5 years ago, my life took a devastating wrong turn. It still amazes me how one person's choices can affect the lives of so many people. I'll never forget February 22nd, 2019. I was 42, pregnant with our fourth child, and holding the yellow legal-size piece of paper containing the dear Jane letter.

It wasn't that crisis that changed so many people's lives; it was my poor choices, negative coping skills, emotional immaturity, and unwillingness to take suggestions that forever changed my family's path.

Despite giving myself weekly injections, Lillian was born at 31 weeks, weighed less than 3 pounds, and was not breathing when she entered the world. She's a fighter and was discharged in less than a month. I developed severe postpartum depression and became an emotionally wrecked woman. I was severely codependent and clung to anyone or anything, which made me an easy target. It took less than a year for me to have lost everything. I was homeless, carless, jobless, and penniless. Worse than that, the man who had abandoned us suddenly became the ideal parent. I mutated into the woman people crossed the street to get away from.

I'd like to tell you everything ended happily ever after, but it didn't. My father passed away, and I don't know if he was ever proud of me again. Both of my older children graduated from high school, and I was not invited. My oldest son went to court and made his stepmother legally his mother. So, it's been a horrible long road to crawl. And despite doing the next right thing, my family has still chosen not to welcome me back. I have to respect that and just keep going. It's taken about a year and a half, but I finally started coming out of darkness and was moving into the light.

I was able to get a job and bought a car, which I'm currently paying off. I rent a two-bedroom house so my "littles" can come over every other weekend.

I've had to work twice as hard this time in order to get back the things that I lost. I truly do treasure things like clean sheets and warm water.

I wish I could tell you happily ever after at this point, but just when I start to have some normalcy in my life, it's been flipped upside down again. A few months ago, I was hospitalized with sepsis and didn't recover as quickly as I hoped. I went through all my paid time off and the small amount of savings I had.

Reluctantly, I had to resign my position because I couldn't make it through a day on the floor.

I'm doing a lot better than I was, and I'm interviewing for multiple positions. I should have employment in the next few weeks.

The last 5 years have been a humbling experience. I've learned that no one can make it through life on their own.

That brings me to GoFundMe. The last year, I tried to just do the next right thing in hopes that someday I'll have my family back.

I'm about to lose it all; I can't afford my rent and my car is about to be repossessed.

I'm not giving up; I'm asking for help.

Instead of a birthday gift card on Friday, please GoFundMe a $1 or $200. Every cent counts. God can take the one and turn it into one thousand.