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Hello friends, fam, and long-time internet pals! I have some exciting news: this fall, I'll be starting the Masters of Social Work program at Salem State University!
I'm really so thrilled to be able to take this next step in my journey, and I'm so grateful for everyone who has helped me reach this point. Your care, support, and love helped me discover my own capacity for healing, and led me to what I feel deeply in my heart is my life's work: to be a warm, stable, loving presence in the lives of young people, so that they may become their unique, powerful, world-changing selves. Now, I'm coming to you humbly on my 31st birthday, asking for your help and generosity again.
Can you help me raise the funds I need to live during the first year of my MSW?
I’ve been doing work around youth, media, tech, and power for over a decade now: teaching media literacy to high school students, organizing teenage activists around the world, and most recently, working with CCFC to upend predatory tech business models that use young people’s relationships against them. At the same time, I’ve been going on my own healing journey, learning about trauma and the mind/body connection and realizing just how deep other people’s cruelly or thoughtlessly wielded power can -- and does -- wound us. I’ve come to see that issues of media and tech are also issues of trauma and wellbeing, and that all of those things are about relationships. And I’ve come to appreciate just how much power I have -- and although I’m still a little freaked out by it, I’m ready to really use it.
My plan over the next four years is to complete grad school, and then seek post-grad training to become independently clinically licensed. From there, the opportunities are endless, and I can’t even pretend to guess at what my future practice might look like. Trauma therapist for former YouTube influencers? Youth pastor for witches? Who knows, maybe I’ll open a practice where teens build treehouses together. Whatever form it takes, the relationships will be the point, because relationships are what allow us to heal and grow.
The first step is to complete this first year of an MSW, which is strenuous and time-consuming. I'll be taking a full courseload on top of a required (unpaid!) internship, so I won't be able to hold a paying job. (Though I will be reading tarot and doing some personal styling on the side, so hit me up if you're looking for some insight into your life and/or aesthetic!) And although I'm #blessed to live in Massachusetts, whose public funding of education makes Salem State the most affordable MSW program in the country for me, federal student loans and my savings are just enough to cover tuition, fees, and books, leaving a sizeable, rent-sized gap in my budget.
If I can raise $5000, I'll be secure enough to never have to worry about paying rent during the school year. If I can raise $8000, I'll be secure enough to never have to worry about rent or groceries.
Some of you might know that in my own adolescence, I experienced both housing and food insecurity, among other emotional and material challenges. I know the toll it takes! Many of you helped me then -- even if you didn't know it. And many more of you helped me in my 20s, as I embarked on the long process of healing. With your love and care and jokes and insights holding me and propelling me forward, I've learned that I am capable of doing anything I feel called to, as long as I ask for help when I need it.
But still: asking for help is hard! It's so hard, in fact, that before COVID, I was going to avoid asking directly by throwing a birthday/fundraising party instead. Asking my community to see me, hold me, and support me felt like it would be easier if I were giving you a fun party in return. Now, there's no party to hide behind. There's only me, and my need and want, and my wish to help heal an ill world, and my hope that you will keep walking forward with me through this crazy, swirling, is-this-a-reckoning-or-what? time in every single one of our lives.
In this truly wild moment, I'm feeling both uncertain and deeply sure: I don't know what the future at large will look like -- some days I'm not even sure I know what the present looks like! -- but I know that I am moving in the right direction. I know that in September, I'll be taking a huge step toward the world I know we all deserve: one where we honor the human need for relationships and care, where we provide for one another emotionally and materially, and where we can face the darkest, scariest truths of the world, together.
Thank you so much for helping me get this far, and for anything you can offer to help me go even further. <3333
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
APPENDIX A: SOME SPECIFIC GRATEFUL FEELINGS
In the process of thinking about and creating this fundraiser, I was flooded with memories of people from every stage of my life who have helped me get to where I am right now. I want to take a moment now to express gratitude to some of those people, some of whom I think probably have no idea that they’ve helped me along. This list is not comprehensive, mostly because I got super emotional part way through!
Donna Shirman and Deanna Wells-Scott, GSA advisers at Attleboro High School circa 2006. Hey guys: I’m gay now!!!!! I bet you knew that though. ;) Thanks for holding space for all of us lovable freaks.
