few weeks, her energy came up, her pain dissipated, and she started to fit in again, like she never left. She watched the kids, cooked and cleaned, watched TV with us, and shared many stories. She was with us almost all the time, never asking to be alone. She spent hours playing dress-up with Kelley, doing her hair and nails, and purchasing earrings. She was being the perfect big sister. Chris found his older sister a bit of an annoyance, as she was always asking him to clean his room, put his clean clothes away, take his dirty clothes to the laundry and make his bed. When Rhonda was home, Gabi would spend time with her, as Rhonda talked about her day at work, and other womanly things.
Much of the 11 weeks found Gabi and I alone together. I was required to cook all her favorite recipes and in turn, she helped me on projects around the house. We recycled aluminum cans, collected fallen branches, chopped down a couple small trees, made a trip to the dump. We cleaned the garage and sun room. She weeded the gardens in the front yard. We went to a few auto salvage yards, found parts for our vehicles, and helped me get the parts installed. We shopped for food together, and half of the days she prepared dinner. She seemed to enjoy the extra purpose in life, and even though I didn’t ask her to do so, she swept and mopped the entire house almost every day. It was almost annoying.
We had fun too. We played Monopoly, finished a 2000 piece jigsaw puzzle, started another smaller (yet much more difficult) puzzle. She wanted to learn Spades. We stayed at a cottage in DamNeck where she walked the beach, collected shells and she flew a kite. Gabi and I took turn recommending movies for us both to watch, new ones and old favorites. She enjoyed watching Judge Judy, Judge Alex and other similar shows. We were collecting episodes of Walking Dead for her and David to watch when they were together.
Friday was payday, and due to the holiday, the kids were going to only have a half day at school. It quickly became obvious that morning that Gabi and I would not get out of the house in time to run our errands, so I got my list together and we waited for the kids to return. I started dinner in the slow-cooker, chicken breast with mushroom soup, condensed chicken soup, sliced carrots and sweet corn. Gabi was happy until I told her I had added some Dr Pepper for a little zing. When the kids returned, Kelley opted to go shopping with me, while Chris and Gabi stayed home watching TV. We were gone a few hours.
When we returned, everything seemed fine, Chris was still watching TV and Gabi was taking a nap. I had Kelley check on Gabi for dinner, and was told she was still sleeping. It was not uncommon over the last few weeks for Gabi to take long naps, and then spend half the night watching TV. She seemed to be making progress, so I didn’t think twice about it. It didn’t help that my best friend is the same way, staying up all night, sleeping in the morning, then working well into the evening. It was normal to me. We hadn’t gotten much sleep Thursday night, the dogs were on edge, and noisy, most of the night. So we went to bed shortly after dinner Friday night. While making coffee Saturday morning, I examined what was left from the slow-cooker, and couldn’t tell if she had eaten or not. I know she loved my flair for cooking, but was reluctant to taste my chicken and Dr Pepper concoction. David called a few minutes later and asked me to check in with her, as she hadn’t answered his call.
I went to her room, and found her gone.
The week that has passed seemed like ages, everything is a blur, just one long never-ending day. Rhonda and the kids have been remarkably strong for me. Our neighbors found out (not thru us or social media) and have been bringing us fresh fruit and dinner dishes. Everywhere I pass in our house, I see projects that Gabi was working on, or we were working on together. Things she was doing with Kelley. Sweet Tea and Apple Juice she made. Little snacks, candies and ice cream she purchased to share with us. Baskets of clean and folded clothes. Her boxes of DVD’s that she said I could add to my collection, that I hadn’t gotten to yet. So many memories, so many unfinished activities…
Yesterday, I sat in Gabi’s room, and watched the remaining shows that we were going to watch together: A Beautiful Mind, 2 episodes of Walking Dead, and The Crying Game. It didn’t help. I will have to take a DVD player up there later and watch our last movie of interest, Tess.
I need help, and those of you that know me, know that this request doesn’t come lightly. I never expected to bury my little girl. It was so much an afterthought that we don’t even have a plot available for her. Angelica and I would like Gabriela to be near my mom and sister, who are buried in Mt Hebron Cemetery, Winchester VA, and there is a spot maybe 20 feet away. I don’t know if that is close enough. I do know that the burial and services will be about $8500. I am so sorry to have to ask, but if you can spare anything, my family and I would be forever grateful. Thank you for reading this far. May God bless you.
