Hello, My name is Trumaine Mack, and to be truthful I'm not the best at talking about myself or talking about things in general.....But I guess this is at least worth the try right? I first want to start by saying that I feel very guilty for asking for financial help; that may come off as odd since I am doing the said guilty thing right now. I just want to tell my story the best I can and if you want to help me I would appreciate it a lot I don't want to come off as needy but I guess I am..especially at the moment ...Now that I have somewhat eased my guilty conscience. I was born on March 11th, 2001 (Just turned 24), and I honestly can say my life has been more difficult than normal. I know things could be worse, but sometimes I feel like I am cosmically cursed sometimes lol. But starting with my birth and though I dont know exactly how it happened but since being born I have had a broken clavicle which isn't uncommon for babies, I believe, but my case was rather severe and my mother blames the nurse but I suspect it was after birth that I was injured but its purely subjective at this point. Anyway, I had to live with this injury all my life(Even now) My mother said that I could have potentially lost my arm if the surgery didn't work and I wasn't allowed to do sports or much physical anything as a child, which in hindsight it hindered me quite a bit. All my childhood I was attached to my mother by the hip mostly because I wasn't allowed to be physical or "play" leading me to be heavily reliant on her love and company. Most of the times I wasn't with her I was abused and not taken care of, I was burned with an iron once, pushed down the stairs leading me to lose a chunk of skin on my eyebrow etc.. that was when i wasn't with her. Now my life wasn't all bad at first, i had both my parents in my home when i was a toddler up until i was 4 years old. I had an older sister, but she was from a different father in a marriage my mom had with her father. one of the first memories i had was the night before my father left our family, obviously as a child i have no idea what really happened between my mom and my dad as my dad was a drug dealer at the time and a gangster etc. my mom worked minimum wage jobs so I'm sure reality was a lot different than my childhood. Back to the night my dad left for good; he brought my older brother to our house, and I got to meet him. I remember playing with toys and enjoying my time with my family. we had ice cream and made our own sundaes. I fell asleep so happy; surrounded by love and family, My father got me into superheroes and Cartoons (Which became anime after seeing it in bits in pieces as a kid). The next day they were gone, and i would ask my mom when they'd be back. I don't remember getting a clear answer but i also didn't question my mother, i grew up pretty obedient or so i think I'm my perspective. Obviously we all do some crazy things as children though i can remember spending most of my time being creative with my toys, (I used to have a huge toybox with crap ton of stuffed animals, I remember a large frog especially). I wasn't allowed to play sports, so i spent my time in my room just imagining things. One of the reasons i felt as if i was pretty obedient was because how my mother used to discipline; like most single black mothers, she had to be pretty brutal and it didn't help that she had anger management issues. She used to punch me in the chest or beat us with extension cords or hangers or well, anything she could find sometimes. But the worst punishment I ever had was being forced to stand in a corner for the entire night, I got so tired I ended up throwing up on the wall...(idk maybe I was sick). I also ended up sleeping in that throw-up...I was too scared of what she would do to me if I left my spot. I'm sure there were times I deserved beatings, but most of the time I believe it was due to grades in elementary school. The reason for the poor grades was because i now had a stepfather who was an alcoholic and also had mental illness problems. He and my mother would get into constant arguments and would attack each other and one time he threw her into the basement and she pleaded ME to help her as he held the door. (Imagine that...being 8 or 9 years old and trying to move a grown man out of his will scary...) It didn't help she stayed with him for another 5 or so years. Between that, she picked up drinking as well and stopped taking her medication or taking the medication with drinking...i am not sure. At that point, they were both arguing at all different times of night breaking things and or throwing things while my sister and I were trying to sleep. To cope i borrowed my grandfather's computer, and at first i just innocently surfed the web looking at Star Wars videos (I loved Lego Starwars videos back then and i still love star wars). I picked up Anime as well and fully immersed myself in losing touch with reality for at least those moments. Now it wasn't about how creative i was with toys now i could watching these crazy things on the internet...until i discovered adult entertainment ...now i had seen it once before; my cousin had shown it to me when i was about 6 or 7. I quickly got addicted to the feeling of release. I also began eating a lot...mixed with video games..I found my three main ways of occupying my mind to get away from how messed up my life was as a child. There are somethings i cant even say happened to me because it wouldn't even be able to be put someone in the understanding of the abuse and neglect and the dealing with a mentally ill mother and an abusive stepfather. It didn't help much going to see family members with more than me...I was never envious but i deffiently didn't understand how they were rich and i was poor. or how i could almost feel how much easier their lives were compared to mine. I didn't know my dad and my mom constantly embarrassed me not only by her actions but also making me feel like i was the problem. I had to deal with family outside just watching things crumble as if they didn't care at all about me or my sister. Times got so bad my mother moved us into my grandparents' home and I had to stay there, now in puberty Im still learning about my body but also under the constant stress of my life in and outside of school. I'd like to say there were small victories here and there in my adolescence. In totality, I had to deal with a lot of mental issues from 11-14; that was when my grandfather became my guardian after my mother missed a court date. I failed to add my father came into my life again and our relationship grew as it didn't feel like anything changed between us, would stay with him on the weekends and during that time as a teen that was the only time I could relax as living with my grandparents it was always something going on. My mother ended up leaving the state and commuting along several states; getting arrest warrants and being in prison a few times too. We hadn't heard from her for so long my sister did a missing persons report and found out she was locked up. Once she got back to Rochester she was still pretty bad, shed been in an out of mental wards and my grandfather would force me and my sister to visit her. That didn't upset me, but before this all happened, when I was 11 I asked him for therapy and he said we didn't need it. I apologize if this is a lot I'm trying to sum this all up to get to my life right now but worse things happened to me and my sister and I'm not exactly comfortable talking about it. Once I was in my mid-teens I began doing sports (Even with the broken clavicle), but I still felt like an outsider to my peers as I seemed to not understand them much and maybe because my life was so wacky. I had a girlfriend who ended up breaking my heart pretty bad (but...i don't really talk about that). By the time I was a senior in high school I was depressed and I wanted to take my life every day I woke up. I tore my labrum during my last season and I wrestled through it for 3 months. After that I basically had nothing and people were asking me what I was going to do with my life so I panicked and put myself 50k in debt and nothing to show for it as I began flunking out of school do to Covid and also me quitting....Now I've spent three years trying to put the pieces of my life back together ...My grandfather and I had an argument and I decided to leave, leaving me to become homeless for a while now. I left out a lot but I realized how long this story is and have a lot more info on my life on my YouTube channel (DangerblueDanny) and my tiktok(same name). The money you send will help me build my life and...ill never be able to repay you...Im sorry..