Hi everyone - I'm reaching out with this because I really don't know any other way to. I have really combed through every single person or resource I can to try and find help, but there are none. We really do not have the resources or the people to help us physically. So the only logical way in my mind was this. We need funds for either daycare for a month or funds to have Jake take FMLA that is unpaid (I have tallied all of our regular bills up for the month for the total), so he can be able to pay our bills while I leave for a rehabilitation center for 30 days.

I have struggled so badly with mental health and underlying disorders that I cannot ignore anymore. I have been offered to have everything paid for (counseling, EMDR therapy, anger management, medication, and detox) if I just somehow find how to get childcare for 30 days. I have a lot of unresolved trauma and anger that has just built up (along with a mood disorder, anxiety disorders, and Bipolar Disorder) - but it's built up in such a way that I just can't suppress it anymore. And a regular doctor cannot help me. I need real, thorough and intense intervention by therapists. Because I have been having very bad episodes of mood swings, depression, suicidal thoughts. It's important that I go and go immediately, as soon as I can. For my family.

My Father struggled with this as well but he never sought help. And I wish he had for me. Because he never did and it got him. And I cannot let this get me for the sake of my daughter and my family. I wish I could put it more lightly, but I can't anymore. I need help.

And Jake could stay home if I was able to somehow raise the funds for him to. So Karlee would be taken care of and I would not have to worry about disrupting anyone's life. I could get the treatment I so desperately need to be the best mom I can be and the best partner I can be. And I could just come back, straight back home and know she's with her dad. And safe and at home. Just waiting for her healthy mom to come back to her.

I am so mortified posting this at all because...it's embarrassing. I don't like making mental health things known so publically but I literally don't know what else to do. I'm at my wit's end. I would give anything to be able to do this...but I cannot do it any other way. I need community and I need to swallow my pride and I need to just ask.

All I know is that I will not be a disappointment to my sweet little angel. I can't....I love you all. You're literally saving my life. You're ensuring us such a happy life that I desperately want. I just don't have the strength anymore to lie and act like everything is okay. And I wish I had savings or anything but we live month to month.

For backing up my words: I have put down our bills and their amounts so you can see exactly where things would go:

Rent $1,000

Water $100

Power $300

Food $200

Diapers/Wipes/Milk $50

Insurance $50

Thank you for reading this and even thinking of us, that goes a long way. Just your thoughts and your love.

Thank you,

Alex