HELP! Update Nov 11 Please Share

Update November 11

  Thank you for taking the time. It’s valuable and I respect it. 

  Currently, my son and I are in a dire position. 

Without getting into too much detail I will say that everything has fallen apart during a time that should be filled with nothing but love and support. This should be a time of coming together and helping a loved one, in the ways that they need help, without them feeling as if they were wrong for ever asking. Not all is lost though, I’ve had some wonderful friends that have gone above and beyond for us. They along with Gavin, are the ones that have kept me focused.

Today, Monday, I am going in for a surgical outpatient procedure and have an Uber picking me up at 5 AM to bring me to Portsmouth and back home. My son volunteered, but tomorrow he is bringing me back to Portsmouth to start chemo, and again on Wednesday so I can get an injection that can only be administered 24 hours after. One of my most wonderful friends offered to take me Wednesday,  but I know she already has so much on her plate and she’s super supportive already. I could not say yes simply out of kindness for her. That's the angle I think from naturally, which a lot of people seem to find frustrating. I’m doing my best. Also, Gavin really wants to do it. We plan on spending the holidays together the two of us and his lovely girlfriend. also, hoping to be spending time with friends that have been supportive and a light in our lives right now as well. Even the few that have just genuinely asked how I am doing. I think of you every day with gratitude please know that. 

  

 The feeling of loss of not being able to be with the people that you normally would be with because it’s just not healthy, is beyond heartbreaking. I try to stay focused on the positives so the negatives don’t drag me down. I know that that also helps Gavin.

 

 We are going to be taking care of this household on just our two incomes very soon here, of which mine is only short term disability, which I haven’t seen a check since October 17. I’m going to get back to work as soon as I think people will benefit from what I have to offer them in my line of work. I’m going to get back to work as soon as I think people will benefit from what I have to offer them in my line of work. Not a minute sooner. Mental health is too important for that and I won’t let people down .com for help because of my situation.

We are already enduring so much and just need the load lightened a little more.

We are so gracious that there are no sufficient words. Thank you will have to do for now ❤️

Update 11/1/23

  Today a very clear picture of what is actually going on was painted. I have the most aggressive form of breast cancer that can only be treated in specific ways. That being said, I have to start chemo treatment and it’s going to be fast and aggressive. I cannot do that until I am fully healed. I have some very heavy stuff ahead of me on top of the mountain that has already piled up. I’m not complaining, I’m just doing what’s necessary for my own self preservation. I am asking graciously for more help. I was very uncertain as to how today was going to go, but this was absolutely not something that was in consideration. Another hard lesson learned. I am at a loss at the moment, but I am very grateful that I at least have an opportunity to get ahead of this. I apologize if anybody dear to me is reading this and learning for the first time about what is happening, going forward, but it’s incredibly overwhelming to communicate this to people right now individually. Please understand as best you can. Nothing but love. Thank you again.

Brief overview 

  August of this year I was diagnosed with breast cancer. One month later I had a double mastectomy, that resulted in internal bleeding, an emergency surgery, then blood transfusions. I left that hospital with a lot of mental confusion, and it was too much for others to handle or help with, which was also confusing. It resulted in an abrupt transformation of my life, and a lot of very scary moments. Now that I have had some peace, and conversations with professionals, I’ve been able to understand that I am suffering from severe PTSD. It started with the way my diagnosis was delivered to me and then was compounded over the next month and a half with multiple traumatic instances. I'm a tough chick, but I've reached my limit. Based on that, I’ve chosen an Oncologist that takes a whole person approach, and will be able to provide top tier cancer treatment, but also mental health treatment which really does come hand-in-hand with cancer. 

I have $60 co-pays every time I go to the surgeon (weekly) and I haven’t even been to my first Oncology appointment yet. I have no idea what to expect financially. I have a pile of bills over $7000 and it’s not even all of the past month. Luckily with the money that has been donated ive been able to stay just barely ahead thanks to everyone's generousity. Things are starting to get tight again, and the concern is growing. i’m overwhelmed to say the very least.

    

 My son has stepped up to the plate and he’s doing everything for his mom with no judgment and with patience. He’s just barely becoming an adult, and I don’t want him to start out struggling because his mom got cancer young. It just feels wrong as a mom, but I'm so proud. 

 I can’t wait to get back to my job working in mental health. With everybody’s love and support I know I will in time heal physically and mentally so I can get back to doing what I love.

Much love ❤️

If you don't know me. Here's a taste of my loving and silly nature. I can't wait to get back to it. 

Jackie ❤️