Fighting to Stay Afloat: A Mother & Her Sons Rebuilding Life After Leaving Abuse

A mother and her three sons are fighting to survive after leaving abuse and rebuilding from nothing. Homeless, living out of cars, and facing interrupted college dreams, Tonyia is working tirelessly to secure safety, education, and a future for her family. Every donation and share helps keep hope alive and gives them a chance to stand on their feet again.

Hi, my name is Tonyia, and I’m sharing this from a place I never imagined I’d be — still fighting every single day just to survive after walking away from a 20+ year marriage to rebuild a safe, healthy life for myself and my sons.

I’m not writing this from comfort.

I’m writing this from a hotel room I could only afford for one night — unsure if I’ll have it again tonight. Yesterday, I was at my Public Storage unit trying to organize what little I have left, and tomorrow, I may have to be there again just to figure out what’s next. You can’t sleep in a storage unit, but I’ve run out of options.

Since the week before July 26, I’ve been sleeping in my car.

It became my place of rest, my workspace, my everything — until I lost my car recently. That car wasn’t just transportation. It was how I earned income every single day through DoorDash — how I made life livable, even while homeless. Without it, I don’t have a way to make money right now.

Every day used to start the same:

I’d wake up at 2:30 AM to shower, exercise, and mentally prepare for the day ahead. By 5:30 AM, I’d be out working until 5:30 PM — and many nights, I’d go back out again from 6 PM to 1 AM.

I’ve never sat still waiting for a handout. I’ve never asked anyone to fix my life. It was pride that kept me from reaching out sooner — asking myself, “How did I get here?” — but now I see that asking for help doesn’t mean I’ve failed.

I’ve fought nonstop for my sons and me to survive — to stay standing, to stay human, even while having nothing.

How I Got Here

Three and a half years ago, I walked away from a marriage that lasted over two decades — emotionally and financially abusive. I left so my sons could see something different: peace, dignity, and self-worth. I didn’t realize how hard rebuilding would be.

Now I understand why so many women don’t leave — because when you do, you go from stability to uncertainty. From a house to your car. From security to survival mode.

I’ve fought for every basic thing — housing, fairness, safety.

I’ve written to the city, the state, even the White House.

I’ve called hotlines, applied for programs, and been turned away.

And when it all became too heavy, I’ve called the 988 Crisis Lifeline — just needing someone to understand.

My children and I have been living in our cars.

An Orange County investigator once approached my car and was shocked when she realized we were living in it. She said, “You don’t look homeless. You don’t smell. You’re clean and put together.”

That’s when I realized — homelessness doesn’t always look like what people expect. It can look like a woman still holding herself together, still working, still fighting for her family — even while sleeping in a car.

The Impact on My Sons and My Education

Leaving our home and uprooting our lives has had a huge impact on my three boys. Back when we lived in Georgia, they were on track for D1 college football. When we moved to California, they quickly made a name for themselves, proving they’re among the top talent in the state. But this situation has interrupted their college plans — they need stability to stay enrolled and secure their college apartments.

I would sleep in my car every single day to make sure my boys have what they need to continue their college education — because that has always been my priority. Their future has always been the reason I keep fighting.

This struggle has also forced me to put my own college studies on hold. I’ve been pursuing TV and film production for almost a year, but survival mode has made it impossible to continue. Everything I’ve worked toward academically and professionally has been interrupted, and I am desperate to get back on track.

‍‍ Why I Still Push Forward

I left my marriage so my sons could see a different kind of strength — not silence, not fear, but resilience. I wanted them to grow up whole, to be healthy men, husbands, and fathers one day.

But I can’t lie — I finally understand why women stay. Because leaving doesn’t feel like freedom at first. It feels like drowning. And every day since, I’ve been swimming against the current, just trying to breathe.

Even now, my boys and I are still separated — all still in the same city, but each of us sleeping in cars. My sons have been blessed with friends who look out for them during the day, but at night, they have nowhere to sleep except in cars parked near their college campus.

What I’m Asking For

I’m not asking for pity.

I’m asking for partnership — for help getting back up so I can work again, rebuild my life, and keep my family together.

