I hate doing this but I'm desperate

I don't know what to do anymore... between palliative med bills, weekly CT scans, monthly hospital stays, and too many surgeries... I have run through my divorce settlement in less than 2 years just to stay alive, and Matt's parents are using their retirement when I need procedures done.

I haven't had to do a GoFundMe since Mickey's suicide attempt after we left my abusive ex, but we literally can't pay our bills, which means my kids have to give us their paychecks instead of using them for college. I feel lower than low, and I just want it to be over. I don't want to do this anymore. I can't work because I spend half of every month in the hospital, and according to the state of Texas, I will be dead before I qualify for disability.

The panic attacks, the seizures, the surgeries, the internal bleeding. I don't want to do this, but I love my family, so I'm trying to fight... I just don't know if I have it in me.

I'm not expecting the $10,000 by any means; literally, anything would help, but GoFundMe suggested the amount. I absolutely hate this, and I feel lower than dirt right now, but we need a roof over our head and food and lights and water and so on and so on. I don't know the future, but the present is currently kicking me to death slowly.

Thanks for reading.