NOMI'S FUND

This might not change the world, but it will change mine! I am starting this GOFUNDME to raise money for my gender-affirming surgeries.

As I’m turning 25 today, just went out of my Consultation Appointment and have nothing to lose - I feel empowered enough to put this out here! We have until October to raise this 20.000 Euro; we got this!

I came here to be completely transparent about my life and journey, as I believe this to be an exchange. As this story might take a little longer, I separated this into 3 Parts so that you can skip to the ones of your interest.

1. Journey

2. About Gender Affirming Surgeries

3. Financial Situation

1. Journey

However hard you try to separate yourself from society, you’ll always be a part of it. However hard you try to fight the structures around you, you will never be able to change everybody’s opinion. Putting myself out here wasn’t easy, as my independence was something I have fought for my whole life since moving away from my hometown at the age of 16.

My name is Nomi Sladko. I’m 25 years old, originally from a small village in the centre of Germany, and currently living in Amsterdam. I started to “officially transition” at the age of 22 by starting HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy), most of you might think now that this is quite late, but As Marian Edelman once said, YOU CAN'T BE WHAT YOU CAN'T SEE, and the representation of trans* folks in my hometown was equal zero or at least I never crossed anybody which would have made everything so much easier. Computers and the internet weren’t really my thing, so media as a source of information and exploration also fell through. I was an outdoor person most of the time in “nature”, and in between those pastoral moments, I spent time at home in the kitchen eating and daydreaming. Eating Disorder is something I’ve tried to fight against for my whole childhood and adolescence, it is basically impossible until you know why you obsessively overeat. I would be lying if I said that I have this totally under control since I know the reasons, once you see eating as an escape, this escape will always be there for you. - At this point, I want to specify that weight is not the problem, there are a million types of bodies and all have their beauty. The problem for me is my relationship with food and my eating behaviour, which is rooted in Gender Dysphoria, as my therapist and I figured out. Back then, I didn’t know who or what I was or what my sexuality was, but I did know that I was weird as it was the thing people described me the most. I experimented a lot, though less and less within the last years, before moving away. Internalised hate patterns make you dislike yourself more and more with every step in the right direction.

With these words burnt into my consciousness, and as my family situation wasn’t improving, I moved away to Dresden which, at that moment, felt sooo big to me! So many young people and students from all around, none of whom know you - what was soo amazing - because where I’m from, everybody knows more about you than you apparently. I started a job in a hotel, was earning money, and could buy my own clothes for the first time in my life. I felt very liberated but dressed like shit. Consider the path of a confused little being who was coming from the countryside, wrapped by choice of clothing from their parents and stamped by society as “gay” and “weird.” The moment you start to experience a glimpse of freedom, you feel like nothing can hurt you, but its just the start of the journey of self-exploration, many bad choices, and thousands of mistakes. I’m soo happy I made all of them! Cause these choices and mistakes brought me to Berlin about two years later, where I spent five years of my life living, loving, working, discovering and leaarningggggg. Arriving to Berlin I was shocked cause for the first time in my life people wanted to get to know me and were interested into my life and me as a person, which I’ve never felt before. Most of the time I been the third wheel, ‘the friend’, or the reason why they didn’t want to let you into a house party. Berlin was also the city where I crossed the first trans people ever, I was about 20 back then. The intensity of gratefulness and love I feel for this city and all the people who let me into their lives isn’t describable. I learned so much about myself, which required a tremendous amount of strength to unpack and deconstruct to fully discover myself and build up the resolve to go out into this world with pride.

According to international statistics and data from Germany, about 0.33% are Transgender, which is one person in 30.000. The village I grew up in had about one thousand inhabitants and the closest city was 250.000. So how big is the chance you will ever meet one trans person ever in your life in Germany, if you’re not part of the queer scene? In fact today I know only one trans girl who went to the same primary school as I did, in the neighbouring village. (she’s charming, punk, critically thinking and there for the community - I’m very proud of her). I’m so happy to have gotten to know my sisters and brothers around me, who have inspired me. Through their appearances, I gained hope and the power to take my transition to the next steps. Not only live behind closed doors or vicariously follow people’s transition journeys on YouTube (which I started as soon as I fell in love with computers and discovered how to use the internet. I was about 21 then). I’m especially thankful for one of my sisters—her name is Michelle S. (if you are reading this, I kiss you very much). Through her experiences, I knew where to start and where to go, so I didn’t have to face the same traumatic experiences within the health care system in Germany, which is so conservative, outdated and full of dinosaurs doctors. Also, Imagine the TSG (Transexual Law) is still valid in Germany to this very day. Wasn’t this about to change?

