Let me start by saying my Momma is my hero. She made all of the right choices, and did everything right. She raised my brother and I as a single parent, sent us to private school, and we lived in the same house our entire lives. When she worked her late nights, every Tuesday, we stayed with my cousins. When she had to go out of town, my Aunt stayed with us. My mom never drank, never smoked, and completed over 15 full and half marathons. My mom worked as a manager at the same bank for 26 years. She took good care of herself, and great care of my brother and I.

When my mom was 48 years old, we started to notice some out of character behavior. She became very forgetful, listless, coupled with hot flashes. Yes, all of her symptoms fit the bill for menopause. After some research, I found that supplementing with Evening Primrose seemed to have helped...her hot flashes.
During this time, she started to have a large aversion to work. She called in sick frequently, and she seemed more stressed and frustrated than usual. Then one day she up and quit her job. An action that my mom would never EVER do on a whim.  She convinced us that she just needed a break, and wanted to do something else. We believed her.


I decided that for her 50th birthday, I wanted to throw her a giant birthday bash, to help perk up her spirits. I invited everyone; all family, her close friends, work friends, anyone that would love to celebrate her for the day. It was a great turn out, and a great party, she was so happy. I noticed her sitting at a table of her closest girlfriends, and they were all laughing and sharing stories, except my mom. I walked over and sat next her and laughed at the stories, most of which I knew. My mom did a half-hearted laugh, leaned over to me and whispered "Did I do that?" A moment I will never forget. The story was about her. I knew in the pit of my stomach that something was wrong. My mom was not okay. It wasn't just menopause. 

I took her to her doctor of 20 years, and told him my concerns. He asked her a series of questions, including "What year is it" to which she replied "2000," and at this point it was 2009. He told her 3 items to remember, had a brief conversation with her, and then asked her to recall those items. She remembered one. He then asked her to stay in the examination room, and told me to meet him in his office. I walked into his office, where he was so upset. He said something is wrong, something has happened to her brain, and it is now demented. A scarring statement that I hope no person ever has to hear.


We went to the emergency room at Olive View Medical Center as a starting point. Since my mom had quit her job, she no longer had medical insurance, and we needed to speak with an emergency doctor, in order to be referred to a neurologist. We spoke with the Olive View doctor, who agreed with the first diagnosis, and then referred us to the on-site neurologist.

January 26th, 2010 my mother was diagnosed with Dementia, likely early-onset Alzheimer's Disease. She was 50 years old. She started immediately on Namenda and Aricept to help preserve her brain from that point forward. She was told her drivers license was now revoked and that she could no longer be alone, for fear of her wandering, getting lost and potentially hurting others in the process. 


My brother was 23 years old working full time and going to school to become a mechanic. I was 25 years old, teaching full time and was finishing my college degree.  We both no longer lived at home and had to alternate staying with her before and after work, and had hired help for all other times. The cost was over $2,000 a month, just for her care. Because Alzheimer's is progressive, her need for care continued to increase, and so did the cost.

During this time, she started to hide items like the mail and was increasingly becoming more aggressive, both typical symptoms of Dementia-Alzheimer's. She had refinanced the house a few years back, and told no one. That's when we lost our second generation house. We had to move her to a care facility; which took 4 attempts at 4 different facilities. The last facility actually said she was so aggressive, that they sent her to Olive View Hospital. Olive View then sent her to another hospital without notifying me. That hospital treated her so poorly, we filed a police report with pictures and other documentation.

Fast forward to present day. We have finally found the perfect care facility where she is no longer aggressive and they treat her like family. I cannot tell you the peace of mind that gives a person. In the 6 years since her diagnosis,  we have used every cent of her savings, her stocks, her pension, and the money from her house being sold. That's over $200,000 in 6 years. Currently, my mother is permanently in a wheelchair, is incontinent, can not shower or care for herself, and can speak only a few words. Her smile could still light up a room though, I don't care how sick she is.

We live in Southern California and she was approved for Medicare long ago. However, now that we are out of funds, we need other state assistance in order to properly care for her. We have applied for Medi-Cal, Medicaid, a waiver program for interim care, even prescription drug assistance, and have been denied for all of them.  

We, as a family, are asking for you help. Something we would not do, unless absolutely necessary. We need financial help while we reapply for all programs. All financial help we receive will go directly to her care facility, medical bills and medical supplies.  We are also asking if anyone knows of any programs, social workers, or facilities that may have more insight for what we can do to help our mom. Our goal is to keep her at her current facility while we can apply and fight for programs, as well as wait for a bed to open at a state facility.

We thank you for any assistance that you provide, we are so appreciative.

Lacey and Robert
Daughter and Son