For the Dad Who Never Stopped Trying - Melvin Bulauan

This morning, on July 14th -- his birthday -- we learned that our dad has passed away.

When our dad was a young boy in the Philippines, his family knew him as joyful, curious, and full of energy. He was always asking questions and always moving. That same spark stayed with him when he came to the United States. He grew up in San Francisco and built a new life while staying close to his roots.

He began working at a young age, taking on part-time jobs and helping wherever he could. Though quiet in nature, he was deeply driven. In middle and high school, he poured his energy into track and field, earning numerous awards. He ran with purpose, showing the same determination that would carry him through many of life’s challenges.

As an immigrant and person of color in a city of contrasts, our father faced real obstacles both personal and systemic. He lived with bipolar disorder, depression, and schizophrenia, and he struggled for decades with substance use. He was human. These were not just private battles. They were compounded by a cycle of incarceration and institutionalization, often worsened by the failure of the systems meant to support people like him, systems that too often punish instead of heal. 

Yet despite all of this, he never stopped trying to show up. He called us, no matter where he was from a mental health facility, from jail, from wherever he could reach us. He called even when we were upset with him. He wanted us to know that he cared, that his love had not disappeared.

Those who knew him will remember his ability to bring joy to heavy moments. He could make you laugh when things felt impossibly hard. That gift was his own way of reaching out a way of lifting others even while quietly carrying his own pain.

We loved him deeply. We carry him now in the questions we ask, in the ways we laugh, and in the quiet strength we try to hold each day.

Now that he is gone, we are not only grieving, we are also trying to give him the dignified farewell he deserves. We are asking for help to cover the costs of his funeral and memorial. Any amount, no matter the size, makes a difference. And if you’re not in a place to give, we ask that you please share this message.

Thank you for helping us say goodbye to the man who will always be our dad, in every way that matters.

From Anjru, Micare, Annika and Milana