A Progress Report

Update: Saturday November 5, 2022

"Those who wish to dance will always find their music."

Marty Rubin

As I continue to find my way through the aftermath of COVID, I have made contact with local agencies and organizations. I hope to discover options and a reasonable path beyond my current circumstances. Ironically enough, I have been told by one agency that my situation is not that "dire." It's an interesting place to be in life when I am being assured that I am not in true peril because I am not on the waitlist for a homeless shelter. I chose to approach my situation in multiple ways rather than pretend the signs were not pointing in a bad direction.

I have revised my goal amount to reflect only what is certain, the outstanding debt owed to my landlord that was generated when I was unable to work. $9,000.00. My lease will be up at the end of June 2023. What comes after this year of grace granted by the property manager remains to be seen.

I continue to seek job opportunities that are in line with my cognitive abilities. I have a promising opportunity right around the corner. It is a good fit for my capabilities at this point. If all goes as planned I will start 11/14. Currently, I walk dogs at least 7-10 miles per day. The physicality of my current job and the time it takes, gives me purpose, a schedule, and people who are happy to see me! And gratefully, dogs don't remind me they told me something the day before!!!

These days I am most comfortable alone or with those who are familiar with my situation. Long Covid is a lonely experience and the embarrassment is real. I know what I can't recall and those memory lapses are frustrating! My brain shows no sign of dementia/Parkinson's/Alzheimer's. I am grateful for all this!!

I am seeking local doctors who have a better handle on the "Long Covid" experience to help me.

Please be aware there is a growing population of Covid Long Haulers out there. It is a real thing, it is confounding and silent (even though my ears ring nonstop these days). I am so grateful to those who have supported me in various ways since my first posting. Continuing to heal and trying to come up with solutions feels less lonely with people in your corner! Compassion shows itself in amazing ways.

This platform allowed me an organized way to covey a "WISH." Unfortunately my choice to share made some uncomfortable. Haven't we all needed a light at the end of the tunnel at some point? I truly apologize to anyone who was made uncomfortable.

This will be my last posting here as I am very sensitive to the stress of perceptions. Those who know me best understand I have never wasted my time thinking about why things happen. I recover and move forward, period.

My situation is not special, it is a challenge for me, but not necessarily unique. Parents will attempt measures never considered to preserve our "families." My kids need me nearby more than ever and I am not too proud to fight for that.

With Love and Appreciation,

Barbara

Introduction

Hello! My name is Barbara Daly, I am a retired elementary school teacher (26.5 years teaching). Retirement came early and unexpectedly after having COVID (12/26/20) and developing long covid symptoms that come and go to this day.

Knowing that my body was not ready 5 months after diagnosis, retirement made it possible for me to retain health insurance while I continued to hope that the residual effects would lessen or subside.

Teaching retirement helps pay the bills, along with dog walking, and home support care gigs. My Long Term disability was denied. Long covid is still greatly questioned, doubted, and something of a mystery. As a 55 year old woman, I have had a health profile detailed enough to allow preexisting conditions to be blamed rather than acknowledge that I was experiencing brain fog, extreme lack of focus, and exhaustion at levels I had never experienced following a virus. Any hopes of receiving disability compensation, while I continued to heal, were dashed by my health history.

I am here raising money in hopes to leave behind my current home, my previous teaching life, to pay back outstanding rent and move to a location more affordable given my current circumstances.

This new reality means leaving my kids (both graduated from high school) with their Dad (we have a positive coparenting relationship) here where their friends and family are close by. My kids deserve to seek their futures and enjoy the relationships they have established while pursuing their dreams. Covid may have altered my course but it need not interrupt their current plans.

Progress has been gradual. I now can pay the monthly rent (increased by $400.00 this year). I am slowly chipping away at money owed when I could not pay all the rent during my COVID recovery. I have a positive relationship with the property manager. Always treating this house as my home, with small unreimbursed upgrades to landscaping/repairs, has reassured the landlord of my commitment to stay until my debts are clear ($8000.00). I exhausted all I had in savings while trying to get well.

Moving from this area with contents of a fully furnished house, choosing an affordable location where I might find a fixer upper, will be costly and heartbreaking (leaving my kids). The logistics of it all and the likelihood of greater distance from my kids is overwhelming to contemplate.

It is time to think outside the box and seek the changes that will keep me healthy and my family growing in positive ways. The right solutions will come along in time I am certain

My parents and 3 older siblings had to start from scratch after the Palm Sunday tornado in 1965. If my parents could survive that, I can figure this out. I saw a draft letter my dad wrote after that tornado and I can only imagine what it took to write a request for donations to "who it may concern" but he did what he had to do...here I am 57 years later, not with ink and pen, but doing the same.

I was always amazed to hear the stories of people who found savings bonds and other family financial documents in fields and random places. Post tornado, these items were sent back to my parents. I think that simple act of stopping the plow to pick up scrap of paper lying in a field was really remarkable to my dad.

To my mom, the well being of her children and husband were most important. I have always been grateful for her ability to see what really mattered. It’s rather interesting how a thick pine forest that sheltered a cemetery was almost completely erased by the tornado that Palm Sunday. Somehow from such devastation, a couple saplings survived. Today, these full grown trees make shade over the graves of my grandparents, great grandparents, parents, and sister, Susan. Such destruction brought new life where it would not have been noticed.

Returning to teaching is not a reasonable or realistic solution to this date. The memory challenges and the inability to multitask, even with medication, makes teaching, especially post pandemic, a mountain too big for me to climb. Parents want their children caught up yesterday. I understand this. I worried for my own kids.

Prolonged absences for health reasons is my current reality, I never know when I will have another series of days where I am unable to sleep enough to feel rested and experience issues with mental clarity. Extended teacher absences can lead to doubts about teacher health and resilience. Classroom placement requests come, administration scrambles to make adjustments, and teachers suffer criticism from the community while they deal with a reality they can't control. Teachers are known for going to school not feeling well in order to keep the pace and consistency in the classroom. Many Long Covid symptoms only worsen when rest is ignored. A school year is a fast moving train that rarely stops. My career and lingering symptoms were not going to be able to coexist.

I was diagnosed with COVID for the second time a month ago. My taste and smell, though never fully healed, are diminished again. My memory/focus issues, though never fully recovered, have once again been affected by the virus. Frustrations from current employers forced to repeat information or clarify known procedures, is real and a constant source of anxiety and embarrassment for me.

Monetary donations would provide me with the means to start again. I only wish to settle myself humbly and provide a second safe home and haven for my kids.

With a Grateful Heart,

Barbara Daly