Never in my life I thought I would have to do something like this...

 

My name is Christian Muñoz, and in 2012 I moved to Odesa, Ukraine from San Francisco, California.

 

 

 

 

It was, has been, and will always be one of the best decisions I have ever made. It has changed me in ways that the world can see right now. The spirit of Ukraine. I remember when everyone laughed and ridiculed me for going there, but I always knew and felt the power of Ukraine and the people in it. Found a friend Iryna, who would later become my wife and the mother of our son, Sebastian. I made myself a great career as a professional corporate and personal English teacher helping people from all walks of life. I loved that I was able to make a difference in people’s lives to solidify their bridge of communication with others for work and/or fun. The future looked promising.

 

 

 

 

But now that job I had for 10 years is gone, and I completely understand—it was entirely dependent on every Ukrainian person and business who had the means, now a lot of them don’t. The pandemic allowed me to continue work online and stay home, but this war just destroyed it completely. It just sucks because it was enough to support the three of us. The same goes for my wife. Job gone. We had a big dream of buying and having our own home, but that’s gone too.

 

A lot of things are gone or destroyed, but not family.

 

I sincerely hope all my Ukrainian students and friends are safe with their families.

 

That’s what matters the most.

 

Family and those close to us.

 

For two years and especially the last few months, we were helping my mother-in-law beat cancer through chemo, radiotherapy, and other care but she passed away on Sunday, February 20th 2022. While my brother-in-law and I managed to pay the funeral off along with the help from my grandparents, mother and father, it still hit us financially at the worst possible time. The hardest part of this is that my father-in-law is still in a hospital right now, and we still have to cover the monthly expenses.

 

 

 

 

Around 4:58 AM on Thursday, February 24th, 2022 my wife, son, and I were woken up to the sounds explosions… on the day of my mother-in-law’s funeral. We couldn’t get back to sleep as we were terrified. I packed things quickly and we took a risk by staying, but once I had left and came back with my son a week and a half ago and I didn’t want to leave my wife especially during the time she needed support and us the most. The funeral and cremation service said they were still operating and that for the next day and beyond that they would leave the bodies of the deceased somewhere. That’s something I can’t even fathom.

 

Yet we took a huge risk, why?

 

Family.

 

All or nothing I will find a way for our family.

 

That has been and will always be my guiding principle.

 

Go with all of your heart

 

The first time I met my mother-in-law was during the worst cold snap on Wednesday, December 31st, 2014 when the roads, cars, buses were frozen to the ground. Iryna was far away from her family on New Years Eve. I promised that I would take her home safely. We walked about 7 hours in the freezing cold across the streets, freeways, and roads into the arms of her family.

 

The last day I saw my mother-in-law was that Thursday when she was laying down moments before she got cremated, the very same day when Putin declared war on Ukraine. I wasn’t going to let that stop us for bringing peace to our family. I wasn’t trying to be a hero, I was trying to think of my family. Even around the funeral service where the cremation took place, some loud explosion occurred.

 

 

 

 

I had one of my students offer a free ride with his parents and while our family gathered for the last lunch and time to remember Iryna’s mom. We agreed that we would try to rendezvous with them after the family meal to remember her around 1-2 pm. Traffic was everywhere and we barely moved. People were fleeing the country as we were going back into the city.

 

We got there around 12:30 pm and started lunch. The conversations were few and quiet. Some of our relatives had a look of shock both at the loss of a family member and the war that had begun. Everyone was there but nobody was present. I got a million calls and texts from dozens of people including that friend who offered his ride. Near the end of lunch, we got the news that his parents left and couldn’t stay any longer. Understandable and hard. My heart sank. Keep in mind that we don’t have a car.

 

 

 

 

I would still try to find a way. I always find a way.

 

Uber, all rides gone.

Bolt, all rides busy.

Bond Taxi, the price doubled with many orders and it could take long to find a willing driver who could take us out the country.

 

How long? They couldn’t tell us.

 

We called up my last hope, the driver who had taken me and Sebastian the first time we left and came back into the country. He said he would have to think about it, and after a while he agreed. We packed. He came and drove us. The main highway to Palanca, Moldova was packed with cars bumper-to-bumper. He took a risk by taking a short cut by going to Transitnistria, a Russian-occupied frozen conflict zone between Ukraine and Moldova. The USSR flag is still flown there. A few miles before the border we took a sharp left turn and went down the country side where it was free, clear, and no traffic. My mom always said that there were angels around us and he was one of them… to a point at least

 

 

 

 

 

We finally merged with the main highway where the cars were stuck, so on this two-way road we made a left into incoming traffic to cut other cars. It only worked until both lanes became one road. He said that it would be best to stay in a nearby hotel with his friends in Ukraine where, by the next day, the traffic would calm down and be free. He was certain about it but I felt he was trying to extort money, as he made the idea of getting dropped off by the border unsafe, cold, and stupid. He did this before with me and Sebastian. I decided to get us dropped off and take a chance. By this time it was already night and freezing outside.

