Please! Help me Finish my PhD in Chemistry

Update in 2023: Thank you everyone for the support so I could reach this point where I can finally thrive in PhD with my current advisor. Your funds helped me pay monthly credit card bills, phone bills, health related bills, school fees and pitch in with groceries while my partner supported me financially in some of the other ways of rent and utilities. I have been beyond grateful for the help and support, not just financially but in your belief in me!

"Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow." "- Mary Anne Radmacher

Motivated by my love of learning the details, interest in understanding of the physical world and inclination towards teaching as well as research, I have been on the Ph.D. journey for a minute here, where life (and graduate school) had its own plan of forcing me to first go through the process of self-discovery that was a whole lot of non-topical unlearning and then learning to be a functional adult and that in a culture/ country far different than my history. I wish I could manage and continue as is, but now that I am on the other side, I am glad I went through all that. Without going into details, it has been a very exhausting journey though to the top of the mountain of knowing who I am and how to be, something which is a little more difficult for those of us neurodivergent and a childhood that missed on those skill development opportunities. I was "doing" before, sure, but I barely survived, and when I look back I am surprised at what capacity I was functioning. I am grateful for all those who supported me as I struggled with challenges of mental health, neurodivergence, obliviousness of the extent and nature of my lacking, inability to action regularly, communicate with consistency without crashing down, need of so much downtime to process everything life. I remembered and practiced with every passing day to show up with more courage and vulnerability, have the quiet voice speak and listen to it with kindness and compassion when my inner critical voice was very ashamed and unkindly berating my failure of the day(s). I feel proud of how far I have come. I see the resilience in me. But like before I can not exist and continue in isolation. So I am asking for your financial support to help me finish this PhD. 

In my moments of clarity and focus, I have continued to work towards a goal of seeking the research experience in broader topic of materials science towards deeper understanding especially of structure property relationship studies for materials with specific applications such as biosensors etc. towards a career as a researcher and an educator. I have had degrees in Physics, Nanoscience and Materials Science. I am currently in Chemistry and Biochemistry Graduate Program where I started in 2017. 

With my first experience of research at Saha Institute of Nuclear Physics, Kolkata, India and then at the Department of Materials Science and Metallurgy at Indian Institute of Technology, Bombay, India, the foundation of my well defined interest in (nano)materials was established. I continued Research with similar focus at University of Arkansas, first with the Microelectronics and Photonics (Now called Materials Science & Engineering) Graduate program and then at the Department of Chemistry and Biochemistry. Over the years, I have worked with carbon based nanomaterials (Graphene, Carbon Nanotubes), inorganic nanomaterials (Zinc Oxide nanoparticle, Titanium Dioxide nanoparticle, Gold nanoparticle) and polymer nanocomposites (polymer - carbon nanotube composites). The focus was either improving efficiency of Si based solar cells (used as different parts of it), design of biosensors for cancer detection using electrochemical methods and RFID sensors or morphological development characterization, to list a few. I have particularly enjoyed structure-property relationship studies. Regardless of the applications (which was something I wanted to be certain before deciding to dedicate my career) , the material characterization of the nanomaterials have been a significant step that I thoroughly enjoyed. Some of the material characterization tools that I have enjoyed using and learning are Differential Scanning Calorimetry, Thermogravimetric Analysis, X-ray Diffraction, Electron Microscopy, Atomic Force Microscopy, Electrochemical Work Station. With my Experimental Research experiences, I also realized I wanted to learn more about materials from computational perspective. I aim to continue to explore molecular modeling of materials towards my dissertation University of Arkansas. Broad focus of my work with my current Research Advisor is Molecular Dynamics Investigation of RIbosome Dynamics as I build understanding of Modelling Methods and challenges.  

In my current program, I started with a Experimental Group in Inorganic Division but finally was convinced about my interest in Theoretical Work. This was around when COVID happened. It took me a minute to then join my current group that works on Theoretical Chemistry. As I have started to work on MD projects in the pure Theoretical group, I found my passion (quicker this time as a result of the inner transformation!) is somewhere in the middle of the two paradigms. After discussions with my advisor from then and the committee, I explored the possibility of joining another group in the Department for what seems a better fit for my ambitions. And this long, arduous journey appears to have landed me in the seemingly perfect spot. 

The financial help here at GoFundMe and some friends and extended family helped me continue from May 2020 - December 2021. I had TA in Spring 2022 and Fall 2022, but I did not have it during Summer 2022. Starting Fall 2022 in the new lab, I feel confident that I will be supported by my advisor. So my basics are covered for the near future.

Rather conveniently, I have already passed the Departmental PhD requirements of the Qualifying Exams and taken all the required courses in my academic path. Because of this, I am in a unique position where my focus can jump to being 100% on lab, research and publishing work immediately. But I might need financial support to continue in the future as long as the department decides that I have taken longer than the usual 7 years. 

Regarding breakdown of my expenses, considering the basics of Rent, Utilities, Food, Health and monthly minimum of Credit Card bills, I need around USD 1600 monthly. I have been able to pay them recently however the credit card bills from when I have not had jobs are a looming source of worry. I am not including the tuition and fees of the Spring / Fall Semesters in this estimate which is why the overall ask is a bigger number to be prepared for the contingencies. 

If possible, please donate to the campaign and/or feel free to share the campaign. Any help is appreciated. I promise to pay this forward in more than one way.

#womeninstem #bipocinstem #neurodivergent #mentalhealth