Funeral Expenses for Maxine Hartley

On Thursday March 25th I received a Red Cross Message through the Army that my mother was terminally ill at Saint Catherine of Siena Hospital on Long Island and requested my presence for her final moments. Most of you who know me well are aware that my biological mother passed away in 2008, and that I have a complicated and distant relationship with my adoptive mother who raised me since infancy.  Because of this I was surprised to get the phone call but immediately booked a flight to New York to see her, unsure of the true gravity of the situation.  I arrived at the hospital at 1:30 in the morning on Friday the 26th where I was informed that she had breast cancer that went completely untreated, advanced to stage 4, and had metastasized throughout her entire body. She was only there to be made comfortable in her final moments. She was unable to respond but I spoke to her one final time and feel very fortunate I was able to be there with her in person at the final hour. I received the call that she had passed on a few hours later just after 5am.  She was stubborn to the end and I have no doubt she waited for me to get there before she moved on. 

Maxine Hartley was a remarkable, complex, whip smart woman, and never apologized for being blunt, different, and even what some might call hard-edged. I am the woman I am today because she raised me and I will always regret that we were never really able to put the pieces back together and mend our relationship.  

Our estrangement notwithstanding, she left the decision making and final arrangements to me.  Unfortunately she had no life insurance, savings, or other contingency for this turn of events.  Heather and I are doing our best to closeout her accounts, tie up loose ends, and we have made her final arrangements, but between the two of us it is still at enormous cost.  If you knew Maxine or know the two of us, you knowhow emotional and difficult this time is, and if you are willing to help we would be eternally grateful.  

If you can help, please, and if you can’t please share.