I was suddenly forced to evaluate my whole life. I have cancer,.....wait,......what? What does that really mean? How bad is it? Can I still work and earn money? Will I be able to have children after chemo? No hair for a year? Surgery to implant a port line to my main artery? Is there any way I can do this by myself without anyone knowing? If I move back to CA to be near family will I still have medical insurance? etc, etc, etc
So that led to lots of heavy prayer, reading the Word more than ever, and me freezin' some eggs on the fly in early September. Who would have thought? I am happy to report that we were blessed to get two (2) mature eggs to give us a small hope for a big miracle once I beat this illness and "get my healthy back"! So YAY for the eggs! Boo that the insurance wouldn't help us cover it.....$6K was our cost (thank u livestrong for the free meds tho!)
Then chemo started right after the eggs (Sept 17th) so that now meant no working, no immune system, no hair. Yikes!...that was a hard one for me....no hair! Oh no, not the hair, the precious hair!! For those of you that know me and my long hair.....former long hair, that is....but it's only hair and it grows back, and it might grow back different so that is exciting to think about at times.
My first treatment went really good....I even zumba'ed for 20 minutes one day I was feeling so great,.....I was thinking this cancer ain't got nothing on me.....I got this!....and then all of a sudden I got a bad fever and was hospitalized for a week...brutal! The chemo I am on for these first two months is some "gnarly" stuff, hence the hair loss and no working. They said I would feel like a truck ran me over, and now I know what they meant! At first I thought I could get thru this without anyone knowing and taking time away from work. Ha!, what a joke! It consumes your life, but it won’t consume my spirit. Chemo kills all your bad AND good cells at the same time. So as much as you want to be productive and take advantage of the time off, your energy is wiped out and your body hurts with pains it has never felt before.
I am grateful that my job has been supportive and I have medical benefits. I just started TDI for 40 days at 58% of my pay, which is something, but then there's nothing after that until you are out of work for 6 consecutive months. You would think after all the years I have worked and paid into government programs, there would be something for a serious illness like cancer!..but I guess not. All you can do is be proactive and pray with firm faith that God will provide, which is what I am doing.
I have 5 months of chemo, then some surgeries, and then radiation is planned for this wild and crazy adventure of mine. It will take about a year for all that I think. Tomorrow marks my second chemo treatment so I am gearing up for that right now. Wish me luck and pray for me! The nurses are so wonderful at Queens, but I don't want a return trip to the hospital if I can avoid it! NOoo!!
As much as I LOVE to help others, it is extremely hard for me to ask for help in times of personal need. I would rather struggle alone, but God is telling me to rely on Him and others during this faith walk. In addition to the egg freezing process ($6K), my out of pocket medical copays are $5K total and we have spent alot of money on extra expenses such as medical supplies, prescriptions, organic bpa-free home products, hats, scarves, and a wig. I don't know how we will make it through this and normally that would freak me out, but I trust the Lord will provide what we need, and I have surrendered my fear and worry to Him. He is giving me the strength to overcome this battle and stand firm in my faith at all times! And by His stripes I am healed!
I am humbly asking for your prayers, and if you are in a position to offer financial support (no pressure!), please know your donation will specifically be used to cover medical expenses, the cost of the egg freezing, and basic living necessities until I can work again. I pray you will be blessed abundantly by whatever you can do to help. I want to thank you with the most sincere and deep appreciation for your overwhelming love and support! I am determined to squeeze some SWEET Lemonade from these Sour Lemons! I will endure and conquer in His Mighty Name!
All my Love, Lauren
Phil. 4:13 - I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me
- Brian Murphy
- Kurt Matsumoto
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