Emergency Assistance

UPDATE:

I have recently found shelter and been granted approval to finish my classes. I was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder 2 which is such a relief to finally know and understand. I simply couldn't understand what was wrong with me for the longest time and why I couldn't seem to hold a job anymore or snap out of my depression and anxiety. I recently started taking a new medication and it seems to be working very well. Now I am focusing on finishing my last 3 classes to graduate again and have 5 months to do so. I am also focusing on finding a job, as now I believe I can hold one. However, in the mean time. I do need to ask for help and contributions one more time until I can get a job and start earning a paycheck and get my financial aid reinstated. Please help if you are able to.  Any little bit will help until I am able to start earning paychecks. Thank you so much. I love you. Peace and Blessings

I do not have the mental capacity or strength to come up with this right now... so I am going to copy and paste the last facebook status update that I did. 

I am not an animal. I am a human being and I am tired of living like an animal. I am truly hoping and praying that I will actually start this job next week. I never dreamed it would take a month to start a job. I continue to be shocked and disgusted and frustrated... and struggle... and continue to feel that I have zero control... my hands are completely tied... I am at the complete mercy of a faulty/inefficient... uncaring... unkind.. unfair system. I have to count on the mercy and love and understanding and kindness of others...until my situation changes. I just have to continue to hope and pray that people will continue to reach out and offer to help me until things get better. I am thinking of starting a GoFundMe since I have no way to access paypal donations anymore since I got that levy placed on my bank account that I am not going to be able to get lifted anytime soon as it was for several hundred dollars. When it rains it pours. Please let me know if you would be able to contribute to a GoFundMe account that I set up. Please like or comment on this post or send me a private message. I Love You All. Thank You In Advance. Peace and Blessings <3
Sundays are always hard for me... because I cannot go to the regular establishment that I usually hang out at through out the week. I find myself weeping most Sundays now. Not understanding why I must continue to struggle so much. Not understanding why things can't get better for me. I am exhausted. I am tired. I am hungry. I am hot. I am tired of always putting on a brave face and pretending like things "aren't so bad" or telling myself "well things could always be worse." No... the truth is I have hit my breaking point. More than once. I am on the verge of losing it. I cannot go on like this. I am not an animal. I am a human being and I deserve to live like other human beings. I know so many take the basics for granted. I used to. That's just the way it is until you experience something for yourself. This is worse than my worse nightmare. My feet and ankles are swollen again from the heat. I can barely walk. (For those of you not up to speed on my situation... I am living out of my car and have had to off and on for months. It is coming up on a year since I had a steady place to stay) I have been dealing with this for way too long. I started applying for jobs almost a month ago. I have never had to wait this long to start a job. It has been almost a month since I filled out an application, got a call for an interview, had an interview, took a drug test, waited on the results for that and then filled out a request for a background check and am still waiting on the results for that. The background check alone has taken almost 2 weeks. I am still waiting for that to go through. I got food stamps very temporarily... for a few months... while I still had a place to stay... and then that house got sold and I had to go back to living out of my car. I did not have a forwarding address and missed paper work that was sent to me at that old address... the timing was just off... and then I got cut off from the food stamps because I wasn't working at least 20 hours a week (which is completely backwards... if I was working at least 20 hours a week I wouldn't need food stamps so desperately) Now I have to prove that I am looking for work (of course I'm looking for work) in a very specific way through a very specific process with the career resource center 2 towns away. I have to go in person and there is only 1 day a week that it can be done... Wednesdays... only through very specific hours... when I found this out... it was a Wednesday of course... but it was too late to make an appointment that day and I had to wait 24 hours to get my login information anyway... so that already bumps me into having to wait at least another week until next Wednesday. I have never run into so much red tape in my life. To make a long story short... when people are hungry and desperate and have no source of income... they don't have time to wait on all of this bullshit red tape nonsense. And that is how it is with everything now. And there is no way of knowing any of it until you start going through it. I can't make this stuff up. It is now a crime to feed homeless people. What is this world coming to? It's horrifying and disgusting. We treat people that are struggling like they are a disease that we don't want to catch. This system only works for a very select handful of people. We cannot go on like this. I cannot go on like this. I feel I have zero control at this point. In Florida... there are so many people... and there is so much fraud... and everyone else has to suffer for it and is punished for it... in this state's efforts to combat fraud... they have made assistance much more difficult to receive... and the ones that are truly suffering and need are the ones that are suffering and struggling and having trouble