Life is FOR SURE super unpredictable and things can happen that never in our wildest dreams would we ever imagine would come our way.

Being a single mom at 42 years old was definitely not something I had in mind for myself. But then, being diagnosed with stage four gallbladder cancer, out of the blue… with no warning… and no symptoms, truly was a mindblower that I still, in these two weeks since being diagnosed, have not yet been able to wrap my head around.

Obviously, the questions come: Why me? Did I do something to bring this on? Should I have done anything different in my life that would have prevented this or avoided this? At the end of the day, none of these questions matter because it's here and it's not going anywhere.

The hardest part for me out of all of this is that I found out by chance when I was scheduled to get a procedure done, and that is what revealed what was happening internally that not even blood work gave any indicator of. And for it to already be at stage four is a harsh reality and immense load of pressure that I have no other choice but to fight with every ounce of my soul. Chemo is my only option because the cancer has already moved to some lymph nodes and a mass has grown attached to my liver…. So surgery is not possible.

My oncologist described and gave me the information and side effects of the chemotherapy medicines that I'll be using, and unfortunately, it will make my immune system weak, so being around other people, specifically children who carry germs, is not the best option for me while I'm in chemo. That means being away from my daughter, which is my main source of desire to even go through this and attempt to beat the 50% survival rate.

Financially, this is gonna be an unexpected burden on my family and I can’t help but feel guilty. My mom, who herself is recovering from a hip replacement, has had to hire wonderful helpers that will be there for me on days that I can anticipate I will not be feeling like even smiling.

My New diet plan is all fresh green vegetables and a few types of fruits and of course….. the healthy ones are the most expensive.

My insurance doesn’t cover one of chemo meds and it costs more than a car payment

Asking for help is not always easy and everyone is fighting their own battles in life. I just know any little bit will relieve my mom and stepdad of extra stress in addition to having my daughter to care for as well.

I pray I'm equipped with the strength that I will need to get through this because I am honestly overwhelmed with fear.

thank you for taking the time to read this and I’m grateful for life.