Gabi came to us to clean herself up, to get away from the drugs and to get her life in order, to get back on track to do the great things we all thought she was capable of. We thought that is what was happening. Gabi rebuilt her connections with her sister Kelley and brother Chris, re-bonded with my wife Rhonda, and had successfully started to break thru barriers I had emplaced when she abandoned us so long before. She had applied for employment at local places just the week prior, and had long term plans to move in with, and marry, her boyfriend and soulmate, David. We had plans to attend the Ringling Brothers Circus last week, as well as the upcoming NASCAR weekend at Richmond. We had accepted David, and he would be doing these events, and more, with us as family. That is all a distant memory now.
Years ago, Gabi had felt that I somehow loved her less, as our family grew, first with a new wife, then with a new brother and sister. She didn’t understand that she was always going to be my baby girl no matter how many people I had to share my love with. She decided that living in a household with rules, was not to her liking, and that surely things would be better at her mom’s place. So, she took her things and moved out, content to not look back. I had hoped that she would find herself, correct things, and come home, before she was hurt too bad to do so.
She avoided me for most of those years. Initially, to stand her ground, but then later on, maybe, to avoid the inevitable “I told you so” speech she felt I would lay on her. We only talked a couple of times, but I kept track of her thru social media and her family up there. For the first few years, my profile was blocked, but I created a fake profile of one of her friends, and would follow her that way.
Gabi never found what she was looking for up there and eventually turned to drugs, and then harder drugs, to take her to places where things were more to her liking. She knows I was adamant about avoiding illegal drugs, and maybe that strengthened her resolve to stay away from us. She thought she had burned the bonds between us, and then she did burn the bonds of her friends up there. They grew tired of assisting her in her downfall, and slowly, she was left with almost no one to turn to.
Then this past summer, we experienced a miracle. Rhonda, the kids and I had gone to DC to spend the weekend. We went to the Smithsonian, for their first time, and then headed down the Mall, to see the Washington Monument. As we were about to cross the street, a pickup drove by, in the lane furthest away from us. Someone shouted “Dad, Dad” and waved. Though I had absolutely no idea whom they were calling out to, I nonchalantly waved back. A minute later, my phone rang, it was Gabi. In a city the size of DC, on the only day I had been there in years, at an area as busy as the Mall, Gabi somehow looked out of the window at the exact moment required to spot me in the crowd.
The tone of the phone call was guarded on both our parts. She was running to grab her friend’s paycheck, but would return to the Monument shortly. We waited a while, a long while, but then determined we needed to do other things, so I called her again and asked her to meet us at our hotel room when she was able. A couple of hours later, Gabi and David, came to visit. We all had a great time. Afterwards, Gabi knew she would be welcome to return to us. She friended me on Facebook, and we started to talk more. She even talked to Rhonda.
When she hit rock-bottom in early January, she knew where to turn, and came home.
When Gabi arrived, she was sluggish, at best. Her mom had driven her here while she slipped in and out of sleep. But, she found the energy to come inside. She arrived with nothing but the close on her back and a lighter or two. She slept for all but a couple hours over the next few days. She didn’t eat or drink much, but if she was awake, she was with us. I purchased a few clothing items, fresh fruit and sweet tea for her, as well as cigarettes, believing them to be a great deal better than some of her other choices. Ten days later, her clothes arrived. Maybe 10 large garbage bags full of clothes. She was staying in our Master Bedroom, but the with the minimal storage space here, she was limited to opening only a few of the bags. Many of her clothes are still bagged up. I will get to them soon, but believing that if they weren’t that important to her, they probably won’t reveal too much.
Over the next few weeks, her energy came up, her pain dissipated, and she started to fit in again, like she never left. She watched the kids, cooked and cleaned, watched TV with us, and shared many stories. She was with us almost all the time, never asking to be alone. She spent hours playing dress-up with Kelley, doing her hair and nails, and purchasing earrings. She was being the perfect big sister. Chris found his older sister a bit of an annoyance, as she was always asking him to clean his room, put his clean clothes away, take his dirty clothes to the laundry and make his bed. When Rhonda was home, Gabi would spend time with her, as Rhonda talked about her day at work, and other womanly things.