My other high school teachers, especially Rosa and Sutton. Thanks for letting me cry in your classrooms after school!! Your nonjudgmental kindness and support were models for me when I began working with teenagers.
Jennifer Berger of About-Face in San Francisco. You were my first truly excellent boss! Thank you for so many opportunities, so much kindness, and for showing me how to hold myself and others accountable without using shame or fear.
Courtney Knight, Sarah Bures, Wes Sheridan, and James K. Blake III. I was an idiot and a mess when I met every single one of you. I love you. Thank you for holding me up at some of the scariest times in my life!
Silk Kaya, Laura Killeen, and Charlotte Tuffin. Living with the three of you changed my life in ways that are still unfolding now. Our perfect little Astoria apartment was one of the first times I ever felt truly at home. I still dream of that Thanksgiving feast!!!
Dana Edell, Lyn Mikel-Brown, and every single one of the SPARK activists. I could spend a lifetime telling you all what you taught me and it would still not be enough. Sometimes I think about what we did together and I am just blown away. It is an incredible source of peace to know that you former SPARKers are out in the world, putting out your energy and your truth, and slowly bending the arc of the universe toward justice.
Syd, Kit, and Dean. I can’t believe all the moving parts it took to bring us together, and how much I have become myself in the warm light of your love. I can’t wait to lay on the floor and/or nap on a flower with you as soon as we’re allowed to!
Joe Vaughan. You gave me a lot of things that are so valuable to me still, including a deep understanding of spirituality and love and strife. Thank you for telling me I had youth pastor vibes. I think a lot of people would have meant that as a dunk, and my favorite thing about you is that you didn’t.
Claudia Binns. You knew me when I was very young, and you saw all the chaos that swirled around me, and you didn’t look away. You helped me see that showing up in the world with hardness and defensiveness would only make my pain worse. I am grateful for you every day.
The kid in the front row in the last media literacy presentation I did, who leaned forward at the end, took a deep breath, and said “Damn, we got played.” You could never know this, but that is the best and most affirming feedback I’ve gotten in my entire life! You are so correct: we are all getting played, all the time, by huge conglomerates who want our money and don’t give a shit about our hearts and souls! I hope that you’re out there right now figuring out what you’re going to do about it. Let me know if you’re looking for guidance.
I'm really so thrilled to be able to take this next step in my journey, and I'm so grateful for everyone who has helped me reach this point. Your care, support, and love helped me discover my own capacity for healing, and led me to what I feel deeply in my heart is my life's work: to be a warm, stable, loving presence in the lives of young people, so that they may become their unique, powerful, world-changing selves. Now, I'm coming to you humbly on my 31st birthday, asking for your help and generosity again.
Can you help me raise the funds I need to live during the first year of my MSW?
I’ve been doing work around youth, media, tech, and power for over a decade now: teaching media literacy to high school students, organizing teenage activists around the world, and most recently, working with CCFC to upend predatory tech business models that use young people’s relationships against them. At the same time, I’ve been going on my own healing journey, learning about trauma and the mind/body connection and realizing just how deep other people’s cruelly or thoughtlessly wielded power can -- and does -- wound us. I’ve come to see that issues of media and tech are also issues of trauma and wellbeing, and that all of those things are about relationships. And I’ve come to appreciate just how much power I have -- and although I’m still a little freaked out by it, I’m ready to really use it.
My plan over the next four years is to complete grad school, and then seek post-grad training to become independently clinically licensed. From there, the opportunities are endless, and I can’t even pretend to guess at what my future practice might look like. Trauma therapist for former YouTube influencers? Youth pastor for witches? Who knows, maybe I’ll open a practice where teens build treehouses together. Whatever form it takes, the relationships will be the point, because relationships are what allow us to heal and grow.
The first step is to complete this first year of an MSW, which is strenuous and time-consuming. I'll be taking a full courseload on top of a required (unpaid!) internship, so I won't be able to hold a paying job. (Though I will be reading tarot and doing some personal styling on the side, so hit me up if you're looking for some insight into your life and/or aesthetic!) And although I'm #blessed to live in Massachusetts, whose public funding of education makes Salem State the most affordable MSW program in the country for me, federal student loans and my savings are just enough to cover tuition, fees, and books, leaving a sizeable, rent-sized gap in my budget.
