Flowers and sympathy for my father's funeral

In the memories of my father, Van Han Nguyen, who passed away the 21st of November this year. It was a rough year, Dad, but you will  always be my No1 hero.


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I was only 17 years old when my father had his stroke.  I remember not having any idea what a stroke was. I know most fathers are loving, but my father gave me more love than I could ever ask for. The most important thing for me tonight is to share my story to you guys to honor my father.

When I think of my father, I think of unconditional love. My father was a veteran from the Vietnam war. He brought back the corpses of deceased victims of the war to their families so they could have a proper burial. My father then got imprisoned far from the city, but was lucky enough to escape to Canada a couple years later.  My family and I then lived in poverty. We had no idea how to escape the poverty for a better life. Attending University felt like an impossible dream, especially considering that nobody in our neighborhood did so.

But my father believed in me. He worked two jobs in order to give me the opportunity to attend University. “Just for the opportunity”, he said. Despite the struggles and sacrifices, he would work endlessly in order to give our family a chance for a better life. By working at minimum wage for two jobs, he barely saved enough for a year's worth of University. My father enslaved himself and unfortunately the amount of work took a toll on his health. He was a heavy factory worker from 6am to 4pm during weekdays, and completed his duties as a dishwasher from 5pm to 11pm 6 days a week. He barely slept, and I remember not being able to see him often.  I remember him telling me not to visit him at his work because I'm his daughter, and he didn't want me to see that life could be that rough.

My father worked this schedule for over two years. In 2009, my father had a stroke that left him half paralyzed. I didn’t understand the consequences this would have on his life at the time. I was devastated, but grateful that he was alive. Little did I know how much the stroke will have on his time alive.

It breaks my heart to say that he passed away on November 23rd of this year. I look back and think of what he did for me and my family. Even though I did my best to enjoy what's been left since his stroke, I can’t help but drown in sorrows that he couldn’t live the life he deserved.  Before the incident, he loved working with his hands. He was then reduced to having only one functional arm. The doctors told us that he had no quality of life, and that he should ''go''. -but it didn't stop him. My father couldn’t do much and spent the majority of his remaining years bedridden.  But as a father and a very proud veteran, his will to live in order to see us grow lasted over 10 years. Countless stroke complications happened throughout the years, but one after the other, he fought fiercely in order to remain in our lives. 

As of June this year, I graduated University. I cannot imagine how proud he must be of me.  But the coronavirus has slowed everything down, and I had to live at another home in the fear of spreading the virus to his already old-and-frail-body.  Not only did we barely get to celebrate my graduation, I wasn’t also able to foresee that his death was coming. Sadly enough, nobody did. In the end, just a couple months after my graduation, he passed away. I am guessing he finally felt at peace when he found out that I graduated, because it was his duty as a father to make sure I do.

I was lucky to have him. Thanks to his dedication, I can see the opportunities that he prepared me for. I had the options to go out and live a better life. To travel and study abroad. And to come back whenever I wanted. As for him, he didn't have as many choices. In fact, there was nothing he could do but stay home, confined in bed, and wait for me to visit him and see me happier than ever. Although I don't think that I deserved all of that, he showed me what unconditional love is.

In over 10 years, he has been cut from the outer world and would receive little to no visitor. With my father’s fading relationships with his friends, very few people will attend his funeral. I love my father more than anything else in this world and it saddens me to know that his endless love and patience could not be honored to the amount it deserves. My father strived to live the longest life possible in order to watch me and my family grow. He wished he lived longer, but his body wasn't allowing him to anymore. Although it was painful to see him go,  I’m sure he fought for it and thought that it was all worth it. I’d like to use this story of mine to spread nothing but love and compassion to all families. And for all the souls he saved during the Vietnam war, for all the families who experienced something similar, and for all the people who know who I’ve become thanks to him, I'd hope that many, many people will remember him and his beautiful soul. I know times are difficult and not many people may be able to attend his funerals. Any prayers for my father would mean a lot.  The only reason I have created a GoFundMe is in case you would like to donate money for flowers for his funeral (~3$ for a white Rose), which I will personally bring to the funeral myself to show proof of everybody’s sympathy and compassion for his last day on Earth.


Godbless you guys.

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