Funeral costs and service

No one wants to face the death of a loved one, yet, it is something we will all do at some point in our lives. The best we can do is to hope that, when that time comes, we are prepared emotionally and financially for the inevitable hardship that follows.

When our beloved father, Scott Shanafelt, died on Tuesday May 31 - no one was prepared. Over the weekend we saw him and he seemed a little under the weather, but nothing that we thought was concerning. When he didn't answer his phone, we knew that was strange - he always picked up when his children called. When we went to check in, it was too late. Dad was gone. A million things went through our heads - could we have done something different? Should we have known? What didn't he tell us?

What didn't we tell him? We thought we had more time.

We are still sick with remorse. Dad wasn't the first one we lost. Our sister, Haley, and our mom, Vikki, both died within the last few years. Dad struggled so much with their passing and he never really recovered emotionally.

Even after they died, we never had much more than a brief conversation about what we needed to do if one of us should go. I suppose it was just too hard to talk about seriously, the emotion a little to raw - that conversation would come eventually, we figured, down the road when we all settled in to the reality that they were gone. We thought we had more time.

But you never really settle in to that. When people close to you go, they leave a void that cannot be filled.

Part of us all assumed that Dad had everything covered. He was a veteran, after all, a Marine. He was the pride of our country, "one of the best" as they say. And when he was old enough, social security would provide some benefits to help cover the costs associated with death. Dad was going to be 62 this year - he was only a couple years from obtaining Social Security. There was his job at Ford - two decades of dedication to the brand. Surely, we would have more time..

All these questions have gone through our minds numerous times over the past 5 days. Looking back, they seem ridiculous now. Of course they don't cover these things. When we die, we are either prepared or we depend on the financial ability of loved ones. No one ever tells you how expensive it is.

Dad was far from a wealthy man. He survived, yes, but he owned very little. His home was rented, and he relied on the generosity of friends and family when he needed transportation. We aren't wealthy either. Even as we empty our own accounts, we have found that we have fallen short of the amount we need for even the most basic package from the funeral home. That's why we are reaching out to you for help.

Dad deserves better. We want to give him more than this. The American Legion has stepped up and offered to provide the military honors fitting for a marine at no cost. This warms our hearts and we are so grateful. But we need a time and a place for this to happen - things that will cost money. A minister has donated his services for a proper funeral and service of remembrance. We hope that we will be able to put together the resources to give dad this sendoff... but first, we need to take care of the here and now. Any funds we raise through this will go 100% towards dad's death expenses, including, hopefully, a proper funeral fitting a beloved father and Marine. When we raise and save enough money, we will keep everyone updated as to the date of the service.

If you've read this much, then please allow us to give our heartfelt and sincere 'thank you'- it means so much to all three of us that you care. If you would be so kind as to give - every little bit helps - we would be moved beyond measure.

One final thought - keep your loved ones close. Don't take your time with them for granted. Things can change in an instant. As much as it may seem uncomfortable and depressing to do - talk to your loved ones about what they want when they die and develop a plan to pay for it. You never know when you will run out of time.

If you have questions or would like to help out in any other way, please contact Drew, as he is handling the arrangements. If you have memories of fun times you had with dad - anything from funny conversations to long-lasting memories, we would love to hear those, too. Just send one of us a message on Facebook.

There is so much more we could say about Dad. We miss him already - if we had known his time with us was through we would have done so many things differently, and I am sure he would have, too. Our hearts can rest knowing that he is home now with mom and Haley, back in the arms of two souls he never could get over losing. May they all rest in peace.

With love and gratefulness,

Drew, Lindsey and Kelsey