Ryan's Top Surgery Fund

Hi, my name is Ryan Mae Howard. I was named after my grandmother, a great woman. I am non-binary (pronouns: they/them/he/him), and here's a quick story of me. I was born in the mid-80s in central California where I grew up with my brother and sister as wild country kids through the 90s. After graduating high school in a mountain town that my parents had eventually moved us out to, I came out as queer. It was 2005; I was 19. That was the year that I dubbed myself with two n's (iykyk) on good ol' myspace.com and chopped my long hair.

Since then, my life has been full of experiences. Some good, some even better, and of course, some difficult ones, too. Luckily, throughout my life, I have been blessed. Along the chapters of my life, I have had the pleasure of knowing some lovely people, many of whom I call friend or even family. These folks have individually played a role in believing in me, encouraging me to keep going, and being there for triumphs as well as defeats. If this has reached any of those people, thank you for being there. Although, I have to admit there were times when I lost hope and the drive to "just keep moving forward," and yet here I am writing this now to you. I call that a win.

As I have grown in mind and spirit, I have also grown in body. I have overcame some harsh times with my health that brought forward something in me that I had lost track of time for. That was me, as a child, promising myself that I would grow up to be my most authentic self. I knew then as I know now who that person is, and now I am within reach of something that will change my life in ways I've only imagined so far; Something that I have wanted since the sixth grade - no boobs. To finally be free of chest binders and be able to breathe deep on a long hike or swim without a t-shirt to hide in. That glorious moment when I can finally just wear a tank top and feel the shirt on my bare back. My body has never felt right with this chest, and I know that what I want is obtainable now more than ever.

Here's the thing, doing something like this takes a lot of time and has a high cost. My life partner, Niki, and I have been saving for this, but even so, it is a pretty penny when only one future-spouse can work to meet every day costs and demands. In my cost analysis, I have calculated our goal of $4500 by summing up the cost of travel expenses, medical supplies, and living expenses for six-weeks of surgery recovery. Here is the hard part, asking for help.

I have consulted a surgeon in San Francisco, and we have set a surgery date of October 13, 2021 (woohoo!). If you are able to, please donate! Your donation towards my gender affirming top surgery would not only be appreciated but change my life in a way that I may never be able to repay you, but I will never forget your kindness and compassion to help me reach my goals in life. Also know that any dollar amount helps. I know that sometimes things are tight, and as much as you'd love to give loads of cash over because your heart wants to, your financial budget might say otherwise. So, give what you can, if you can.

If you've read this and have decided to donate or not, thank you for your time and thought. If nothing else, celebrate with me on that big day by enjoying something that makes you feel really good. That day we can each share a moment of love for our self.

Kindly with love,

Ryan H.