Funeral Costs for Erik Rivas
Donation protected
In the early morning of March 23, my nephew (but my son in my heart) Erik, who I have been raising for the past 6 years (along with my husband, mother, and father), decided that the pain of this world was just too much for him. So he left our house when everyone was asleep and took his life. Our world is crushed. He left behind a letter that details his struggles and how he wanted to fight them on his own. However, his past trauma never left him like he said it did and actually came back with a vengeance.
We never saw this coming. We've talked to so many people who knew him looking for answers. He never let anyone know he was struggling. He went through intense therapy when my family obtained custody of him, and we saw him flourish. The things people say they remember about him most are his giggle and his infectious smile. He was a brilliant boy. He was a distinguished honor student and in the top 50 students of the Northeastern High School class of 2022. He was an amazing hunter, brother, son, cousin, grandson, and friend. He was not bullied. He was respectful, kind, and caring. In my opinion, he was the child that everyone would dream to have. I keep asking myself why he couldn't see what everyone else saw? He didn't see all the potential, all the greatness, his handsomeness, and the kindness he showed the world every day. However, all the why's and what if's in the world will never bring him back to us.
In his letter, he asked for a unique burial. He wants only the closest family and friends to be there. He gave particular instructions and very unconventional, but that is just the way he is. He didn't want a big "spectacle." I was able to meet with the funeral director and give him everything he asked for. I owe it to him to meet his wishes.
I initially was against creating this because even though we do not have enough savings to cover his funeral costs upfront, we found a means of loaning money to pay the costs we could not meet. However, my cousin notified me that a lot of people wanted to donate. My employer also contacted me. It's taking a lot to swallow my pride and allow that to happen. But if I learned anything from all of this, it's okay to ask for help sometimes. It's the same thing I keep saying over and over. If he had just asked for help, I would have given my life to give him the happiness he was missing.
If anyone can learn anything from my boy's death, it's that you can never love your kids enough. Even if you think you're giving 100%, give 200%. Not all of these cases come with obvious signs. When you think you're doing too much, when you're kids get annoyed or mad because they say you do too much, you're too protective, you're too worried. You're not! I always felt guilty and thought that sometimes I protect them too much, but now I know there is no such thing.
I don't know if there was anything I could have done differently. I can't help but question myself, though. I guess ultimately; there was a part that relied on him to let us know. I say all this to say, sometimes the worst things happen despite the best intentions. So take advantage of today, cherish every moment, every second, the good, the bad, everything. It's cliche to say, but you never know what tomorrow brings. We are only guaranteed this moment, right now. Hug your kiddos and everyone you love, because one day, it could be the last.
** This GoFundMe is created for anyone who feels it in their heart to donate. There is no obligation. While any donations are much appreciated, we will cover the costs any way we can to give him everything he asked for. If we get more than what this fundraiser is asking for (which is the exact cost of the funeral), we will be donating it. We're not sure of where to donate anything if this fundraiser gets to that point. Erik was very passionate about insects. When he was younger, he wanted to get a job as someone who studies insects out in the wild and does some conservation work. However, later on, he decided he wouldn't make enough money in that field, but he spent all his free time playing with bugs, growing things, creating habitats, etc. I want to donate to somewhere that falls along these lines to help them do work that he was passionate about. If anyone has any ideas, please let me know.**
In this picture is Erik with his 3 siblings and 2 cousins. (my nieces and nephews who we raise) However, for them, they were all brothers and sisters. They have been raised together forever, and miss him more than words could ever describe.
We never saw this coming. We've talked to so many people who knew him looking for answers. He never let anyone know he was struggling. He went through intense therapy when my family obtained custody of him, and we saw him flourish. The things people say they remember about him most are his giggle and his infectious smile. He was a brilliant boy. He was a distinguished honor student and in the top 50 students of the Northeastern High School class of 2022. He was an amazing hunter, brother, son, cousin, grandson, and friend. He was not bullied. He was respectful, kind, and caring. In my opinion, he was the child that everyone would dream to have. I keep asking myself why he couldn't see what everyone else saw? He didn't see all the potential, all the greatness, his handsomeness, and the kindness he showed the world every day. However, all the why's and what if's in the world will never bring him back to us.
In his letter, he asked for a unique burial. He wants only the closest family and friends to be there. He gave particular instructions and very unconventional, but that is just the way he is. He didn't want a big "spectacle." I was able to meet with the funeral director and give him everything he asked for. I owe it to him to meet his wishes.
I initially was against creating this because even though we do not have enough savings to cover his funeral costs upfront, we found a means of loaning money to pay the costs we could not meet. However, my cousin notified me that a lot of people wanted to donate. My employer also contacted me. It's taking a lot to swallow my pride and allow that to happen. But if I learned anything from all of this, it's okay to ask for help sometimes. It's the same thing I keep saying over and over. If he had just asked for help, I would have given my life to give him the happiness he was missing.
If anyone can learn anything from my boy's death, it's that you can never love your kids enough. Even if you think you're giving 100%, give 200%. Not all of these cases come with obvious signs. When you think you're doing too much, when you're kids get annoyed or mad because they say you do too much, you're too protective, you're too worried. You're not! I always felt guilty and thought that sometimes I protect them too much, but now I know there is no such thing.
I don't know if there was anything I could have done differently. I can't help but question myself, though. I guess ultimately; there was a part that relied on him to let us know. I say all this to say, sometimes the worst things happen despite the best intentions. So take advantage of today, cherish every moment, every second, the good, the bad, everything. It's cliche to say, but you never know what tomorrow brings. We are only guaranteed this moment, right now. Hug your kiddos and everyone you love, because one day, it could be the last.
** This GoFundMe is created for anyone who feels it in their heart to donate. There is no obligation. While any donations are much appreciated, we will cover the costs any way we can to give him everything he asked for. If we get more than what this fundraiser is asking for (which is the exact cost of the funeral), we will be donating it. We're not sure of where to donate anything if this fundraiser gets to that point. Erik was very passionate about insects. When he was younger, he wanted to get a job as someone who studies insects out in the wild and does some conservation work. However, later on, he decided he wouldn't make enough money in that field, but he spent all his free time playing with bugs, growing things, creating habitats, etc. I want to donate to somewhere that falls along these lines to help them do work that he was passionate about. If anyone has any ideas, please let me know.**
In this picture is Erik with his 3 siblings and 2 cousins. (my nieces and nephews who we raise) However, for them, they were all brothers and sisters. They have been raised together forever, and miss him more than words could ever describe.
Organizer
Brandi Weyant-Ceron
Organizer
Manchester, PA