Fighting to Survive: A Year of Psychosis, Pain, and Hope: Help Me Find My Way Back

On November 16th, 2024, I was diagnosed with acute psychosis, schizophrenia, and catatonia. I was dangerously close to ending my life but managed to run to the ER near my home in San Francisco before making that final decision.

I experienced one acute psychotic episode after another. After being discharged with medication, I returned home—only to wake up the next day in a panic and fall into another episode (that took me to my rooftop to jump). I was sent back to the ER, then transferred to the Sutter Health psychiatric ward in San Francisco, where I was placed under a 5250 hold (a court-ordered 14-day stay for intensive treatment when someone is considered a danger to themselves or others).

I spent 20 days in the psych ward with no phone, no rights, and no contact with the outside world. Those days were filled with continuous psychotic episodes, sleepless nights, and overwhelming mental torment.

On December 5th, my mom came from Egypt to discharge me—but the very next day, I had another psychotic episode and was sent back to the ER. I was admitted again to the John George Psychiatric Hospital in Alameda for another 3-day hold.

When I was finally released, I was prescribed 9 pills of Ativan a day and antipsychotic medications just to stabilize. From there, life spiraled downward. The past year has been the hardest of my life—filled with severe depression, cognitive dysfunction, severe migraines, chronic fatigue, disorganized thoughts, memory loss, insomnia, and unbearable physical pain. Daily life became nearly impossible.

I tried returning to work in February and March 2025, but I couldn’t function. Even driving for Uber became unbearable under these conditions. Later, I was admitted to a 3-month treatment program to stabilize, but despite constant medication changes, nothing improved.

Since then, I’ve sought help from two therapists, a psychiatrist, a spiritual crisis practitioner, a somatic healer, a physical therapist, a pastor, and a sheikh—but nothing has truly helped. Nearly a year later, I’m still fighting every day just to get through. In this year alone, I have been admitted to the ER 5 times from recurring psychotic episodes.

Because of my condition, I haven’t been able to work or earn income to cover shelter, food, or bills. My savings are nearly gone. I applied for SSDI (Social Security Disability Insurance), but the process can take up to three years and only provides a maximum of $383 per month, if approved. That would no longer be an option!

I tried to look for other options to relocate to another low-cost state, but I won’t be insured there, unfortunately.

I tried applying for unemployment, but that’s not an option since I am considered a person with a disability now!

I don’t have family in the U.S. to stay with and returning to Egypt (my home country) isn’t an option—as I was arrested there after being persecuted and have sought asylum in the United States.

At this point, I’ve exhausted every possible resource. I’m asking for your support to help cover my basic needs while I continue my recovery.

Your help means more than I can put into words.

Your financial contributions, kind words, prayers, and emotional support mean more than I can express.

Thank you for reading and for any support you can offer. I’d really appreciate it if you could share my story and offer further support.