After having an incredible year full of love and joy, moving and moving on, celebrating and playing, the last thing I expected was a breast cancer diagnosis—not that anyone ever expects it. I (we, as a family) had been hoping to skate through just one year without a major capital T being dropped.

Last week, I was diagnosed with Stage 1 invasive lobular carcinoma, aka Breast Cancer. The good news is I caught it early, it hasn’t spread, it’s only on one side, and I’m grateful to be having surgery quickly – next Thursday, Jan 11th.

Let’s back up a minute. If you don’t know me well, you may not know of the losses over the recent years. In 2008, my first daughter Emerson Juliette passed away two days after birth. Ten years later (2018), my brother Hunter took his life. Two months later, my father Harry was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. In 2019, my husband filed for divorce and my dad was cleared of cancer—only to discover a couple months later his next round of cancer was CNS lymphoma in his brain. In March 2020, my grandmother died at the age of 97, add to that year Covid, shutdowns, school at home, and my job placing medics across the country to respond to the pandemic. I had eye surgery that December of 2020 just to round it out. In Feb 2022, my father died, leaving me with heartache and loss of a lifeline, and we buried him this year.

I’ve lost my daughter, brother and dad. A triple whammy plus throw on divorce, and I’m a walking capital T. And here we are again, and I refuse to let this take me out.

Breast cancer is not my death sentence. I refuse to let it be.

After a diagnostic mammogram and biopsy, I have an official diagnosis of stage one (caught it early) invasive lobular carcinoma. Breast Cancer. No family history of breast cancer. Came out of left field (mammogram in May was clear). And not at all something I was prepared for…I am transitioning in my job to become an independent financial advisor with Northwestern Mutual after two years of recruiting. So again, timing sucks.

So what’s next?

Somehow muster the courage and strength to tell my girls

MRI and genetic testing

Figure out which surgery and when…putting energy out for Jan 11

Do all the tests, scans, and prep needed for surgery

Transition to a Financial Advisor

Figure out how to pay for everything

Pray

I have faith as small as a mustard seed. I know in my darkest hour, God walks beside me, comforts me and holds my hand. He takes my fear, leads me along green pastures. So, I will continue to lift my eyes to the hills, trust in Him, and lean not on my own understanding.

Join me in my walk through this next chapter. Possibly the first chapter of my first book.

Gut punch. Get up. Put on my big girl panties, sparkly eye shadow, red lipstick, and lacy bra.

A friend shared this verse with me today…

Isaiah 40:31

but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength;

they shall mount up with wings like eagles;

they shall run and not be weary;

they shall walk and not faint.

Let us all renew our strength, mount up with eagle’s wings, run effortlessly, and walk valiantly.