Medical & counseling & Shay’s end of life expenses

{ Born Sleeping - Baby boy Shay Hoang-Liem Bayliss }

Our baby was born sleeping on November 3rd, 2022 at 6:21pm. He was 1 lb 2 oz and 11 inches long. He was beautiful and perfect in every way. He looked like Shane and Kara’s brother. A perfect mix between the two. He had the most precious and cute nose. He had 10 fingers and 10 toes. His body had zero imperfections, his head was smooth and round, and he had hair on his head and the tiniest eye lashes. Shay was Shaun’s identical twin and that breaks my heart into a million pieces. They looked exactly the same.

This was the toughest experience I have ever gone through. Shay was delivered via c section and I knew that I was going to give birth to a baby who had already left to heaven. I was worried that I would not make the surgery because I was sick as well. Waiting to have the surgery was such a sad time for Shaun and me. We prayed over our son in my belly and Shaun played worship songs to Shay.

When I saw our baby boy, I said to Shaun, “He was worth it!! He was worth it.” I got to meet him and hold him in my arms. I got to hug him and kiss him. I got to smell his sweet skin. Oh how sad I am to write this. This is such a tragedy my friends.

Even more difficult is seeing our kids suffer. They had limited time with Shay. They sang him songs, read him a book, sat with him, and held him gently. Their dreams of being an older brother and sister were crushed. None of us were ready to say good bye. Again, my heart is broken in a million pieces.

We ask for your prayers at this time and if anyone has experienced a still birth or a miscarriage, please reach out to me. I would like to keep in touch with you and speak/text with you. I would like to know how you managed to move forward, what helped you, etc. Shaun and I are very lost as to our next steps.

In lieu of flowers and gifts, if your heart is inclined, our family is directing your generosity toward unexpected expenses (medical and for Shay’s end of life) and especially grief counseling for Shaun and me, and for our two kids. I am having a lot of anxiety, post traumatic stress, depression, etc. for what I went through. Our children are having a tough time processing everything that just happened and losing their baby brother. Mental health is our top priority of care for all of us and in particular our children. We also hope to be able to take Shane and Kara on a little staycation to help them with making new, happy memories. Venmo: @katiebayliss and last four phone digits are 0005.

Our friends also set up a meal train for our family while I recover from surgery and our family heals from the sadness we are experiencing. https://mealtrain.com/r41r6v

We plan to have a Celebration of Life for our baby Shay. We do not know when we plan to have it. When we have more information, we will share it with you.

Thank you for your prayers, love, and support. You have helped our family more than you know.

About the photo, we smiled through the heartbreak. Our kids said it didn’t feel right to smile but I asked them to because I wanted to have good memories of Shay. I asked my sister to get us a cupcake to celebrate Shay’s birthday. He is still our baby, our son, and a brother to Shane and Kara. I wanted cheerful memories with him even though it was not what we felt inside our core.

As for as our faith, I don’t know why we are journeying through this dark valley. It is our hope that God continues to shower His love and grace on us and our children. We pray that the purpose of this pain will become more clear in the days to come. I do know our God is a loving God. I believe He is protecting my heart…our hearts from more heartache. We may not understand why this is happening from this side of heaven. We hold onto the hope that Shay is with Jesus, and our family and friends who have left us already. Shay is in great care and we will meet him again.

Thank you for reading and being a part of our journey. We love you guys.

Sincerely,

Shaun and Katie Bayliss

#trisomy18 #t18 #stillbirth #stillblessed #miscarriage