It is with great sadness that I must share that my amazing Mother-in-Law, Debbie Tassi (Grabek) passed away suddenly this morning. She is a caring, sweet, and extremely loving Mom. She loves her daughter more than anything in the entire world & that was so evident throughout her life.
Debbie grew up with her loving parents, Adolph & Emily Grabek, in Merrillville IN. She then met the love of her life, Ronald Tassi, and enjoyed many happy years of Marriage. Debbie was also a beloved Hebron elementary school teacher for 19 years & a preschool teacher for 10 years. Once they welcomed Emily into the world, she decided to retire and be a stay at home Mom, to enjoy precious time with her daughter. However, Debbie & Emily went through their fair share of grief, with losing her husband Ron & mom Emily in a short time-frame. Debbie knew she could not give up, and continued to raise Emily on her own, and always persevered when times were tough.
Two weeks ago, Debbie noticed a change in her breathing. She had a long list of health concerns that she battled through. Looking back, we believe she was always trying to put a brave face on for Emily and I. Even up until her last days, she would always say "I'm fine, I'm doing good". It was after an urgent trip to her Pulmonologist, that they quickly sent her to the ER. After a long 12+ hours in the ER, Debbie was admitted due to double pneumonia, an asthma exacerbation, and extreme fluid retention. During all of this, Emily was by her side the entire time - always advocating that her Mom got the very best medical care. Upon being admitted, Debbie went through rigorous testing and doctors appointments. We knew she was in pain, but she never let that show. As long as her daughter was by her side, nothing else mattered to her. Emily would stay by her side as soon as visiting hours started - until they ended each day. The moment that they would have to say their goodbyes, it always ended in tears, and them expressing how much they loved each other. It was a few days later, that they discovered that the medication that they gave to reduce fluid in her body, was causing her to have an acute kidney injury. They were at an impasse with her treatment...In order to clear her pneumonia, they needed to give her lasic water pills. However, to avoid her kidneys shutting down, they needed to give her all of the fluid back into her body to try and save her. To top it all off, while there, a surgeon broke the news that she needed to have surgery on a herniated bowel. He told us that if this was not treated, it had the threat of bursting and making her very sick, very fast. However, all of her doctors concluded that she simply was not strong enough to endure this difficult surgery.
Upon getting that news, her health slowly declined. Emily & I both saw it, but could not believe what was happening. Debbie was a fighter, and she sure did not go down without one -surpassing the doctor's expectations. A few days later, they had to rush her to the ICU. She was given a BI-PAP, endured more life saving procedures to place semi-permanent IV's & ports, and on a 24 hour dialysis to try and save her life. It was soon after that we were broken the news that Mom "would not make it home". This absolutely devastated us both - we were not ready to say goodbye - and neither was Debbie. She was very lethargic and was not always coherent. Nonetheless, there was one thing that brought her back to the surface - and that was Emily. She would constantly tell her "Momma - I love you", and Debbie would manage to reply "I love you too". Even when she could no longer speak, when all other voices failed, as soon as she heard Emily, her blood pressure would increase, and she would open her tired eyes and look at her. We knew how scared she must have been, but we stayed by her side until our final goodbye came. We knew she could not withstand any other life-saving measures, so Emily had to make the hard choice of not having her Mom placed on a ventilator or have CPR preformed. The doctors expressed that would possibly hurt her further and cause further trauma to her. Even though Emily would give anything to save her Mom, she knew this is what her Mom would want, and wanted to give her a peaceful end. Reluctantly, Emily and I had our final goodbyes with her & had very heartfelt conversations -which we know that she heard. The love between Emily and her Mom was so clear until her last moments here on earth.
We are reluctantly having to ask for financial help during this heartbreaking time. Debbie was a single Mom for many years, and did not have much saved up. She also did not have life-insurance. Emily is wanting to plan a beautiful service for her and these funds would make that possible for her. We have yet to receive the final medical bills for her long 2 week stay, but we are gearing up to try and handle those expenses as well. Any little bit would help & I know myself, Emily, and Debbie would so greatly appreciate it.
As I have mentioned above, Debbie loved her daughter more than anything in the world. Upon asking her if she would give me her blessing to marry her daughter, she asked only one thing of me. "Please, always care for and protect her, and love her no matter what". That stuck with me ever since, and I am asking for funds to in turn care for her in the aftermath of her pain and suffering. There will never be a day where I will not keep that promise.