FTM Mastektomi
Hi,
My name is Gabriel La.
I'm a genderfluid and genderqueer 28 year old with huge breasts! ☹
They are a D-cup right now.
This is something that hurts me on an everyday basis. And for more time that goes by it impacts my health/body more and more every day.
Why does it hurt me?
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I want to go running for my health, but I need to wear sport bras. Otherwise I will hurt myself and the breasts goes flying everywhere!
But! I don't want to wear a bra in public, because it makes my breasts looks bigger and poke out.
So I just avoid exercise. Which is bad!
I buy clothes that are at least one size too big for me, so that I can hide my breasts under the loose fabric.
I also have a horrible posture from hunching, because I can sort of "turtle shell" myself over my boobs, so that they don't show as much.
And thanks to this I have back pain every single day.
Sometimes I wear a breastbinder. Which basically pushes the breasts down and to the side. It hurts a lot, but it makes me appear flatter.
Sadly, my breastbinder broke when my mighty boobs burst through the zipper. So now I don't have any binders left.
Because I am genderfluid and not transgender, I think that the healthcare system won't accept my application for a referral to a surgeon.
Therefore, I need to pay for this surgery myself.
Why do I need this surgery?
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My body is telling a different story of who I am, than the person I am on the inside.
I am being judged the second someone sees me. And that hurts me to my very core to think that I am being misgendered by people I don't even talk to. Just someone who passes me on the street.
Everybody is seeing a person that isn't there, and I am being glossed over. Like I am replaced by someone else.
I feel invisible and misjudged at the same time.
It's really hard to describe how this feels to someone who isn't in my shoes. But all I want to say is that it hurts me. And this hurt is something that I have to deal with almost every day.
And so, this has taken a hard toll on my self confidence.
Appearance.
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I want to look as androgynous as possible! Boobs are a very strong feminine characteristic, and so I hate seeing them on my body.
I am sick of hating my body.
Why do I need help?
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I am not poor by any means. I can afford food, clothes and rent. But I have no money to spare.
I can't save much at all, and whenever I do save something it seems to come up a minor emergency or two. And then my money is gone again. Such is life!
I don't expect people to help me reach my goal in a "quick fix" sort of way. I am not that popular or special in any way really.
But! If you could spare a coin or two, I will still appreciate that small amount immensely. ♥
I hope to reach my goal within a few years at least, and until then I myself will save whatever scraps I can to put into this fund. Slowly, slowly I will reach my goal! At least progress won't go backwards!
Thank you for taking your time to read this. Take care! ♥