I’m open to relocating if it means securing safe housing and work — whether that’s here in California or even back to Atlanta. My main priority is a stable place to stay for about six months so I can save, regroup, and rebuild my life.

Your donation will go toward:

• Safe, consistent housing — even short-term stability (6 months to regroup)

• Transportation, so I can work again and earn income

• Food and daily essentials for myself and my sons

• Keeping my storage unit, so I don’t lose what little we have left

• Breathing room to rebuild, stabilize, and start fresh

I’m not giving up — but right now, I just need a hand to stand back up.

⸻

❤️ Why This Matters

This GoFundMe isn’t just about me. It’s about showing what survival truly looks like — that strength doesn’t always look polished, and that homelessness doesn’t always look like what you think.

If you’ve ever wondered how to help someone genuinely trying to rebuild, this is your moment.

Every share, every donation, every prayer — it all matters.

From my heart,

Tonyia

Tonyia’s Action Plan for Stability and Relocation to Georgia Purpose: To establish a sustainable living, working, and rebuilding plan that allows me to stabilize financially, mentally, and emotionally while transitioning from California back to Georgia. ⸻ 1. Housing & Living Arrangement • Temporary Housing (30 Days – November through December 2025): I will be staying with my friend, who lives in a four-bedroom apartment home. She has generously offered a private room for 30 days at no cost to give me a chance to get back on my feet. • After 30 Days (December 2025 onward): I plan to begin renting the room from her or, if financially feasible, move into my own apartment nearby once consistent income is established and savings permit. ⸻ 2. Employment & Income • Primary Job: I have been guaranteed a transfer to the Creekside Starbucks (Lawrenceville Hwy location). • Position: Shift Supervisor • Schedule: 4:30 AM – 11:00 AM, 5 days a week • Guaranteed Hours: Minimum 25 hours weekly • Pay Rate: $18/hour (compared to $25/hour in CA) This role provides a steady income stream and eligibility for benefits and shift consistency. • Supplemental Income (Afternoons): I plan to DoorDash from 12:00 PM – 6:00 PM daily to supplement my Starbucks income. My goal is to earn $400–$600 weekly through DoorDash while maintaining Starbucks as my anchor job. ⸻ 3. Transportation • I currently do not have a vehicle but plan to use DoorDash rental options to remain mobile (which I’ve been using the past year) • Within the first 6–8 weeks, I plan to either purchase a used car outright or finance a reliable, fuel-efficient vehicle to sustain work and errands. ⸻ 4. Financial Goals Short-Term (0–30 Days): • Secure stable housing. • Re-establish Starbucks employment in Georgia. • Begin regular DoorDash shifts for added income. • Save at least $500–$700 toward personal transportation and initial rent contribution. Mid-Term (60–90 Days): • Transition into full financial independence for room rental or my own apartment. • Rebuild emergency savings fund of $1,500–$2,000. • Pay forward or repay any initial financial help received once fully stabilized. ⸻ 5. Long-Term Vision (By Spring 2026) • Resume Film & TV Production studies locally or online. • Continue growing The Savvy Lifestyle Lounge® digital media brand. • Fully transition to independent living and transportation. • Continue tithing, serving, and mentoring others as a testimony of restoration and faith. ⸻ 6. Support Requested I am requesting temporary financial support during this relocation and transition phase to cover: • Hotel nights or safe lodging until flight/travel to Georgia. • Travel expenses to Georgia (flight, luggage, and essentials). • First month of living expenses while income re-establishes (food, gas, DoorDash setup, etc.). This support will ensure I can complete the move safely, start working immediately, and stabilize without risk of sleeping in my car again. ⸻ 7. Closing Note This plan is designed to create immediate stability, reduce daily survival strain, and position me to sustain myself independently again. I’ve been through a lot, but I’m focused, ready, and determined to rebuild stronger than before. I’m deeply grateful for every ounce of help you’ve ever given me — and this step back to Georgia is about long-term stability, not starting over, but starting fresh with strategy and faith..

#StillFightingToStand #SingleMomStrong #HopeStillLivesHere