Much of the 11 weeks found Gabi and I alone together. I was required to cook all her favorite recipes and in turn, she helped me on projects around the house. We recycled aluminum cans, collected fallen branches, chopped down a couple small trees, made a trip to the dump. We cleaned the garage and sun room. She weeded the gardens in the front yard. We went to a few auto salvage yards, found parts for our vehicles, and helped me get the parts installed. We shopped for food together, and half of the days she prepared dinner. She seemed to enjoy the extra purpose in life, and even though I didn’t ask her to do so, she swept and mopped the entire house almost every day. It was almost annoying.
We had fun too. We played Monopoly, finished a 2000 piece jigsaw puzzle, started another smaller (yet much more difficult) puzzle. She wanted to learn Spades. We stayed at a cottage in DamNeck where she walked the beach, collected shells and she flew a kite. Gabi and I took turn recommending movies for us both to watch, new ones and old favorites. She enjoyed watching Judge Judy, Judge Alex and other similar shows. We were collecting episodes of Walking Dead for her and David to watch when they were together.
Friday was payday, and due to the holiday, the kids were going to only have a half day at school. It quickly became obvious that morning that Gabi and I would not get out of the house in time to run our errands, so I got my list together and we waited for the kids to return. I started dinner in the slow-cooker, chicken breast with mushroom soup, condensed chicken soup, sliced carrots and sweet corn. Gabi was happy until I told her I had added some Dr Pepper for a little zing. When the kids returned, Kelley opted to go shopping with me, while Chris and Gabi stayed home watching TV. We were gone a few hours.
When we returned, everything seemed fine, Chris was still watching TV and Gabi was taking a nap. I had Kelley check on Gabi for dinner, and was told she was still sleeping. It was not uncommon over the last few weeks for Gabi to take long naps, and then spend half the night watching TV. She seemed to be making progress, so I didn’t think twice about it. It didn’t help that my best friend is the same way, staying up all night, sleeping in the morning, then working well into the evening. It was normal to me. We hadn’t gotten much sleep Thursday night, the dogs were on edge, and noisy, most of the night. So we went to bed shortly after dinner Friday night. While making coffee Saturday morning, I examined what was left from the slow-cooker, and couldn’t tell if she had eaten or not. I know she loved my flair for cooking, but was reluctant to taste my chicken and Dr Pepper concoction. David called a few minutes later and asked me to check in with her, as she hadn’t answered his call.
I went to her room, and found her gone.
The week that has passed seemed like ages, everything is a blur, just one long never-ending day. Rhonda and the kids have been remarkably strong for me. Our neighbors found out (not thru us or social media) and have been bringing us fresh fruit and dinner dishes. Everywhere I pass in our house, I see projects that Gabi was working on, or we were working on together. Things she was doing with Kelley. Sweet Tea and Apple Juice she made. Little snacks, candies and ice cream she purchased to share with us. Baskets of clean and folded clothes. Her boxes of DVD’s that she said I could add to my collection, that I hadn’t gotten to yet. So many memories, so many unfinished activities…
Yesterday, I sat in Gabi’s room, and watched the remaining shows that we were going to watch together: A Beautiful Mind, 2 episodes of Walking Dead, and The Crying Game. It didn’t help. I will have to take a DVD player up there later and watch our last movie of interest, Tess.
I need help, and those of you that know me, know that this request doesn’t come lightly. I never expected to bury my little girl. It was so much an afterthought that we don’t even have a plot available for her. Angelica and I would like Gabriela to be near my mom and sister, who are buried in Mt Hebron Cemetery, Winchester VA, and there is a spot maybe 20 feet away. I don’t know if that is close enough. I do know that the burial and services will be about $8500. I am so sorry to have to ask, but if you can spare anything, my family and I would be forever grateful. Thank you for reading this far. May God bless you.
Organizer
Charles Ernest Tait
Organizer
Dandy, VA