getting it. It is a full job in itself trying to get through the red tape and make phone calls and go here and there on a wild goose chase just trying to get food assistance or get a part time retail job. I keep asking myself why me? Why? Why does this seem to just keep going on endlessly? The truth is... it could happen to anyone so easily... in the drop of a hat.... Most people live paycheck to paycheck and are barely making it... so imagine if you suddenly lost your income without warning. Or things didn't work out like you thought they were going to ...or you didn't get that tax refund check you were counting on. Or that student loan money that you had grown accustomed to. Or you suddenly lost your job and just didn't have paychecks anymore. What would you do? What if you didn't have anyone to fall back on or anyone to help you? Then you could very easily end up in the same position... and let me tell you... it can happen very quickly. You can fall in an instant... but it takes much longer to get up... it takes time to dig yourself out of a hole... and some how the hole just keeps getting deeper and deeper... like I didn't even realize how deep a hold could possibly be... I had no idea that rock bottom was so deep and had so many layers and just when you thought it couldn't get any deeper ... then you fall even further down. That's how that goes. We are completely enslaved by money. You can't do much without it. Or without the help from someone that has it. Or without help from someone that has some type of resources. I need help. I cannot keep living out of my car and not having access to showers or not being able to sleep laying down. It is way too hot in Florida to not have proper shelter and air conditioning... and not always having food on top of that is just really shitty. All of this really flares my anxiety and I pretty much just have 24/7 panic attacks. To have zero comfort... no privacy... no income... no resources... no dignity... basically no hope is what it boils down to. I am losing hope. And everyone just keeps telling me "to just hold on" ... "it's bound to get better soon"... or "it's just right around the corner" ... empty words... empty words from people that have never been there and don't understand and don't know what to say... and tell me "to just be thankful" and "things could always be worse" "at least you have a car" These things are not helpful... empty words with lack of compassion and understanding are not helpful. How would you like it if you were hot, hungry, and tired and someone said that to you? You wouldn't like it... trust me. Everyone regurgitates the same words and claims there must be more help available out there... but let me explain something else... when you get this low ... and you can barely move and barely walk and you are suffering from hunger and heat exhaustion and hopelessness and have no income and no resources... it is very difficult to jump through hoops and follow all of the red tape... people don't understand the mental issues that come along with continually not having your basic needs met and not getting good sleep and not eating well and constantly fighting intense heat.... you start to break down mentally and you can't even do simple things like fill out paperwork or follow up on all of the endless red tape bullshit... and to make things worse... most of these employees at these agencies and corporations don't know what the hell they are doing and give out incorrect information. I rarely get the correct information the first time around... that's another job in itself.. just trying to find the correct information to go about the process that you need to. I have made many phone calls and simply not been able to get ahold of these assistance agencies and have left messages and never had my calls returned. There are too many people suffering and struggling.... the system cannot keep up... the system is not the answer... it does not have solutions. We have to help each other. We are all that we have. We cannot turn our backs on one another. Please. We must work together. The system is the problem... not the solution... and the only solution is to work on building sustainable communities and having tightly knit communities based on love and compassion and understanding and team work. I do not know what else to do while I wait to start this job and wait for the background check to come back other than reach out and ask for help again. When I called Thursday... they said they were still waiting on my background check to come back and that the average turnaround time is 2 days. I am truly hoping and praying that I will actually start this job next week. I never dreamed it would take a month to start a job. I continue to be shocked and disgusted and frustrated... and struggle... and continue to feel that I have zero control... my hands are completely tied... I am at the complete mercy of a faulty/inefficient... uncaring... unkind.. unfair system. I have to count on the mercy and love and understanding and kindness of others...until my situation changes. I just have to continue to hope and pray that people will continue to reach out and offer to help me until things get better. I am thinking of starting a GoFundMe since I have no way to access paypal donations anymore since I got that levy placed on my bank account that I am not going to be able to get lifted anytime soon as it was for several hundred dollars. When it rains it pours. Please let me know if you would be able to contribute to a GoFundMe account that I set up. Please like or comment on this post or send me a private message. I Love You All. Thank You In Advance. Peace and Blessings

Donations

  • Connie Kiser 
    • $30 
    • 32 mos
  • Maze Martinez 
    • $100 
    • 33 mos
  • Connie Kiser 
    • $30 
    • 33 mos
  • Connie Kiser 
    • $50 
    • 34 mos
  • Johnnye Phillips 
    • $21 
    • 34 mos
See all

Organizer

Lauren Beth Crouse 
Organizer
Eustis, FL
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