Please help me help the love's of my life.

This is something I never thought I would have to do. I have terminal cancer. Stage 4 Hypopharyngeal Squamous Cell Carcinoma. Please read until the end.

My wife and I met almost 19 years ago. We will be married for 15 years in April. We have an amazing 13-year-old son who excels in sports and has amazing grades. My wife and I had our ups and downs over the years. In July of 2020 we decided to turn our lives around and quit drinking for our kid and ourselves. Those close to us know that alcohol was bad for both of us and far we have come. In April of 2021 we left our home in Montana for new opportunities. Our 5-year goal was to fix our credit and buy a home. With determination, positivity, great jobs and sheer will, we met our goal much sooner and started looking at homes to purchase. We found the one and on August 2, 2022, we became proud first-time home owners. We both had great jobs and we made so many plans for our beautiful half-acre yard and couldn't wait to get started. I started to install a privacy fence right away and we were looking at pools that we could buy in the spring. Then our world fell apart.

On August 31, 2022 I had a coughing fit and a lump appeared on my neck. It started to hurt and my wife forced me to go to urgent care. Our NP had a feeling something wasn't right and I was sent to Ambulatory care where the lump was aspirated and cancer cells were found in my lymph node. On October 6, 2022, I was diagnosed with Hypopharyngeal Squamous Cell Carcinoma. Due to how fast the tumor was growing I had to take short term disability because of the location of said tumor and the physical demands of my job. It was found that I had Stage 1 in my throat at the primary site and Stage 3 in my lymph nodes. We went to Kansas University for a second opinion and were told we had two options. One being surgery, which carried the very real possibility of ending up with a permanent tracheotomy and feeding tube. The second was to do Chemotherapy and Radiation treatment. The first sounded much more, well, permanent so with trepidation, we opted for option 2. I underwent cisplatin chemotherapy and radiation November 3 through December 23, 2022. Six days later while driving up the road another car ran a red light and t-boned me. They hit me not once but twice. Totaled my vehicle and piled on the hospital visits. Thankfully another driver had their dashcam running to prove that the other driver was at fault. This greatly hindered my recovery from chemo and radiation and with the additional injury from the accident I was unable to return to work March 2023 as planned. This is when my short-term disability had run out. I did not have long term disability although I was sure that I had elected for it with work.

On March 20,2023 I had a PET scan done that revealed that the primary cancer site was free, however the Stage 3 lymph nodes were still cancerous. Surgery was the only option. On April 7, 2023 I had a Radical Neck Dissection done to remove my right neck lymph nodes. Because the tumor had continued to grow and attach itself to many different biological entities, they had to "Sacrifice" major nerves, muscles and veins in my neck. In my wife's words:

" The surgery was devastating physically. They "sacrificed" his Vagal nerve which controls all involuntary organ /muscle function on the right side of his body. The Hypoglossal nerve that controls his vocal cords, swallowing ability and tongue use. The Accessory nerve which affects the way he is able to move his arm and shoulder on the right side. They removed his Sternocleidomastoid muscle which holds your head up and protects sensitive nerves, veins and arteries in your neck. They also had to remove his jugular vein and repair his carotid artery. Please look up what these nerves affect in a body. It is terrifying. It has affected every organ and muscle on the right side of his body. He also had a pectoral flap done. They took his pectoral muscle and flipped it up to his neck to protect what nerves are left. Between scar tissue and muscles trying to compensate he is in excruciating muscular and nerve pain every day."

We were informed the surgery was a success. I went back to work mid-May and was only able to do my job for 3-4 weeks, missing days due to pain and suffering before my doctors told me that I wasn't physically able to continue to work. I started physical therapy right away. I actually love my job.

In July 2023 I went back for the first follow up PET scan post-surgery to insure they had removed all of the cancer. I was given a "clean bill of health". I was told by my Oncologist that she was comfortable saying that I was cancer free." The problem was, I didn't feel cancer free. When they asked me to Ring the Bell, I declined. I knew something wasn't right.

On September 1, 2023, after months of physical therapy, I was informed that I was not and probably would not improve my mobility. Therefore, I was not given the okay to return to work. I was very sick at the time and on September 8, 2023 my wife called 911 because I was so sick. I spent 9 days in the hospital with pneumonia. I had what they thought was an infection draining into my mediastinum from my surgery in April. They called in a Cardiothoracic surgeon because of the location. They operated but found no infection. I ended up having a seizure post-surgery due to pressure placed on my Vagal region by a PA applying a pressure bandage. That sucked.

In October 2023, I had my follow up CT scan to make sure the big "C" was still nonexistent. October 6, 2023, one year to the date that I was diagnosed with cancer, I found out there was a nodule found in my left lung. October 17, 2023 a biopsy was done. On October 20, 2023 I was informed that the cancer spread to my left lung. Although they could not be "sure" it was the same cancer, due to the growth rate of the previous metastasizes, that is what they are going with.

October 31, 2023, we went for a second opinion to Barnes Jewish Hospital in St. Louis, MO. Five minutes into the appointment we asked the doctor to look at my swollen red legs. I was taken to ultrasound immediately to look for DVT because I had cellulitis. I was put on antibiotics. They did not work and had to have more antibiotics. Which prolonged treatment planning. It took a month to move forward.

I was finally able to meet with a Radiation Oncologist. The medical plan is that I am to have *Cyberknife radiation treatment. On December 4 2023 I went in for staging for treatment. Unfortunately, the CT was not able to "see" the tumor in my lung. In the meantime, between September CT scans performed while hospitalized and scans for the cancer follow up a new tumor has appeared. It was too small to biopsy at this point.

I finally had a CT scan yesterday so markers can be placed so the *Cyberknife will be able to pinpoint the tumor and hopefully eradicate it. I will have gold markers placed in my lung December 27, 2023 as long as my health holds. Unfortunately, I have been too sick to handle any business. Negative for COVID and Flue but sick none the less. My neuropathy in my hands has made it so I have to be handed my pills. I had a large hematoma that appeared out of nowhere this last Friday (likely caused by blood clots from the cellulitis) where my last surgery in September was performed. My eye also collected blood spots.

We have survived financially throughout this whole ordeal. We have exhausted our savings. We bought our home with two incomes. We lost one income within a month of taking on so much responsibility. My wife has done her best to support us. The sicker I have gotten she has had to take more time off from work resulting in her taking FMLA to take care of me and missing the last 2 weeks without pay.

Long story long. Our outgo has been much more than our income. We are just trying to make it through to my next treatment appointment. Thank you for taking the time to read.

If you are not able to help, please keep us in your thoughts and share.