 

When we crossed the highway on foot you could barely see cars moving inches by the hour, and the moment we got to the building a border guard asked for everyone’s passports by the stacks of them. We waited out in the cold for a while. After an hour or so, we got our passports and had to think about the next step. One of my ex-students said that she had two free spots in her car, so we decided to wait. She was somewhere in the madness of the traffic.

 

 

 

 

Another angel out there.

 

 

 

Being in the middle of displaced folks, refugees, and tourists, I overheard an American talking. Naturally I gave him a look and we talked. Little did I know he would become another angel. He was visiting Odesa for a while and he had to flee and was dropped off by his girlfriend. I could tell he didn’t really know what to do, so I asked if he needed help and sure enough, yes. So I tried to find a way to get a taxi for him by going further by foot past the border and the guards didn’t let me out unless I wasn’t planning on coming back. I had to explain with my broken Russian language skills that my wife and son were inside the border control building with our luggage. After pleading with him for me to search for willing drivers, the border guard let me go and I found one guy.

 

Go with all of your heart

 

This was all outside in subzero temperatures. I brought him closer to the border and asked him to wait. I grabbed my family and we went. Off we went to Chișinău, Moldova. I contacted my student and thanked her, but that those free spots could be used for someone else in need. The initial shock wore off a bit from driving through more or less clear roads. I was looking for a hotel or place to stay, nothing and all booked out. I couldn’t even reach out to students or my brother because I had to preserve my battery life. I asked if he could take us to Iasi, Romania. It was already 9 pm and that meant it would take another 3 or so hours, or so we thought. The driver said he could hook us up with another friend of his to continue the journey. They all wanted cash which is something we lacked, we had some money, but it was in the banks and no ATMs were around. Our new angel buddy had some cash and just enough to cover the ride. We changed rides by some gas station in the middle of nowhere and went to Iasi, Romania. I also had kept in mind the U.S. Travel Advisory Warning about not traveling to Moldova due to the threat of Transitnistria.

 

By this time, it was 11 pm.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Peace, quiet, and calmness hit our ride, our new buddy and I talked quite a lot and got to know each other. After the conversation tone down all that was stuck in my mind were those explosions around Odesa. Even now I can still feel and hear it, absolutely terrifying. I wasn’t leaving Ukraine, I was protecting my family from the threat of Russia. Seeing how they handled Donbas, Chechnya, Syria and so many wars I feared that they could hit us, people, anyone. By the time we got to the Romania / Moldova border, the driver stepped out to check something. He came back and said there was a problem. That he couldn’t cross and that we had to get out and find another car. This border was also jam-packed. After an hour or so of searching, he found us one and we changed cars again. Hours upon hours of driving and being dead inside we got to our hotel at 5 AM, literally 24 hours of being up. Even then, we couldn’t sleep well. The next day came, music was playing, people were going about their lives like nothing is going on in the world in the breakfast area—my wife and I were crying at what we saw, heard, and felt back home.

 

 

 

 

We will never look at refugees the same way again because we’ve become refugees.

 

Taking the advice of the Department of State, we decided to move as westward into Europe as possible and away from Eastern Europe… soon, we hope we can go to San Francisco with your help and to cover everything that we’ve lost.

 

We may be safe and sound now; our hearts are still in Odesa, Ukraine.

 

What this has taught me is that in situations like this, there are people who get the worst brought out in them by taking advantage of people in vulnerable situations and also there are others who are angels always ready to help. If you’ve read this so far, I think you’re one of those angels, and we would like to thank you from the bottom of our hearts for anything you can do. Anything helps.

 

 

 

I would like to apologize that I didn’t do this sooner but it was difficult to find time, sit down, collect your thoughts, and write something down… especially when you literally had to run away from your city, home, and everything. These days, that’s all what we’ve been doing, running, and moving.

 

We are torn, heart-broken, crying, stressed, angry, hurt, depressed, drained, tired, but I know—we have to keep on moving.

 

It’s especially harder to keep on moving when our son, Sebastian is saying things like “Let’s go home,” “Grandmother,” and “Odesa.”

 

That hurts the most and makes me cry right now as I’m writing this on the train.

 

 

 

 

I’ve never done this before so I don’t even know how to start.

 

But I’m going to try.

 

That’s what can guide anyone through anything, as it has brought us here so far.

 

If would you like to lend a hand…

 

Here’s how you can help...

 

To the best of my ability, I roughly calculated how much we’d need to cover:

- What we have used on my credit cards (transportation, accommodation, food) = will all need to be paid back
- What we will need to use. (Further transportation, train, hotel, food, flights to the U.S., clothing, immigration, visa, legal fees, accommodation, financial cushion while we get new jobs)
- Secure medical expenses/bills/food for my father-in-law for a few months. He’s in a hospital in Odesa, Ukraine right now.
- Assist my brother-in-law finally to survive while he is in Odesa, Ukraine (medical help, food, accommodation, potential transfers, flights, buses, trains etc.) Hopefully, he can get out.

Anything extra beyond this goal would be to extend the medical coverage, help more for the loss of our income, and further assistance to other family members who could use the help in Ukraine.

 

As I’ve mentioned to my mom and father, please do not donate if it hurts you financially. The last thing we want to have in mind is the thought that it can put a burden on you or your family.

 

 

 

 

Go with all of your heart