These past two years have been an essential playground to discover my own personal gender identity, experimenting with what I find most strength in and in this, figuring out who I am. I chose they/them/she/her pronouns to begin with as sometimes I would express myself in a more non-binary way and at other times a more femme one. Turning 25 today, I now know that I find the most strength within (my) femininity and with just she/her pronouns, which doesn’t mean that I think that gender is something fixed. I consider myself a trans femme. I don’t believe in passing, for myself, I certainly will never be that fragile petite woman I dreamt of being when I was younger. This is definitely not a bad thing, as being honest and genuine with yourself is so important. I know that these two gender-affirming surgeries are the final steps of my transition and will help me be the tall, strong woman I am.

Playtime is over. At 22 years I started HRT, ever since I’m continuously becoming happier by the day as I know I’m going in the right direction, and I see changes happening within and outside. There are just some things Hormones can’t do, like change your bone structure. As I didn’t have the privilege of learning about gender identities and initiating my medical transition early in life, my body developed quite masculinely. I’m 182, with broad shoulders and a prominent brow bone. As I’m working in the hospitality industry, I’m dealing with being misgendered daily due to these attributes. Don’t get me wrong, its expected to be misgendered from time to time as there are people who get much pleasure out of misgendering. These people are not the problem, its more the other 20 people a day with good intentions, but for who I’m just not what I see in me. This wasn’t as hard initially because I know who I’m and I’m a strong being who typically doesn’t give a shit about what other people think (honestly, without that attitude, I would have never come so far). You can’t be what you can’t see, today I know who I’m and who I aspire to be, but having nobody seeing me the way I see myself is becoming a bigger and bigger struggle. I tend to isolate myself more and excessively overeat like back in my hometown. Sometimes going out can make you feel like a clown as what people see in you is so far from your reality. To be viewed as a man constantly is something I cannot live with for my whole life. I want to be happy. As mentioned: However hard you try to separate yourself from society, you’ll always be a part of it. And somehow, the society you are born into will always be a part of you, it doesn’t matter how much work you do, educate yourself and separate yourself. To survive, pay my rent and fund my projects as an artist, this job is crucial to me. To support my mental well-being, my journey as an artist, align myself with my gender identity, fight my eating disorder, and make me able to continue my job and be a part of this world, these surgeries are necessary. They are the final step in my transition and the next right step toward my future.

2. About Gender Affirming Surgeries

I choose to go to Facialteam in HC Clinic Marbella for my facial feminisation surgery, a set of medical procedures that aim to feminise facial features, and Ocean Clinic (a part of Facialteam) for breast augmentation surgery. Their skill, technique and natural results are the main reason they are my choice. Having had my Consultation Appointment with them on the 6th of May and seeing the virtual approximation of how I will look was really life-changing! They bolstered my decision and motivated me to write this, even when it means to make myself vulnerable to you. These surgeries are about the feminisation of my face and body and not about changing me, which is the difference between plastic surgery and gender-affirming surgeries. They will help me exist in society, stabilise my mental health, and help me fight my eating disorders. You can be sure that I know what I’m doing and where I'm going.

3. Financial Situation

As I mentioned before, I’m working in a bar in Amsterdam where I earn between 800 to 900 Euros per month. Tips don’t really exist here and I am currently still enrolled at an art university. To live a comfortable life in Amsterdam you need to earn about 950Euros living costs without rent. 500Euros of my salary are spent on rent and the rest of 300-400Euros go into my projects, food, hairlaser treatments and hormones, so there is barely anything left to save up money for these surgeries. That's why I need you!

If you can help me make these 2 final steps happen, I will be eternally grateful.

The fund is mostly just for the FFS procedures at Facialteam, which is very expensive, it includes: Surgeries,

Hospital Fees, Medication, General Anaesthesia, Material CT Scan etc. (we are already very close to 20k). The tiny amount left will partly go into the Breast Augmentation Surgery and my stay in Marbella, which must be 10-14 days due to being bound to hospital care. This price won’t include the most significant part of the Breast Augmentation and the Recovering Time post-surgery as I will try to make as much money as I can, but your Help is very needed! Prices are racing all around the globe and my quotes will just remain valid until the end of September. If the money isn’t raised within that period, the quote will have to be renewed with the possibility of higher prices.

I’m grateful for any amount you can give and If you don’t have a spare coin, sharing this with your friends, a girlboss, your rich open-minded uncle or within your community is also a big help already. Helping me might not change the world, but it will change my world! I will be working extra hours and am planning on some cute upcoming projects - so keep your ears and eyes open!

I wish you the most beautiful day, and thank you for your time to actually read this to the end!

With all my Love,

Nomi xoxo

One important note: If you read this and we will bump into each other one day, I don’t want you to see me as my struggles, which was my biggest fear of putting this out here. I don’t identify with my struggles. Let me be just Nomi to you. Let me be a blank paper to begin with and let our encounter do the rest. Equal chances for everybody. Let’s abolish labels and stigmas of all kinds.

For continues updates instagram: @nomisladko

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