Funeral and Memorial for Elsa Guarino Higham

My mom recently passed away. To me, she was the most important person in the world. But now, it's up to me, my brother, and stepdad to figure out the next steps to make sure she can rest easy and be remembered with the dignity she deserves. Unfortunately, there are unexpected and monumental costs that come with that.

It pains me to ask, but we need help. To put it plainly, we're a small family that never had much and struggle with debt just to live somewhat normal lives to this day. But we want to make sure money doesn't get in the way of giving my mom the proper memorial back home in San Diego.

Elsa Guarino was born on August 15, 1959 and lived to be 64 years old. For the past 15 years, however, she struggled with multiple medical problems and lived with various disabilities. She lived with kidney failure and had routine dialysis, and over those 15 years, she suffered from infections that led to critical operations, a heart attack that nearly ended her life, and conditions that left her with limited mobility. Yet, through it all, she always recovered and came back strong as if these were normal things to overcome.

I don’t want her to be remembered solely for her battles with health, however. She continued to shine bright, giggling whenever we'd talk to catch up and having a childlike joy whenever I'd visit and still spoiling me because I'd always be her baby boy. She'd still cook for family gatherings, set up decorations for the holidays, yell at the TV during sports games, and be the great mom she always was.

She told me stories of being a kid in the Philippines, going to school in her small town, climbing trees to take coconuts back home, working at small shops when she was young, and then all the places she’d been in the US when I was too young to remember. She literally supported me and my brother in whatever we wanted to do--not to get straight As in school or make a bunch of money (although she wouldn’t mind), but to be happy with what we were doing. Every phone call, she was concerned whether or not I was eating good, if I was making friends, if I had enough money to treat myself, and ultimately, if I was happy. She loved my friends like they were her own kids, embraced my brother's family with unconditional love, and never forgot to tell my brother and I how much she was proud of us and missed us, even though we were right there with her in the moment.

This is also for my stepdad Tony. In the 23 years they were together, he was with her every step of the way. He literally spent every minute possible with my mom, and did everything in his power to be with her and take care of her in the darkest of times, and up until the very end. He worked out of my mom’s hospital rooms, slept on the small couches in the hospital rooms to stay with her overnight, and convinced the nurses to let him stay past visiting hours. He took her to all her medical appointments, drove her everywhere she wanted to go, and provided everything she needed without question. I’ve never seen this kind of love and dedication, she was his everything, and I cannot imagine the pain he’s feeling, too.

He’s struggled with health problems as well, and now lives with limited mobility following a stroke and a heart attack in recent years. It’s also affected his ability to work. He never asked for much, yet financial problems followed us through the years. I want to give him one less thing to worry about during this time, and let him know that people have our back to help my mom rest easy.

I love and miss her so much, more than I could ever explain. I wish she knew all of you, too. She would have treated you as one of her own, just like she always did whenever my friends would come over. I want to reciprocate that love and care one more time.

No matter how much you're able to give, I want to thank you all so much.

-Michael Higham