My name is Nan. I am a single parent of two children: Ryla, nine, and Max, five. I have always been responsible with money. I learned to balance a checkbook in second grade, had my first credit card in high school, and was a paid window dresser at thirteen. I managed to buy a one-bedroom house in San Francisco. After a while, I saved enough to turn it into a two bedroom/2 bath to house two happy kids. Now I find myself in a supremely scary position. I need help. During the pandemic I have incurred considerable credit card debt for several reasons: First, when it became clear to me that our school district had no plans to return to in-person, I formed a pod with another family to hire our former preschool teacher to help manage online “learning” and provide an enriching environment for our children. I was not considered an essential worker, so did not qualify for any of the city’s learning centers. Our arrangement allowed us all to continue to work, though being self-employed myself (as a designer who works with people in person), my income suffered substantially. We wanted to avoid our children losing their minds. This might sound flippant but Ryla was wailing daily on the couch and aggressively acting out: so bereft of social contact she was turning feral. I consider this expenditure to be an investment in my daughter’s sanity. It saved her. Of that I am sure. It cost me $14,000 of my savings. I understand how lucky I am that I had this money, yet, this was our nest egg.

Second, near the beginning of the lockdown, Ryla started having headaches, which I later traced to a possible concussion after going through a tunnel slide. She then had several more strong impacts to the head during the course of the lockdown (wrestling with a friend ending on a desk, soccer ball, fall onto concrete...). Her headaches continued, apparently moving up and down her vagus nerve. She began to throw up routinely. She would collapse on the street. She had pain constantly. She could barely get out of bed some days. My vivacious child turned quiet and meek. No one at Kaiser would see her; no one would refer me for the tests I requested; they all had pat answers for me about headaches and stomachaches and stress in children. I spent thousands of dollars on osteopathy, chiropractic, and homeopathy which provided substantial but temporary relief. None of these were covered by insurance. When I was finally able to take Ryla in to see her doctor (about 10 months later), I demanded a blood test and that she be scanned. I could not get her scanned that day but got her blood drawn, after which I physically carried her to the car because she could not walk. That evening, Kaiser called me to bring her into the emergency room where she was admitted for immediate blood transfusions due to life-threatening anemia. (It was then that they finally gave her every scan in the book, an irony not lost on me. She was clean, thankfully, but the doctor who examined her took one look at her gums and confirmed severe anemia.) This was June of 2021. Since then, any impact that would be a non-issue for most kids turns into a cascade of nervine dysfunction, requiring a barrage of out-of-pocket treatments.

Luckily, Ryla is strong and all her practitioners agree that we have finally addressed her initial injury however, her nervous system is still vulnerable and the pattern continues. I have not fully tallied these bills. I just know that I have had to use credit cards for basic things like clothes, toiletries, and property taxes; and also not quite basic but necessary things, such as haircuts, camps for the summer, swim lessons for my son, and a plane ticket to Massachusetts to see my 85 year old mother. All the while I have had to pay for preschool (1350/mo). I now face $27,000 of credit card debt. It is a blur. I feel embarrassed to utter the figure. I feel embarrassed to ask for help. Nearly every day I realize I could have lost my beautiful child. Nearly every day I am furious, bewildered, worried, and grateful. I am lighthearted with my children though. I am lighthearted in general-twenty-six years of yoga helps- but I can feel the precipice I stand on.

I have always paid off my credit card bills in full and when I could not, paid more than the minimum to consistently pay them off. Everything was manageable. Now, the balances are too high, interest is ballooning, and I cannot afford my bills every month. I am afraid whatever savings I have left will dwindle to nothingness. I want to keep our house and our life here. My son starts kindergarten this fall. My other monthly expenses will then go down significantly. I will be able to get things under control. I am requesting help/funds to pay off my credit cards. I was not sure if I should categorize this as medical or monthly-it is both. I have set a goal of $12,000, which will pay off one entirely, and part of another. In a miracle world, I receive enough to clear my entire debt. Any amount when joined together will chip away the burden and eventually wash it away. With your help our family can once more breathe easily on stable ground. Thank you for considering us.