If I can raise $5000, I'll be secure enough to never have to worry about paying rent during the school year. If I can raise $8000, I'll be secure enough to never have to worry about rent or groceries.
Some of you might know that in my own adolescence, I experienced both housing and food insecurity, among other emotional and material challenges. I know the toll it takes! Many of you helped me then -- even if you didn't know it. And many more of you helped me in my 20s, as I embarked on the long process of healing. With your love and care and jokes and insights holding me and propelling me forward, I've learned that I am capable of doing anything I feel called to, as long as I ask for help when I need it.
But still: asking for help is hard! It's so hard, in fact, that before COVID, I was going to avoid asking directly by throwing a birthday/fundraising party instead. Asking my community to see me, hold me, and support me felt like it would be easier if I were giving you a fun party in return. Now, there's no party to hide behind. There's only me, and my need and want, and my wish to help heal an ill world, and my hope that you will keep walking forward with me through this crazy, swirling, is-this-a-reckoning-or-what? time in every single one of our lives.
In this truly wild moment, I'm feeling both uncertain and deeply sure: I don't know what the future at large will look like -- some days I'm not even sure I know what the present looks like! -- but I know that I am moving in the right direction. I know that in September, I'll be taking a huge step toward the world I know we all deserve: one where we honor the human need for relationships and care, where we provide for one another emotionally and materially, and where we can face the darkest, scariest truths of the world, together.
Thank you so much for helping me get this far, and for anything you can offer to help me go even further. <3333
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
APPENDIX A: SOME SPECIFIC GRATEFUL FEELINGS
In the process of thinking about and creating this fundraiser, I was flooded with memories of people from every stage of my life who have helped me get to where I am right now. I want to take a moment now to express gratitude to some of those people, some of whom I think probably have no idea that they’ve helped me along. This list is not comprehensive, mostly because I got super emotional part way through!
Donna Shirman and Deanna Wells-Scott, GSA advisers at Attleboro High School circa 2006. Hey guys: I’m gay now!!!!! I bet you knew that though. ;) Thanks for holding space for all of us lovable freaks.
My other high school teachers, especially Rosa and Sutton. Thanks for letting me cry in your classrooms after school!! Your nonjudgmental kindness and support were models for me when I began working with teenagers.
Jennifer Berger of About-Face in San Francisco. You were my first truly excellent boss! Thank you for so many opportunities, so much kindness, and for showing me how to hold myself and others accountable without using shame or fear.
Courtney Knight, Sarah Bures, Wes Sheridan, and James K. Blake III. I was an idiot and a mess when I met every single one of you. I love you. Thank you for holding me up at some of the scariest times in my life!
Silk Kaya, Laura Killeen, and Charlotte Tuffin. Living with the three of you changed my life in ways that are still unfolding now. Our perfect little Astoria apartment was one of the first times I ever felt truly at home. I still dream of that Thanksgiving feast!!!
Dana Edell, Lyn Mikel-Brown, and every single one of the SPARK activists. I could spend a lifetime telling you all what you taught me and it would still not be enough. Sometimes I think about what we did together and I am just blown away. It is an incredible source of peace to know that you former SPARKers are out in the world, putting out your energy and your truth, and slowly bending the arc of the universe toward justice.
Syd, Kit, and Dean. I can’t believe all the moving parts it took to bring us together, and how much I have become myself in the warm light of your love. I can’t wait to lay on the floor and/or nap on a flower with you as soon as we’re allowed to!
Joe Vaughan. You gave me a lot of things that are so valuable to me still, including a deep understanding of spirituality and love and strife. Thank you for telling me I had youth pastor vibes. I think a lot of people would have meant that as a dunk, and my favorite thing about you is that you didn’t.
Claudia Binns. You knew me when I was very young, and you saw all the chaos that swirled around me, and you didn’t look away. You helped me see that showing up in the world with hardness and defensiveness would only make my pain worse. I am grateful for you every day.
The kid in the front row in the last media literacy presentation I did, who leaned forward at the end, took a deep breath, and said “Damn, we got played.” You could never know this, but that is the best and most affirming feedback I’ve gotten in my entire life! You are so correct: we are all getting played, all the time, by huge conglomerates who want our money and don’t give a shit about our hearts and souls! I hope that you’re out there right now figuring out what you’re going to do about it. Let me know if you’re looking for guidance.