Loved ones, colleagues, and chosen family;

Many people understandably assume that parent–child relationships are sources of love and support. Sadly, my experience has been the opposite. For years, my mother has engaged in persistent psychological and emotional abuse — showing up uninvited at my workplaces and residences, hiring private investigators to follow and contact me, and disregarding every effort I’ve made to set healthy boundaries.

This is not about a disagreement or family tension. It is a pattern of behavior that has left me feeling unsafe, violated, and exhausted. The impact has not only been on me — my brother has also had to change his phone number and withhold his address just to avoid similar harassment.

I’ve tried everything I could to resolve this without legal action. I’ve moved, kept my official address at my aunt’s (far from where I live and work), removed myself from professional platforms, and spent countless hours in therapy processing the ongoing harm. Despite all of this, the incursions into my life have not stopped.

Taking legal action through a protection order is the only remaining option. This isn’t a choice I make lightly — but it is the only way to reclaim my safety and peace of mind.

Why I Am Raising Funds

A large part of why I need outside help is because of my autoimmune disorder, Spondylitis, and the complexity of the case. I am currently in remission, and have maintained a lifestyle and schedule that are very supportive of maintaining that. When I am placed under a huge amount of stress, it puts that balance in jeopardy. Most of my intense flare ups have coincided with stressful episodes with my mom. This is also why I am seeking as much help as possible; I have previously attempted to file a protection order and it was denied because she lived out of state and emotional harm is harder to prove.

My attorney has generously waived the consultation fee, but representation costs $325/hour, and if the case is contested — which is likely — the expenses increase significantly. Based on similar cases, here is what I can expect:

Petition drafting & filing: $650–$1,300

Temporary order hearing: $650–$975

Permanent order hearing (if contested): $3,000–$5,200

Follow-up filings and final paperwork: $975–$1,950

Court fees, service fees, documents: ~$175–$250

Fundraising platform fees: ~$250

Lost wages from multiple days in court: $200–$600

Altogether, this case could range from about $6,000 if resolved quickly to as much as $9,000 if heavily contested. Any unused funds will remain in my attorney’s trust account, used to obtain my WSET 3 in wine to stabilize my career and get me back on track, or distributed to other industry folks who may be facing similar challenges.

✨ Why Your Support Matters

Your support doesn’t just help cover legal costs. It helps me put an end to a long chapter of psychological harm, protect myself and my family, and move forward without the constant fear of intrusion.

By contributing, you are helping me reclaim safety, dignity, and stability after years of unwanted surveillance and harassment. Every contribution, no matter the size, makes a direct difference in bringing this protection within reach.

With Gratitude,

Allyson