I've gone back and forth quite a bit as to whether or not this is something I should do. But it's been recommended several times over the past few months so I'm going to take the leap and see where it goes.

The past year and a half has been rough on our family.

Benjamin sustained a traumatic brain injury towards the end of 2023. We immediately saw a significant decline in his demeanor and his abilities. He was no longer able to work, could not navigate a grocery store without getting lost, lost some mobility, and began to struggle with delusional thinking and paranoia. We traveled to California for SPECT scans which confirmed injuries on six spots of the brain.

We'd only just begun the consultation process for treatment when we lost our home to a fire in September of 2024. We had been living off of our savings and AFLAC payments for a while at this point. Very little survived the fire, but we did manage to pull out a Bible, a bouncy ball, and our marriage license.

A few weeks later, Benjamin was diagnosed with schizophrenia that is believed to be the result of his injury. Psychiatric disorders and traumatic brain injury often go hand in hand.

During all of this, he attempted to take his own life and it was by the grace of God alone that his mind was too clouded to be successful. Suicide and traumatic brain injury also go hand in hand far too often....imagine living inside of a mind that is constantly losing the abilities it once had, and then is consistently telling you things that aren't true.

He is now in a long-term treatment facility and will remain there for the next year and a half. His one and only goal right now is to heal and repair as much as is possible with the help of some great doctors and therapists. His healing is linked to ours. After that, the path for treatment is unclear but we do know this is something that will likely last a lifetime.

We were unable to secure housing in California where Benjamin's treatment facility is. I had to drive myself, the kids, and our dog across the country to keep a roof over our heads. We're staying with family temporarily.

While we work through grieving the loss of our family as it was, we are also working towards rebuilding a new family--one that is fueled by the power of perseverance, hope, and redemption.

Benjamin is unlikely to ever work again, so the task of paying the bills is now on me.

Because of this, I've chosen to work towards a Masters Degree in Education and Curriculum Development.

I'm continuing to homeschool the children, and yes, we've made sure to plug into some wonderful social opportunities through camps, co-ops, local groups, and church. American Heritage Girls and Trail Life have been huge catalysts of healing for both of the kids. For those that will surely ask, the children and I both felt they had endured too much change too quickly to also interrupt their education, so for now they will continue to learn at home under the umbrella of an amazing school.

I work a part time job and was just hired for another which will occupy many more of my hours each week.

Benjamin and I had started an online store several years ago which fell apart at the same time our lives did. So, I've also been putting a few hours each week into fixing the website, updating product lines, and everything that comes with running a small (not even fully operational yet) business. Along with the dream of someday being a steady stream of income, our greatest hope is that this business will be a means by which we can help others whose lives have been affected by mental health and other forms of trauma.

I continue to remain active in Benjamin's care in all the ways I can. "For better or worse" and "in sickness and health" are not simple words we speak at a fancy ceremony - they are a covenant.

As a mother who was in survival mode for quite some time, my primary goal has been to ensure the safety of my children. Right now, that means making sure both our current situation and our future is secure. But at the same time, I recognize how important the "right now" is on an emotional level as they are healing from having lost so much.

The plate I've been given is one I carry with as much strength as I can muster each and every day. Time management is not my greatest skill but I've been forced to master it.

A successful GoFundMe campaign will allow me to lighten the load I'm carrying and put more focus on my children, regaining our footing, and our healing.

Donations will go directly towards:

Paying assessment fees each term as I complete my courses

Purchasing study materials as needed

Paying off medical debt that was acquired from Benjamin's shoulder surgery (this was several months before the brain injury), plus ER visits and ambulance rides that were necessary after TBI

Saving for a security deposit, and first/last month's rent on a place of our own

Re-purchasing the things we'll need for a new home-- we've been able to replace clothes, toys, books, electronics, and those sorts of things. But because we had to move in with family for the time being, we've not yet tackled replacing the "big" things like furniture, pots and pans, etc.

Replacing some sentimental items which are not necessities but would mean a lot to the kids after losing them in the fire (ie: souvenirs from our travels, my son's collection of historical items, my daughter's lemonade stand)

Travel costs for 1-2 weekends over the next 18 months so the kids and I can visit with Benjamin

Funds for therapeutic activities for the children such as horseback riding and other classes that are intended to help kids learn how to handle grief, loss, and trauma (yes, we do have a professional helping us to navigate all of this as well).

If the list of things I have to cover could be shortened with your help, I will be able to put SO much more time and energy towards creating new memories and healing with the kids. GoFundMe is not a long-term solution, but it is a step towards achieving long term goals.

Your donations will let me lighten my mental load so more of my headspace can focus where it matters the most.

Thank you for reading and sharing. Thank you for your prayers, and thank you for supporting us through these difficult years as we find our way back to solid ground.