Fighting to live cancer free..

I'm reaching out to the world for help because I've been diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer and am so taken aback and very hurt over this devastating news.. I never in my life would've thought that I would be in this position Judging by the way I've always tried to live as clean a life as I could.. at the moment I am on FMLA leave from my job awaiting further biopsy test results to be sure that the cancer hasn't spread to other areas such as bladder and pelvic bone.. I'm currently wearing a nephrostomy tube to drain left kidney because tumor is putting pressure on kidney ureter and restricting flow.. it has been a painful process so far and I haven't even begun any kind of treatment for the cancer as of yet because that process will be determined by Doctors as further tests results come back.. imaging has shown a mass which doesn't make it easy to determine whether the tumor pressing against my kidney is from the bladder or an extension of the prostate cancer.  I pray to God that I can endure and win this fight but in order for me to keep a positive attitude and a strong will and faith I need to try and keep my mind as free of financial woes as possible.  I am employed by a Great company and have very good health insurance but haven't been able to work for over a month since this nightmare all began with my mom passing away on January 7th of this year.  I've been going thru many Grueling tests since my mom was still alive but very sick in the Hospital and worked as hard and as long as my body would let me but now have no choice in the matter and must focus on attacking this demonic cancer. Its been a really rough time for me to lose my Saintly mom and be diagnosed with this horrible disease.  I find myself going through peaks and valleys with my mental state because although I am a strong person with a very positive attitude the one thing that scares me is Wether I will be able to pay my bills as I remain on medical FMLA leave.  Fortunately I do work and live in NYS and FMLA disability here does pay 60% of salary which is better than nothing but actually not quite enough to cover realistic expenses and takes jumping thru hoops and all kinds of red tape before you even see a dime of what you have worked so many years to have in case you for some reason need it.  I'm only trying to make up for any shortfalls especially since I've never been in such a bad situation and don't know how this will impact my life as time goes on.. at this moment I'm even having a hard time explaining myself and my plight because this hurts so much and I get emotional as I type these painful words.. this picture featured here is of me and my Beautiful Grandkids when I went to visit them on vacation in Florida before I started exhibiting any symptoms.  I look at this picture and go to pieces but at the same time I gain strength from it. My goal is to keep a strong positive outlook so that I can fight and win this battle but also want to be able to remain as stable financially as possible.  I already know that since I do live in NYS and my rent isn't cheap that I will have a hard time covering expenses with what I will be receiving from FMLA state disability and I'm not even sure at this point what exactly I will be receiving since the application process is still ongoing.. I'm so having to swallow my pride by reaching out to the world like this and I've never done this before.. I don't know what to expect from this but the most important message I can share with my fellow human Beings is that the fight has only just begun and I intend to come out the sole winner.. I don't feel sorry for myself because I do have the strength and determination inside of me and always intend to walk with my head held high no matter... I hope that I've covered enough here to have made my story and situation one of some kind of interest.  I'm actually in a crazy kind of way hoping that maybe Janet Jackson will see this post and my picture wearing a tshirt with her name and picture that I had purchased at her opening performance of her state of the world concert in Lafayette Louisiana on that visit of mine to see my Grandkids in Florida.  It would be nice to hear a few nice words from Janet.. it would really make my day since I'm a huge fan of hers.. that's the kid side of me.. for now I will close by asking for help and well wishes.  Please cheer me on and root for me to make it through this tough battle.. like I said earlier I've never done this before and maybe I'm in slight panic mode but hey my story is real and my Heart is Humble and I'm actually hoping to get thru this and find a solution on my own.  I'm at the moment going to speak with the company that owns the apartments I live in to see if I can cut my lease short since it expires in mid July but I can't guarantee that they will allow me to do so.  I really would like to find a much cheaper place and I have seen a few that are available and would save me hundreds per month.. I've only reached out in case I have no other option.  I don't intend on keeping anything for any other reason and would gratefully return anything unused.. at the moment I'm pretty lost and somewhat confused and I hate having to Even post this... what a terrible feeling this is... I'm a humble and honest person and say thank you from the bottom of my heart no matter what..❤